Good Lifestyle

From Idiots fights has serious arguments , there are a wide variety of conflicts that couples can live during their relationship. But whether it is a big fight or a small one, money is one of the most common things that people argue with their significant other. To prevent things from becoming uncontrollable, we talked about several experts for their advice on how to facilitate financial tension in any relationship. Read the rest to know why money fights can be so damaging and discover 10 ways to avoid them.

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The unfortunate reality is that couples separate money from money all the time. In terms of married couples, studies reveal that financial conflicts are one of the "main causes of divorce in the United States," said Michele Goldman , PHD, approved psychologist and Hope for depression Research Foundation Media Advisor.

"Although fighting for money is not the direct cause of the end of the relationship, it can be the stressor that creates a corner between partners," she said Better life . "Once this corner is present, other unhealthy behaviors can settle in the relationship, as less emotional intimacy, less physical or sexual intimacy, business, reduced communication, and more."

So how can you avoid money fighting? Here are 10 tips to follow to follow.

Your money conversations do not need to be something you fear. Whether you have been together for a few months or a few years, you can have conversations on finances that deepen your link.

"Couples should spend time for several nights of an appointment to talk about money, what they feel money and how money has been managed or spoken in their families growing up" , " sex therapist and couple Catherine Dukes, LCSW suggests. "Couples should share how these lessons affected them and how they manage their own finances now."

She adds: "Couples can benefit deeply by also having conversations on their strengths and weaknesses in the management of money and what are their objectives to improve in these areas."

It is only from there that you can move on to more difficult subjects, such as budgeting, savings and expenses in the future.

After obtaining general information on your partner's feelings about money, you can enter dollars and hundred.

"Couples should discuss their attitudes towards money and offer a mutually acceptable plan to manage their finances", " Lillian Rishty , Lcsw, says. "This may include the creation of a budget, decide who will pay invoices and reserve money for joint expenses and individual discretionary expenses." AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

You will have a solid plan to base your financial decisions and make sure you are on the same wavelength.

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Maintaining healthy finances is not a unique affair. Therapists recommend hosting monthly checks to make sure you stay aligned.

"When couples are recorded, they should examine their current financial situation, discuss any purchase or significant investment since the last registration, invoices that must be paid and plan in advance for future expenses," said Steve Carleton , Lcsw. "They should also consult their budget to ensure that they remain within their expenditure limits and update their objectives to align themselves with any change that has occurred since their last recording."

Do it almost at the same time each month to stifle problems in the egg - before becoming major problems.

People usually have certain triggers who make them spend money, according to Goldman. These may include higher stress levels or specific periods of the year, such as the holiday season.

"Knowing your own triggers, as well as knowledge of your partner's triggers, can be useful to catch it before spending occurs," she notes. "If spending occurs by triggers, learn and use it to plan future triggers."

Never try to hide your partner's financial secrets, regardless of size.

"Being honest with each other about money can help couples avoid fighting, because it helps them understand the financial objectives, attitudes and habits of each," explains Carleton.

"When the two partners are transparent and open to their finances, they can create a budget that works best for both, identify areas where they may need to compromise or make changes to reduce potential conflicts and examine their Finances together to make sure they "on the same wavelength", he continues.

It is also the only way to maintain precision in your planning and decision -making.

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Treating finances is a necessary element of any long -term partnership, and you must treat it as such.

"My best tip to avoid fighting for finances is not only to have regular conversations on this subject, but also to enter these conversations by remembering that you and your partner are a team", under license psychotherapist Katherine Chan , LMFT, says.

"Try not to make your partner the enemy by distributing accusations," she adds. "Instead, join a common challenge in your financial situation and you are committed to working together."

Although it is easy to speak of being a team, it is not always as simple. Do not be afraid to "name and challenge the hypotheses you each have on top of each other", advises Lori Ann Kret , LCSW, co-founder of Aspen Relationship Institute .

"What labels do you associate with your partner when you think of its financial habits: inexpensive, immature, high maintenance, selfish, stingy, controlling, excessively worried?" She shares.

The types of labels also have an impact on "your perception of your partner and the dialogue that you are able or willing to have with them", according to Kret.

"Offer that these hypotheses are yours and ask for help from your partner to modify them," she recommends. "Be curious to know what could also be true or more precise in order to expand resolution opportunities and soften the conversation."

No matter how much you talk and try to climb on the same wavelength, it is "inevitable that you have a different relationship with the money your partner," says Goldman. Working to recognize and respect these differences can be a crucial factor to reduce money fighting.

"If you see the expenses of your partner as impulsive, this is more likely to lead to arguments. But if you see your partner's expenses as someone who has changed social class and learning in a new way To navigate finances, there is more compassion, "she explains. "Understanding the root of the reasons why people make certain decisions allows us to honor them and respect them more; this increases empathy and decreases judgment."

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It is important to talk about the past and the present in terms of finance to avoid money fighting. But don't forget to talk about the future - and more specifically, "What Ifs", says Budgeting expert Andrea Woroch .

"What's going on if one of you is injured or passed, how will you pay the bills? After all, if you and your partner count financially, you must think about building financial security nets and You incorporate into your budget, "she said. "This includes the creation of an emergency savings fund, the purchase of long -term life insurance for both partners - even if you stay at home to raise children and create a will or a trust."

If you are your partner who really has trouble seeing your eyes when it comes to money, it may be useful to hire a financial planner.

"Although this may not be necessary for everyone, and is certainly a privilege due to the cost, having a printable third party helping to sail on money conversations can be very useful," said Goldman. "A impartial third party can help provide information, examine finances together, create expenditure limits, budgets, discuss the way to spend in the best way for the future of the couple, help to set financial objectives, and more. "

This story has been updated to include additional inputs, verification of facts and copying edition.