Good Lifestyle

Strong friendships are made More fulfilling life : Studies show that they strengthen happiness and give us an increased feeling of goal, reduce stress and even Reduce our risk Problems such as depression, high blood pressure and an unhealthy body mass index. But sometimes a friendship goes from the addition of value to your life to the feeling of drainage. Experts call the phenomenon "exhausting of friendship".

"This happens when the effort and the energy you put in the relationship prevail over the joy and the support you recover," explains Approved clinical social worker Jessica Hunt .

According to Suzette Bray , Lmft, approved psychotherapist And the author, professional exhaustion is similar to professional exhaustion in other areas of life, such as work and the performance of care, where the benefits he can cause "emotional, mental and sometimes physical ".

Continue to read to learn the signs of professional exhaustion and what therapists say that you can do to remedy it. Go to the root of the problem - and transform your friendship - could be as simple as having an honest conversation.

In relation: 10 signs you are heading for a friend break .

What are the signs of professional exhaustion?

Current symptoms of professional exhaustion may include a level of joy and lower development in the relationship or a feeling of increased resentment.

You might see these problems take place in your interactions. For example, "a text or a call raises a feeling of" UGH, no! "Rather than" Yay! "Said Bray. Or, she says, you can feel" increased embarrassment with things that would not generally bother you ".

After lying with a friend who has exhausted you, you can feel drained or outdated. "It could also cause stress -related physical symptoms such as headaches and fatigue," notes Bray.

In relation: How to apologize to a friend, according to experts in relation .

What causes professional exhaustion?

One of the largest causes is an unequal emotional investment, whether real or perceived.

"Friendship feels unilateral, with you constantly giving more support than you receive," said approved psychologist Shmaya Krinsky , Psyd. "Or you have the impression that your efforts to maintain friendship are not reciprocal."

It could even be as simple as to grow in two different directions.

"For example, if you have a great friendship with someone when you don't have both children, the needs of the two games can change when one of the friends has a baby," said Authorized professional advisor Janice Holland . "Some friendships are very good, while others do not do so."

In such a situation, Holland explains that the friend with the baby can find more links with friends who are also new parents, while "the friend without baby has a need for connection and conversation that their friend cannot Not simply refer or offer.

Finally, toxic behavior will almost always lead to professional exhaustion. "For example, if your friend has manipulative, harmful or disrespectful behavior," said Krinsky.

This is a double-meaning street: "A friendship that lacks open communication or is full of negativity" will lead to professional exhaustion, adds Krinsky.

In relation: How to make friends as an adult: 16 steps to follow .

How to get from the forefront of professional exhaustion

According to Krinsky, there are several steps that you can take to remedy the exhaustion of friendship.

First of all, you will have to define certain limits. "Learn to say no to the requests that drain you and prioritize the activities that bring you joy," he said.

You will also need to effectively communicate these limits: "Have an honest conversation with your friend about your feelings, your needs and your concerns," advises Krinsky.

If these conversations go well, you can continue friendship, but with some adjustments. "Try new activities together to revive interest and pleasure," suggests Krinsky. If you usually hang out at the bar, try to do it or take a course together. Or, if you always walk, try a team work activity like Trivia Night or Tennis.

You might also see that one or both need to fulfill outside of friendship. You can plan outings with other friends or a mental health professional. "Talk to a therapist or an advisor to get advice on managing difficult friendships," said Krinsky.

If your border is not going well, you may need to press the friendship. "Accept to take a temporary break of friendship to recharge and think," he recommends. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

In relation: 10 red flags your friend is a narcissist, say the therapists .

How to know that a friendship is over

Unfortunately, it is not possible to save each friendship, but the key is not to see this as a failure.

"If you have responded to imbalances and the needs expressed, but friendship always exhausts you, it may be time to disengage or end friendship," said Justin Jacques , PHD, founder of Human theory . "If your values ​​or interests have considerably diverged, this can report to the Department of Friendship, and the end of the relationship or to keep you away could be the best."

You can see yourself less frequently or flow without contact.

"It is normal to have friends in small doses," explains Jacques. "A close friend who was in your inner circle can move on to a more peripheral friendship." All this is part of the natural cycle of friendship.