10 signs you are in a co -dependent relationship
It is important to feel whole with or without your partner.
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Finding the right balance in a relationship can be so rewarding. On the other hand, Romantic partnerships Can easily be rejected by a number of underlying problems, including codependence. Proximity to your significant other is usually a good thing, so how can you know if what you have is a problem? To help you understand the true nature of co -of -codependance and how it can affect your relationship, we have turned to several therapists and other experts for their ideas. Read the continuation for 10 signs that you are in a co -dependent relationship.
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What is a co-pesting relationship?
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Before being able to recognize the signs of a co -pesting relationship, it is important to understand exactly what it means.
"A codependent relationship is that where one or both partners depend excessively on the other for approval, a feeling of identity and emotional support", " Rachel Goldberg , LMFT, psychotherapist and founder of Rachel Goldberg therapy , tell Better life .
Codependence in a relationship is like a "tangled web", " Paul Losoff, Psyd, clinical psychologist With the foundation psychology group, adds.
"There is a lack of borders, with one or both partners sacrificing their feeling of identity and independence," he explains.
This can also lead to an "unhealthy imbalance where a person becomes the main exemption from care and the other the care receiver, creating a dependence cycle". Trauma therapist Becca Reed , Lcsw, sharing.
What are the dangers of being in a co -dependent relationship?
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Regarding the importance of codependence. mental health expert Natalie Rosado , LMHC, says that "dangers are numerous and can have a significant impact on both individuals".
According to Rosado, one of the greatest risks is the possibility that codependent relationships are transformed into emotionally or physically abusive situations.
"The" guardian "attempts to maintain control and manipulative behavior of the dependent partner can create a toxic and dangerous environment," she notes.
This dynamic can also lead to an individual loss of identity, emotional exhaustion, resentment and frustration, the difficulty of leaving the relationship and the lack of personal growth.
"The two individuals in a co -dependent relationship can experience slow personal growth," warns Rosado. "The emphasis put by the guardian on their partner inhibits his ability to pursue personal objectives and aspirations, while the dependent partner avoids developing autonomy and responsibility."
Codependence does not mean that your relationship is condemned. In fact, you can work to build a healthier relationship that "involves the two partners working together towards mutual growth and emotional well-being", says Reed.
But before you can try to heal, you must first recognize the signs of a co -dependent relationship. Here are the 10 research warning panels.
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1 A person is always the center of attention.
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A large red flag of co -depence is that one person's emotional needs regularly require more attention than the other.
"In healthy relationships, there is a balance between giving and taking," explains Kara Nassour , approved professional advisor to Shaded counseling . "There may be days when a person is the center of attention or support, but they will give this to his partner sometimes too. In a co -pesting relationship, the person who is the center of attention and support is almost always in this role. "
2 You are always obsessed with your partner's problems.
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On the other hand, the person who giving This attention and support could not always meet their needs. In a co -dependent relationship, a partner can be obsessed with the problems of the other person - so much so that they are "concerned with the problems of their partner all the time and feel responsible for solving them", said Gary Tucker ,, approved psychotherapist to amore mental health.
"This hinders their ability to take responsibility or develop independent problem solving skills," he warns.
3 You become anxious when your partner left.
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In healthy relationships, each person should be able to take care of the occupation when the other is absent, whether for a few hours or a few days. If anxiety sets up, it could be a sign of co -of -codependance.
"Symptoms of anxiety may include difficulty sleeping, supercharging, overculying of technology and screens, consumption of substances or other behaviors that distract someone feelings or provide superficial relief," explains David Helfand , Psyd, a approved psychologist Specialized in couples therapy. "If you feel anxious when your partner is absent, it could be a sign that you depend on them for your well-being."
A certain anxiety is fine, he clarifies.
"Maybe your partner visits his distant parent and you feel empathy," said Helfand. "It is normal to have a slightly anxious reaction, in this case."
However, you should be able to self-pay within a reasonable time. If you cannot, you can depend on your partner for this calming effect.
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4 You do everything together.
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Speating every second together is the opposite of healthy.
"A very easily neglected red flag that someone in the relationship is co -decade for, it is if everything together", SAUS Desiree Taranto , LMHC, approved therapist with Strengthen your mental therapy At New York. "Their interests are starting to dress, and it's almost as if they became a single person."
It is important to mix your life in a key way, but your partner should not become your whole life.
"You should not lose friends, ignore the family or not do the things that interest you before the relationship." Taranto warns.
5 You cannot make decisions without the contribution of the other person.
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In a co -dependent relationship, your sense of self -esteem is generally linked to the approval of the other person. Consequently, you can "find it difficult to make decisions without their contribution", according to Carolina Estevez , Psyd, a approved psychologist With Crestone Wellness.
"It could be as simple as choosing what to eat for dinner or as important as making career choices," she explains.
6 You find it hard to communicate honestly.
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A real communication is essential in any relationship.
"Codependants are often afraid of sharing their real feelings and thoughts, especially if they have the impression of being judged or rejected by the other," said Colleen Wenner , LMHC, therapist at New Heights Counseling & Consulting . "This can lead to an unhealthy dynamic where the two partners are constantly trying to please each other and unable to express themselves honestly."
This lack of communication could lead to the inability to meet the needs and desires of each. The co -dependent person could also be forced to transform into what the other wants the other.
"That only makes matters worse," notes Wenner.
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7 You have trouble saying no.
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You will not always agree with everything in your relationship. Compromise is important, but if you have trouble saying "no" even when you wish, you could be in a co -dependent relationship.
"There is a tendency to go back when it is upset and to leave the partner's needs and emotions before theirs," shares Goldberg. "Without healthy and clear borders, this leads to an inness, a lack of respect and possibly resentment, a loss of self and a constant submergence."
8 The break is your worst fear.
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No matter how good it is, your relationship should not be your only priority in life. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB
"If a person expresses that the relationship is everything and they need it to survive, it's a huge red flag," warns Taranto. "It is a sign of codependence because the person who expresses it probably lacks self -esteem and uses their relationship as a means of feeling whole."
As Taranto notes, you should access each partnership as a whole person.
"Another way that it shows co-depence is that if the other person in the relationship is aware of the partner's feelings coepest, it can make the relationship feels like a burden," she said. "It may seem very heavy, and this person can live in the fear of breaking with the other person, not knowing what they would do if the relationship ends."
9 You feel guilty of having taken time for yourself.
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Another enormous part of maintaining your entire whole position in a relationship is to take time for yourself. But it can be difficult to do when co -depence is wreaking havoc, says Estevez.
"In a co-depending relationship, time alone or personal care may seem selfish because it means taking time away from your partner," she explains. "You might feel guilty for taking care of your own needs instead of constantly focusing on theirs."
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10 You are still looking for comfort.
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It's good to know that you are loved. But if there is a constant need for reassurance present, it could be a sign of a co -dependent relationship, according to Goldberg.
"This could mean asking verbally reassuring verbally, looking for it by physical intimacy or checking the partner's phone," she said. "This compromises self -esteem and can destroy confidence in the relationship."
This story has been updated to include additional inputs, verification of facts and copying edition.
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USPS suspends services in these states, with immediate effect
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