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If we were raised on Disney films, romantic comedy or Broadway musicals, the concepts of true love , fate and love at first sight have been anchored in us from a very young age. We have to believe that at one point, we will lock our eyes with someone on the other side of the room and instantly know that we found our soulmate . But is the idea of this instant connection based in reality? Can you see someone for the first time and immediately know that they are "your person"? You are not alone if you have already found yourself asking: "Is the love at first sight real?" We have consulted experts to discover the truth. Read the rest for their ideas.

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Love at first glance against physical attraction: what is the difference?

In simple terms, love at first sight is like the feeling that you are just "supposed to be" with someone. It is often used synonymous with an instantaneous initial attraction which is so powerful, it really looks like love.

"The idea of" love at first sight "is a secular concept based on belief that we can feel a deep romantic link with a certain immediately Seeing them, " clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly , PHD, author of The joy of imperfect love , tell Better life . "Many people want to believe in" love at first sight ", because the concept nourishes our natural human desire for romantic love that was supposed to be".

But while love at first sight probably involves a certain degree of strong physical attraction, the two are not one and the same thing.

"The key distinction between" love at first sight "and physical attraction is in depth and duration", " Courtney Hubscher , LMHC, LCPC, NCC, Cognitivo-behavioral therapy , said. "The physical attraction is immediate and mainly based on external qualities - looks, behavior, body language. It is a visceral reaction which can be powerful but tends to be superficial."

As Manly notes, love at first sight goes beyond that, and you can feel an "indefinable connection". Your intuition could tell you something like: "This person suits me - this person suits me."

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False common ideas on love at first sight

The feeling will be mutual.

Although we often see love at first sight depicting as two people immediately falling to each other, the feeling is not always mutual in real life.

As Beth Ribarsky , PHD, professor and director From the Communication School and the Media of the University of Illinois Springfield, you should point out, you must recognize that the person who drew your attention could have an opinion different from you.

She warns: "It is important to note that the other person may not feel the same feelings."

Instant attraction means that a relationship will be easy.

Falling in love from the start does not mean that there will be no bumps on the road. No relationship is entirely perfect, even if it looks like at first - and it is important to remember that they need efforts to maintain.

"People want to believe that they can fall in love with someone with an instant link, because they also remove a large part of the work associated with the search for an appropriate match and the effort to build and maintain A romantic relationship, "explains Ribarsky.

Love at first glance is reflected in Destiny.

Because we have been flooded with the idea of true love, it is easy to believe that an immediate connection is fate. If you find yourself together, it may seem much more valid. However, it could be a coincidence or a good luck rather than the work of fate. It may also have to do with your point of view.

"After someone is really in love with someone, he often looks at his first lesser -meeting with glasses filled with love - transferring his current feelings to their initial interactions," said Ribarsky. "Love is a communicatively constructed phenomenon of construction of feelings of emotional proximity, interpersonal affection and commitment to your partner and the relationship."

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What does science say about love at first sight?

If you have already wondered if there were real research behind Love at first glance, you will be interested in learning that there are any. But while films and books perpetuate the idea that "love can be immediate, deep and predestined", science adopts a less romantic approach, notes Hubscher. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"Science offers a more pragmatic point of view. Research indicates that what we often interpret as" love at first glance "is more likely a strong initial attraction," she explains. "Neurochemical reactions, such as the release of dopamine and oxytocin, play an important role in these early stages of attraction, creating euphoric feelings often associated with love fall."

Ribarsky also points to this "Flurry of Feel-Goom Chemicals" which is released when we have a first glimpse of someone who attracts us.

Speaking of the brain and neuroscience, a 2021 study specifically studied "the impulse of love at first sight", noting that people fall in love faster when they to want has. According to the researchers, the participants who had the desire to fall in love were faster to find the right partner, which is conducive to the establishment of a romantic relationship.

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What are the signs of falling in love at first sight?

You feel a magnetic traction.

If you have this instant connection with someone, you may feel like being automatically attracted to them.

"Falling in love at first glance often has the impression that a magnet takes you to the other person," shares Manly.

You want to know them at a deeper level.

Hubscher underlines that you may feel an "emotional push" and that you want to know this person at a deeper level.

Manly adds: "Falling love at first glance often has a sincere interest in wanting to know more about the other person - almost an insatiable desire for emotional and mental connection."

It is also even more palpable if you both feel the same thing or you feel the "same draw", says Manly.

You don't have the words to describe your feelings.

Another sign that you might be in love is not really saying how you feel in words.

"Love at first glance tends to challenge words - you might find yourself listing exactly what you like in the other," says Manly.

After learning more about the person, this is likely to change.

"Once you have learned the object of your love, you can probably list countless qualities that you like - or love - on the other person," adds Manly.

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Your attraction goes beyond the simple physical draw.

We have already explained the difference between love at first sight and physical attraction. So if you immediately fall in love, you will have the impression that your interest goes further than the surface level.

"Falling in love at first sight can also be dizzying - almost as if you were in another kingdom. And although you can feel a strong feeling of sexual attraction, the attraction will be felt beyond the purely physical domain", Manly explain.

This is also different from "sex-based craze" and sexual attraction, she clarifies.

You feel nervous or super focused.

You may notice specific physical signs, but these can also be confused with lust, so keep this in mind when you check with your feelings.

"Because the chemicals that are released in our brain when we covet someone are very similar to those released with large drugs, our body often reacts in a similar way," shares Ribarsky. "Our pulse could increase, we could feel rinsed and feel floating in our stomachs when you see or especially touching them - shot butterflies."

You can also find yourself hyper focused on the other person, even losing sleep accordingly.

"It becomes a bit of a feeling of euphoria," said Ribarsky.

You have a feeling of familiarity and a desire for a future together.

Another revealing sign of love at first glance is a "strange but comforting" feeling that you already know the other person - perhaps even that you know them forever, share Hubscher.

You might also be able to imagine your life with them from that moment, or "see them as an important part of your life," she said.

In relation: 10 signs of body language which means that someone is attracted to you .

Can love at first sight last?

The jury is somewhat determined to know if love at first sight really exists or not: you can very well live this phenomenon and this instant feeling of knowing that you have found the love of your life. However, experts and research suggest that this initial attraction may not be an authentic love.

But let's look at the right side: if you have this instant connection and fall quickly and hard, your relationship can certainly grow and resist the test of time.

"Research shows that love at first sight can surely last, especially if the partners are well equaled in key areas such as personality, interests and values," said Manly, pointing to a 2011 study This compared those who fell in love immediately from couples who started as friends. "Although some may predict that the quality of the relationship is ultimately lower for couples" Love at First Sight "compared to those whose romantic feelings grow over time, research shows that these couples benefit from the same quality of relationships than those who first build a friendship. "

The key to the two relationships was a personality similarity. Manly explains: "Those who have more similar personality traits - whether in love at first sight or otherwise - try to enjoy a better quality of romantic relationship."

In comparison, relationships that do not have this element and which are based solely on lust and physical attraction are not likely to survive.

"Sustainable love must be built on more than a simple physical lust. Love requires emotional intimacy and commitment," said Ribarsky. "The chemicals that are released in our brain when we covet someone will eventually fade - or they will have less effect on us. We must therefore work to develop a constructed relationship on a stronger basis than the attraction physical."