I am therapist and it is 6 signs that your brother is toxic
Brother and sister relations can be dysfunctional - and downright abusive too.
A brother or a sister can be a blessing - someone to make fun memories with it, rely for support during the difficult times of your family and share things in common. However, as with all other types of relationships, they require mutual respect, confidence and healthy communication . Sometimes these fundamental elements are simply not there, because your brother is downright toxic - and no matter how much you try to create a strong link with them, their behavior makes this impossible.
According to Rachel Goldberg , LMFT, the founder of Rachel Goldberg therapy , a "toxic" brother is someone whose words and actions constantly have a negative impact on your mental, emotional and sometimes physical well-being. Very often, Goldberg says that their behavior can negatively affect all family dynamics.
Once you are aware of the indicators, you can take measures to take care of yourself - if that means let your brother know or to know how their behavior affects you, by creating a distance from them by limiting communication or By working with an individual or family therapist. Here, the therapists share revealing signs that your brother could be toxic.
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1 They constantly criticize you.
Does your brother or sister often make derogatory comments on your physical appearance, career, financial situation or life choices? If your brother always seems to find things to disapprove of in your life, experts say it's a huge red flag.
For example, Natalie Rosado , LMHC, owner / founder of Tampa Counseling Place , says your brother could make fun of your weight or make fun of your professional achievements.
"This behavior is toxic because it degrades your self -esteem over time," explains Goldberg.
2 Everything is a competition.
Of course, a small dose of rivalry between brothers and sisters is normal. But if your brother is too competitive with you about everything, it can become exhausting and frustrating.
For example, let's say that you get a promotion - and instead of congratulating you, your brother or a sister takes advantage of the possibility of boasting how they manage at work. Or maybe during a family dinner, they make it a point of highlighting all their recent achievements while drawing attention to negative events in your life.
A more extreme example, says Rosado, is when a brother dismisses your subject to damage your reputation and make himself better.
"A brother who is constantly compared to you can make you feel that you should always prove your value," says Goldberg.
Finally, this type of dynamic can lead to anxiety, depression and low self-esteem .
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3 They frequently use manipulation.
Manipulation can take many forms. Your brother can constantly make you trip to do things for them, Gaslight You To believe that they have never done or said something overwhelming, constantly play the victim to get what they want, or give you silent treatment during an argument to maintain a power position. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB
All this behavior is toxic, according to Rosado and Goldberg, because it manipulates your behavior in a way that you no longer act according to your objectives, needs, desires and values.
4 You have to walk on egg shells around them.
If you have to look at every little thing you do or say around your brother, Goldberg says it's another red flag to be careful.
You may feel that you must be very careful because their anger can be explosive, or you never know what will cause an intense emotional reaction. Anyway, you cannot have a healthy relationship with a brother or a sister with whom you cannot be honest. You should be able to tell them what you think and feel without fear of the backlash.
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5 They violate your limits several times.
Let's say that you tell your brother that they cannot call you after 10 p.m. Unless it is an emergency, or that they cannot go through your house unexpectedly. How do they react when you set limits Like these? Are they able to respect them? Do they get angry or do they ignore them?
"Flying the limits is toxic because it sends the message you don't matter," said Goldberg. "If your brother constantly invades your privacy or take your things without asking yourself, for example, it may lead you to believe that you cannot trust people to respect your autonomy or your choices."
6 They don't show you any empathy.
Compassion is a two -way street in relations, including between brothers and sisters. Just as you show your brother of empathy when they are struggling, you deserve to receive the same thing in return.
"The toxic brothers and sisters can lack empathy and not recognize or validate their brother's feelings," said Rosado.
When they do not recognize or do not reject your emotions squarely, refusing to offer essential support during difficult times, this can make your relationship feel unilateral.
This behavior can be rooted in narcissistic trends "Sensing your brother expects their needs to come first." Anyway, it is obviously hurtful when your brother shows no respect for what you are going through.
