Good Lifestyle

Aside from the family, friends are the people you turn to when you need advice or a crime partner. They are the ones who are supposed to worry about you and your needs, but unfortunately, this is not always the case. Unhealthy friendships Can be detrimental to your quality of life and your self -esteem, and this is particularly true if a close friend turns out to be a narcissistic.

"Narcissism occurs on a spectrum, of very little self-focal with extreme self-absorption. Real narcissistic- those that are eligible for the diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder- are, by definition, extremely self-self- absorbed, " clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly , PHD, author of The joy of imperfect love , tell Better life . "Although a narcissist can act as a friend when he meets his needs, a friendship can easily be rejected if someone - or something - Else arrives."

According to Manly, narcissists generally have a weak emotional intelligence , and they also lack "important friendship skills", so you will want to keep an eye on certain behaviors. Read the rest for 10 red flags your friend is a narcissist.

In relation: I am a psychologist and these are the 5 revealing signs that someone is a narcissist .

We all know someone who likes to hear them speak - and although all these people are not narcissists, the monopolizing conversation regularly is a red flag.

"Even if you disclose exciting or tragic news, [a narcissist] will always find a way to divert attention to themselves," said Beth Ribarsky , PHD, professor and director From the Communication and Media School to the University of Illinois Springfield. "Sometimes it's a bit subtle. For example, you could talk about your dog who recently succeeded, and they could say:" I already told you about my dog? ""

Friends should be there to develop and offer constructive criticism if and when you ask. But a narcissist will not wait for you to ask for comments - they will just give it.

"The narcissists, although often highly charismatic, especially when they are in the eyes of the public, tend to be very critical, contemptuous and even degrading of others - including their closest friends," explains Manly. "The narcissist can be extremely critical and condescending to the point of eroding the self -esteem of a friend."

A tendency to "break down" is also on the list of Ribarsky.

"The narcissists want to assure you that you know that they are superior, so they will often be one of you (that is to say that their experience was much worse than yours) or will drop you in a blatant way," said- She. "They will ignore your strengths and try to highlight theirs."

In relation: 7 warnings signs that you have a toxic friendship .

Another sign that your friend can be a narcissist is that if you get this throbbing feeling that your relationship is unilateral, according to Courtney Hubscher , LMHC, LCPC, NCC, Cognitivo-behavioral therapy .

"Is it it seems that your relationship revolves around life, problems and the Narcissistic agenda? If you feel that your role in friendship is mainly as an audience of your friend's life drama , it could be a sign of a unilateral centered friendship, "said Hubscher.

Likewise, if you are still there for your friend but they do not arise for you, it should send red flags.

"When you need someone to or help with a project, it is nowhere," said Ribarsky. "They can even enlighten you by believing that you are in need in the rare moments when you may need it."

A narcissist is probably quick to ring with their two hundred, but if you do the same, it will not be well received.

"The narcissistic, unfortunately, has a nucleus which is deeply rooted in feelings of shame, insecurity and inferiority; their inner vulnerability is masked by an exterior of intimidation, often arrogant," says Manly. "However, under the upper facade is a sad and lonely individual who is easily despised by the same dose of criticism or constructive feedback."

In relation: Why you should never call a narcissist - and what to do instead, therapists say .

Another thing that the narcissists are struggling is to apologize and to own when they are wrong.

"Admitting that they were wrong would only pay attention to their weaknesses. So they often have trouble with remorse. They will deny reprehensible acts or find an excuse outside themselves," said Ribarsky. "When you tell them that you were injured when they did not send SMS on your birthday, they may put you fault that you" should have reminded them "or that your" expectations are unrealistic "or that 'They were "overloaded at work". " ""

Manly also points out that these friends will not be able to offer significant excuses: their need to be "correct" will often encourage them to point their finger on someone else.

It is not unusual to have a temperament: we all become sometimes emotional and sometimes meet. But if your friend has angry explosions, take note.

"The narcissists can be subject to temperature of anger attacks and explosions of anger when they do not reach their way; they find it difficult to regulate their emotions, especially in close relationships," explains Manly.

It is also important to make signs of manipulation, which, according to Hubscher, is "at the heart of narcissistic relationships".

"The narcissists often use guilt, favors or charm to control their friends," she said. "If you notice that your friend often turns conversation or situations to their advantage and leaves you confused about reality, take it as an important red flag."

Ribarsky, Hubscher and Manly all indicate a need for attention and validation as a sign of death from a narcissist. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"The real narcissist likes to be" on stage "whether as a queen of the drama, champion or knowledge," explains Manly. "This need for attention and assertion can have it drained to be around the narcissist. The narcissists tend not to really worry about others; they constantly pay attention to themselves."

Ribarsky notes that a narcissistic also fishes compliments to reassure yourself. These friends want you to "know how incredible they are and how lucky you are to be friends with them," she said.

In relation: 5 larger red flags someone is a narcissist, according to a high -level psychologist .

Not all friends will be empathic or capable of understanding each experience you have. But a narcissist will not even try.

"Unsurprisingly, narcissists tend to have difficulties in their relationships because of a lack of concern or interest in the needs, thoughts or feelings of another person," explains Manly. "One of the most appalling features of a narcissist is their willingness to do everything that must be done to obtain its personal needs or its agenda."

According to Hubscher, a narcissist can also irritate you or reject you entirely when you need support.

Hubscher defines narcissism as "a personality trait that implies arrogance, a feeling of grandiose meaning of self-importance and a need for excessive admiration", which differs from confidence.

According to Manly, the narcissists want others to focus on their "achievements, talents and perceived superiority" - and they are not interested in sharing the spotlights.

"The narcissist loves to be appreciated and rented, but when it comes to completing others, the narcissistic is often silent," she says.

If you notice these signs in one of your friends, experts highlight the importance of assessing your relationship.

"When you feel more drained than under tension by your friendship, it is probably time to call it," shares Ribarsky. "Of course, relationships reflected and flowing, but a narcissist will take and continuously take until you don't think you have to offer."

When cutting links, Ribarsky recommends keeping an eye on gas lighting, a narcissist could use to "manipulate you in the relationship". And although it is not always recommended, this is one of the situations where you can "ghost".

"Some will say that this is immature, but when it comes to saving you, making you a priority and avoiding being reduced in the toxicity of a narcissistic - links that are constantly separating without communication", she suggests. "Block their number, unsubscribe on social networks, etc."

On the other hand, if you want to maintain friendship, understand what it really involves.

"Your mental health will get better when you observe - and do not respond to the self -absorbed tactics of the narcissist," notes Manly. "As the narcissists lack empathy and compassion, it is important to manage your expectations; you will probably never have a reciprocal and emotionally connected relationship with a narcissist."