Good Lifestyle

Retirement is a sea change of a life transition - where work has dominated your days, you can now create new routines and find new ways to spend your time. And this may include spending much more of this time with a spouse or a partner. It can be great, and it can also lead to tensions and conflicts. (It is not for nothing that CNBC recently reported that "Gray Divorces" after 65 years have reached historical levels.) But experts say that you can enjoy the years of harmonious gold with a little planning and D 'Conscious attention to your relationship. These are eight ways to strengthen your wedding in retirement.

"One of the most effective ways to maintain and strengthen a relationship after retirement is to have healthy time together compared to a separate time," explains Aaron Engel, MS, LPC, NCC, therapist with Counselling Cardinal in Ohio. "This ratio is not the same for each couple, but most couples need this differentiation whatever age. Having more time together makes it essential to have hobbies and Distinct activities as well as shared interests to keep things exciting. "

"Retirement means more time together, which can be both a blessing and a challenge," said Sophie Cress, LMFT , a approved wedding and family therapist with Sexualalpha. "Having open and honest conversations on individual expectations, feelings and needs is essential. Discuss your vision of this new chapter. Are there hobs or activities that you have always wanted to continue? How Do you plan to balance individual interests over time together? These conversations can prevent misunderstandings and frustrations. "

"As we age, our need for physical contact does not decrease; then continue these hugs and hands," advises Deon Black, a certified sex educator and founder of Let's talk about sex . "In addition, remember that rolling eyes or disdainful comments are relational roadblocks." AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"After retirement, it is common to feel a disturbance in the daily structure that once works," said Cress. "To mitigate this, it may be useful to establish a new routine with your partner. This routine can provide a sense of objective and normality to your daily life. For example, you can plan regular exercise sessions , volunteer at local organizations, or learn a new skill together. It is important to discuss and agree on the activities you like and find fulfilling. "

"It is easy to get into the ruts and continue to follow the same routine you have always done," said Laura Silverstein, LCSW , certified therapist and author of Love is a verb of action . "But the best way to keep life fun and interesting is to try new things. It's time to take a cooking or cinema lesson, try a new restaurant or surprise your spouse with a little lunch in bed for no reason. The key to this strategy is to choose something completely new and different. Even if it's a disaster, you can laugh. ""

As the retirement takes place, "you probably know yourself inside and outside. So the difficult part of this strategy is to ask an open question that you have not yet asked," explains Silverstein. "It could dip some fascinating conversations." Some ideas: what is one of your favorite childhood memories? When you look back on our wedding, what are you most proud of our life together? What remains in your list of buckets that we have not yet done?

"One of the risks of relational happiness to retirement is loneliness and isolation," explains Silverstein. "You can keep your wedding healthy by maintaining your relationships with your friends, family and community. Maybe sometimes it is difficult to motivate yourself to socialize, but there is a lot of evidence that it is worth it . " You can shop in person instead of being online, plan lunch or dinner with friends or travel to visit the family.

In relation: 2 alternatives which are just as beneficial as walking 10,000 steps

"Retirement couples can avoid the tension of relationships by focusing on what is good in the relationship rather on what is not," explains the couple advisor Julienne Derichs, LCPC . "They train to express their gratitude daily and more freely and often. There are important research on happiness and gratitude that shows to focus on the things we have, rather than those that we do not return to people Happy and increases gratitude overall. Pay attention to the moments of the day when we feel happy or grateful increase our general feeling of happiness or gratitude, rather than great gestures. "