8 "polished" questions that are actually offensive, say the experts in label.
If you ask these questions, you go beyond.
Asking for thoughtful questions is a key element in the way we communicate and get to know each other. However, when we are on a mission of teaching the facts, it is easy to infiltrate subjects that can make people who are uncomfortable or present yourself as offensive.
"There are a multitude of questions that are apparently polite but are actually quite left," says JDI RR Smith , founder of Consulting at the Mannersmith label . "Part of the confusion is that people do not necessarily understand how close they are of someone else."
Smith explains that if it may be perfectly acceptable to ask your spouse, to another significant, to a family member or to a close friend a more delicate or intimate question, this same exchange may be inappropriate with a neighbor, a knowledge or a colleague. "Generally, the subject of the money or the body of anyone who should only be saved for the nearest and the most expensive ... and even then, think twice before asking!" she says.
Wondering what special questions you should avoid conversation? Read the rest to learn eight "polished" questions that are actually offensive, according to label experts.
In relation: 7 Polished ways to divert coarse issues, label experts say .
1 When are you going to get married?
Many people consider marriage as the foundation of society and assume that if someone has not yet married, they end up doing it. However, asking if an individual or a couple intends to marry is "invasive and really none of your things," said Jules Hirst , founder of Label consultant .
If you speak to a meeting couple, it can also put them on the spot by making them defend them or explain their relationship. Whether they are skeptical about the institution of marriage, do not feel ready for engagement, whether you have problems in the relationship or want to achieve certain financial objectives before marriage, you walk in a very territory staff asking you.
"Marriage may not be for everyone, so don't try to put the couple in this box," said Hirst Better life.
In relation: 6 "polished" things you do that are actually rude, say the label experts .
2 When do you both have children?
This question is inappropriate for several of the same reasons that it is poorly advised to ask questions about marriage. However, it is also delivered with additional traps that people should be aware.
As a foreigner, you don't know where someone could be in their family planning journey. You may speak with a person who encounters fertility problems, has experienced a miscarriage, does not feel financially or emotionally prepared for parenting, or a number of other deeply personal complications. If they have not already shared these things with you, ask Prying.
"Children are not for everyone either, so don't put pressure on the couple," said Hirst.
In relation: 10 "polis" compliments that you give that are actually offensive .
3 Why are you still single?
You can really be curious - this person is a socket as far as you are concerned! But asking why someone is always single is like asking them to identify their greatest defect. He throws the life of single as a symbol of failure and tries to diagnose what was wrong.
Instead, accepting the lifestyle of a person without feeling the need to dissect him could possibly make him more comfortable opening up.
Hirst adds that many people consider the life of a single as ideal "" to find a partner is not easy and that some people prefer to be single ".
In relation: 6 times, you should never kiss someone, say the label experts .
4 How much did it cost?
Money remains a sensitive subject, sometimes even among close friends and family members. If someone has not volunteer how much something costs it, it is better not to ask the question and the risk of being roughly. "Finances and costs are taboo subjects," explains Hirst.
In relation: 8 things for women should never apologize, say the label experts .
5 How much do you earn?
Likewise, asking someone's income for the income is another question that you should not ask unless it is directly relevant to you. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB
"Your spouse has just won a huge new promotion. After congratulations, you can ask yourself questions about the increase in salary," said Smith. "Your colleague at work has just won a huge new promotion. After congratulations, you should not ask questions about the increase."
In relation: 6 questions you should never ask a woman, say the label experts .
6 How old are you?
This question may seem harmless - this is one of the most fundamental biographical facts of your life, after all. However, we live in an extremely focused society on young people, which means that some people are uncomfortable to share their age for fear of being perceived differently.
"Age is a sensitive subject that should be avoided," says Hirst. Instead of looking for a number, which will put this person in a box, you can know more by asking related questions. For example, you can ask for how long they have worked in their field, or discover which music era resonates the most with them.
In relation: 6 questions you should never ask during a dinner, say the label experts .
7 Are you sick?
You may think that this question demonstrates a concern for the other person, which would normally be considered polished. However, asking almost all questions about the appearance of a person presents himself as gross, critical and critical, says Hirst. Unless someone has obvious symptoms of illness (coughs, sneezing, etc.), wondering if they are sick depending on their tired appearance or in time can be deeply hurtful and insulting.
Many women declare this question on days when they are in perfect health, but not carrying their usual makeup. Avoid hypotheses can help you avoid injuring someone's feelings or making it feel embarrassed.
In relation: 17 Polished things people never do .
8 Do you want a drink?
Whether or not the person drinks alcohol is a deeply personal choice. This decision can be summed up as a range of factors, including their values, their health, their personal history with alcohol, etc.
Because alcohol is such an important element in social circles, many people instinctively distinguish anyone who does not drink with the group. Hirst says that even if you can simply be curious about the person's reasoning, this is probably uncomfortable: "Not everyone drinks and the question puts unnecessary pressure on the person for their choice."
For more label advice delivered directly in your reception box, Register for our daily newsletter .
