Good Lifestyle

When you to marry , the most difficult relationship that you will have to learn to navigate is not that between you and your spouse. This could, in fact, be between you and your partner's parents. The in -laws present themselves with all forms and sizes - from the dominator brutally to almost nonexistent. But whether you get along or not, it is essential to have limits in place. Speaking to therapists, we have gathered an overview of the place where it is appropriate and even necessary to trace the line. Read the rest to discover five limits that you should have with your parents-in-law.

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You and your spouse are allowed to have your own personal space without having to make sacrifices. Sanam Hafez , Psyd, a Neuropsychologist based in New York and the director of understanding the mind, says it is crucial So that your parents-in-law respect this to keep your relationship in good health.

In that spirit, you must let them know what you see being ok with regard to visits, because many people have different perspectives.

"Discuss and agree with boundaries concerning visits, nightmakers and privacy," advises Hafez. "Clarify the areas of your house prohibited or establish guidelines on the quantity of notice you need before the guests arrived."

However, you don't just need to spell your preferences for events in person. Jennifer Kelman , LCSW, a family therapist Work with Justanswer, says Better life It is also important to put a limit on the phone calls from your parents-in-law. This should include being clear at the time and the frequency to which these calls are acceptable.

"Without this border, your spouse's parents can call several times a day and at unappropriate hours just to" register "," she warns. "You can ask your spouse to let them know that while they love them, a daily call or constant texts takes time away from your connection with your spouse."

It is a border that many people find it difficult to verbalize because they are concerned about the way their parents-in-law will take it, explains Kelman.

"But then they feel annoyed when the third call of the day arrives at dinner time," she said. "For the health of your relationship with your spouse, this border must be defined if the calls are frequent and at inappropriate times."

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Your partner's parents have nothing to be part of your disagreements, especially because they are likely to be biased towards the side of their own child. If you find that they are trying to get involved in problems between both of you, you cannot let it slide, according to Kelman.

"Once this border is broken, there is no turning back, and you will be at the end of advice on how to negotiate difficulties when they arise," she warns. "This border is crucial and crucial to fix from the start because it will be difficult to repress it once this dynamic is defined."

However, this should not be done hard.

"You can simply say in a loving way:" I know you come from a place of love, but it is important that we were working through things without contribution from others. I love you to want to be useful, But we want to keep our relationship between us, "recommends Kelman.

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You should also be able to define clear expectations with regard to your own physical preferences, according to KayTee Gillis , LCSW, a approved psychotherapist who works with survivors of family and relational trauma.

"These are limits concerning your body and how you want to be touched. For example, it could involve whether or not you are comfortable of the embraces," explains Gillis.

This can even extend to physical preferences with regard to your children or pets, as if you agree or not to let others hold or hug them, she adds.

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Finding your financial foot as a married couple can take some time, but be sure to let your parents-in-law intervene. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"Money questions can often cause tensions," said Hafez. "Discuss subjects such as loans, financial support or involvement in major financial decisions. Be transparent to your expectations and limits, and establish limits that correspond to your financial objectives and values."

This also includes the establishment of a border around the financial geux that you will accept, adds Kelman.

"Plebles will give money, trips, houses, but these gifts can be attached to the channels," she explains. For example, if they buy a house for you and your spouse, they could try to make you feel as if you were forced to spend all the holidays with them because of this.

"Although it can be easy in the short term to accept gifts, is wary of the conditions that can accompany him," warns Kelman.