Good Lifestyle

Have you ever heard the expression, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions?" Basically, even when you want to say, you can always end up making an injuring mistake. For example, let's say that you are dinner with a friend and insist on several occasions to pay, despite their desire to bill . Your heart is in the right place, but if your friend is offended? And if they perceive your insistence assuming that they cannot afford to pay their half of the meal? This is just an example of how sometimes, even when you think you are polite, you are really rude.

The first step, of course, is awareness: if you can identify your social slippages, you can avoid them at all costs in the future. In advance, label experts share some of these common blunders - as well as advice on what to do instead.

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This may seem a thoughtful decision to try to help a host or a hostess set up for his event, but think twice before introducing yourself early, said Expert in a label Lisa Mirza Grotts .

Unless the host specifically asks you to come before other guests, your early arrival can end up stressing them - which, of course, is the opposite of what you are trying to do. The fact of presenting you unexpectedly forced them to rush and find a task to do while they are still preparing.

If you want to intervene, ask the host first if he needs help or not for anything and let them dictate the time you have to get there. And if you arrive early by accident - say, because there was less traffic than expected - Grotts recommends simply driving in the block several times.

Maintaining an optimistic state of mind is excellent, but when you push this to other people without asserting their emotions first, it can be problematic. This is known as " toxic positivity "And this often sends the message to the other person that it is not normal to feel sad, disappointed, frustrated, etc. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"Although reassurance is often considered a kind gesture, it can sometimes reject or invalidate someone's pain or concerns," said Avigail Lev , psychotherapist and director of CBT center in the Bay region . "This can make sure that the person feels obliged to believe that everything is fine even when he has difficulty."

So, the next time your friend is upset by something, aim to validate their experience rather than minimize it. Instead of saying: "It could be much worse, however!" Or, "but you have so much recognition" everything I can do to improve things? ""

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It may be instinctive to give advice to someone when they share a problem with you - whether it implies parenting, the treatment of a difficult boss or work through an approximate relationship. But according to Grotts, it is never a good idea to distribute suggestions unless they have explicitly asked for it.

"It may appear to be intrusive or implying that the person is unable to manage the situation by himself," she explains.

Very often, someone just needs to let off steam - so the best thing you can do is just listening to their problem, then asking if it is interested or not by your advice before sharing it.

By the way, the same goes to jump to help someone with a task when he did not ask for your help, explains Grotts.

Although it may seem a nice gesture to complete someone on the appearance of their body, it can certainly turn against them. That is why Olivia Howell , a certified life coach and co-founder / CEO Fresh departure register , advises to avoid it.

For example, "wow, do you look incredible - have you lost weight?" Can trigger all kinds of insecurity on their appearance. If their weight loss was not intentional - speak, due to a health problem or a depression, your comment may be insensitive.

And if the person is currently struggling with a food disorder or has a history of disorder, you could involuntarily feed this problem by strengthening the idea that the thin is better.

This does not mean that you should not make compliments - just focus on something other than their bodies, such as their skills, their personality traits or what they make you feel. For example, Howell recommends saying something like: "You have incredible energy!" Or "You always make me laugh."

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It is human nature to link someone's experiences to yours - this is how we understand each other and establish links. That said, it can appear to be rude and self -centered.

"It is important to recognize that sometimes people just need to express their feelings without being immediately linked or compared to," said Grotts. "This can involuntarily divert attention from the person's own experience and make them feel incredible or poorly understood."

So, when a friend tries to share his joy or pain with you, try to immediately avoid attention by sharing a story of your own life.

In addition, resist the urge to say things like: "I know exactly how you feel." You may think you do, but everyone's experiences are unique and imply that you understand the depths of someone's pain can sometimes be disabled.

Do you tend to say "I'm sorry" as an instinctive reaction, even for things for which you don't really need to apologize? It is a common habit, but it is certainly the one you want to break, both for you and for people around you.

Each time you say "sorry" for something minor or out of your control, you put the responsibility of the other person to soothe you saying "it's ok", or "it does not matter", While in reality it is up to you to recognize that it is not necessary to apologize in the first place.

"This can give the impression of low self -confidence or constant reassurance research," explains Grotts Better life . "In addition, apologize again and again for the same behavior while not modifying behavior, it is manipulation - not remorse. While excuses have their place, use them sparingly and truly if necessary can make them more significant. "