Good Lifestyle

We all strive to be a good person, and this is particularly true in our romantic relationship . But there is a big difference between trying to always act with kindness and allow you to be walked everywhere. If you never say "no" your partner Even when you wish, you can be a pleasure. Many people adopt this "beautiful" nature in a relationship because they believe that it will prevent any problem from being being posed. But although it can work for a while, sooner or later, your lack of spine will come back to bite you. Read more to learn five ways of being a pleasure that pleasure can ruin your relationship, according to therapists.

Read this then: 8 "small but toxic" things to stop telling your partner, according to the therapists .

If you always act like the man yes (or the woman!) In your relationship, things can easily become bitter. As Trisha Owsley , Ma, a approved psychotherapist Based in Ohio, explains that people pleasant to people can allow negative behaviors from your significant other.

"There are consequences for all choices," she warns. "When we say yes to our partner, it can mean that we take over and let them take down."

People should, of course, be allowed to make mistakes. But if you never speak against them, your partner never has the opportunity to "learn some of the important lessons you may withdraw to try to make their life easier," explains Owsley.

The pleasant people often act against their real desires and needs - making you "inauthentic", according to Billy Roberts , Lisw-s, therapist and owner of ADHD advice of the concentrated mind In Columbus, Ohio.

"How can we trust the love of another when a big relationship is linked to his desire to extend?" Roberts requests. "When relationships work, both parties are independent people capable of expressing their own needs and compromising accordingly." AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

Go hand in hand with everything your other significant (or even, just what you think They want) does not allow the real to enter the relationship, adds Paula Lamanna , LCSW, a approved therapist and founder of psychotherapy with decisive elements.

"If you tell them that you also like romantic comedies, when you really hate them, you are dishonest with your partner," she said.

Healthy borders are an important part of any relationship, Jennifer Kelman , LCSW, a mental health expert and approved psychotherapist on Justanswer, says Better life . According to Kelman, people's pleasures are generally unable to set limits with their partner.

"In these cases, the limits can be extremely diffused so as not to upset another," she said. "As a result, intrusions can occur and you can end up being used, benefited and possibly abused."

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Many relationships collapse due to increasing resentment - and this can easily happen when you live inauthestically and not fixing borders.

"When you say" yes "when you mean" no ", it can bring peace for the moment, but you end up feeling full of resentment towards your partner," said Nancy Landrum , Ma, a Related coach and creator of the Millionaire Marriage Club. "This can create an emotional distance between you and your partner."

The result of this pleasant people is a silent resentment, according to Valeria West , MHC-LP, a therapist working at Intuitive healing psychotherapy At New York. But just because you don't speak that it is not there.

"You can tell yourself that you agree to always say yes or do your best for others, but in the long term, this can reproduce negative feelings about the people with whom you are in relations, and they n 'are often not aware of it, "said West says.

Consequently, you do not give your partner an equitable chance to correct or correct the things you have grown up for them.

Each couple fights - it is only part of life. But being able to resolve these arguments with healthy communication is what strengthens a relationship. If you are a pleasure for people, you generally do not let things achieve this essential first step.

"The pleasures of people often avoid conflicts or disagreements because they fear upsetting others or being rejected", " David Tzall , Psyd, a approved psychologist Based in New York, explains. "But avoiding conflicts can prevent important problems from being solved and resolved and you don't learn to do so by yourself."

According to Tzall,

"Unresolved conflicts can lead to built resentment, communication failures and the deterioration of your relationship," he adds. "Work on the development of skills in conflict resolution. Learn effective communication techniques, active listening and the art of compromise."