6 red flags your partner has a weak "emotional intelligence", say the therapists

These warning panels could issue problems for your relationship.


Being able to identify, treat and communicate your emotions - as well as recognize and understand the emotions of others - can obviously take advantage of your relationship in a myriad in ways. This ability is known as "emotional intelligence" or EQ, and experts say that all kinds of problems can arise when a partner is lacking in this area.

"When someone has a high level of emotional intelligence, he is able to adapt, communicate effectively and easily solve conflicts," said Lisa Lawless , clinical psychotherapist and CEO of Holistic wisdom . "They can also give their partners emotional support, confidence and vital privacy."

On the other hand, when someone has a weak emotional intelligence, it can affect their self -awareness and their capacity for empathy. According James Miller , a psychotherapist and host of Radio Lifeology , EQ also plays an important role in someone's ability to regulate their own emotions and manage conflicts .

The good news? With a little effort, it is completely possible to build the equation. But first, you will have to identify that this is, in fact, the problem. Here are six signs that suggest that your partner can miss the emotional intelligence service.

Read this then: 5 red flags on emojis that your partner sends SMS, according to therapists .

6 signs your partner has a weak emotional intelligence

1. They do not validate your feelings.

A couple talking on the sofa at home. A young man and woman having a serious discussion on the couch
istock

When you share with your partner that you are upset, how do they react? Thank and accept your feelings and do you feel heard and understood? Or do you brush you, do they refuse to validate and minimize your experiences?

According Marisa T. Cohen , a license marriage and family therapist and researcher in relation to Swell , an inability to validate your emotions is a classic sign of weak emotional intelligence.

"This may indicate that they do not have the ability to put themselves in the place of someone else," said Candace Kotkin-De Carvalho , a social worker approved at Absolute awakening .

Certain examples of valid sentences include: "I can imagine that it seems really frustrating", "it must have been really overwhelming" or "I can understand why you would feel in this way". A partner with Low EQ may not answer in this way because it fights with empathy.

2. They cannot adapt.

Couple yelling and having an argument on couch

Children tend to unleash when they are frustrated, disappointed or upset - but a significant part of growth involves learning to "self -resume" or to manage these negative emotions.

If it seems that the smallest things can trigger your partner to have uncontrollable emotional explosions, this could be a sign that they have weak emotional intelligence.

According to Lawless, a low EQ partner may find it difficult to regulate his own emotions and comfort or calm down. Consequently, you may notice that they react like a toddler, throwing a crisis of anger when things do not happen, rather than expressing their feelings healthy and in good one.

"They can often react to situations with anger and assault," adds Kotkin-de Carvalho. "This is worrying because it shows a lack of self -control and suggests that they may not understand the impact of their behavior on others.

"Helping your partner identifying their own emotional triggers is an important step in improving their emotional intelligence," said Kotkin-de Carvalho. "This can help them become aware of their emotions and behaviors so that they can be aware of how they react to certain situations."

Read this then: 8 "small but toxic" things to stop telling your partner, according to the therapists .

3. They behave insensitively.

upset couple on couch

Does your partner make unloved or occasional jokes and comments, then it seems confused when people are offended? According to Kotkin-de Carvalho, it could be due to the fact that they find it difficult to understand the emotions of others, and therefore find it difficult to respond in a appropriate manner according to the framework, the occasion and the emotional tone in a situation given.

"Their inability to" read the room "can often cause embarrassment", adds Miller. "If you bring them, they can become defensive because they do not see a problem with their behavior."

4. They are not a good listener.

man angry with his girlfriend husband mistakes
Dropout

If your partner constantly seems distracted While you speak - or interrupt yourself - it can also be a sign of weak emotional intelligence, says Lawless. "This demonstrates an empathy and respect for the feelings and opinions of others . "" AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

It is also common for people to low EQ dominate conversations. Again, it signals a lack of self -awareness and empathy.

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5. They always try to "solve" your problems, even when you don't want them to do it.

young couple fighting
Dropout

Let's say that you come home after a terrible day of work and that you awaken your partner about your colleague who will not get his weight on a project and your client who has unrealistic requests.

Instead of saying: "It seems horrible, I'm really sorry that you had to face this", they instantly enter the "repair" mode - tell you what you should have said to your customer or how you should manage your colleague .

It may not be what you wanted or should need them, but if they have a weak emotional intelligence, that may be all they can offer.

"A person with a lower equalizer will not ask empathetic questions," says Miller. "Instead, they will use facts and data to converse and are often blind to the social clues."

Remember, however, that it does not mean that they do not like or do not want to support you. "Instead, they usually want to solve problems right away and not focus on the emotions of the situation," added Miller.

6. They are still changing blame.

Angry millennial couple arguing shouting blaming each other of problem, frustrated husband and annoyed wife quarreling about bad marriage relationships, unhappy young family fighting at home concept
Istock / Fizkes

According to Miller, a partner with weak emotional intelligence can find it difficult to assume responsibility for his actions. "It is much easier to blame someone else because there is no overview of the motivation or the natural consequences of their behavior," he said.

This refusal to recognize their role in a situation may be due to an inability to manage and treat the feelings of guilt and shame In response to reprehensible acts.


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