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We have all heard the sentence: once a cheater, always a cheater. Often, he is used to dissuading someone from entering a new relationship ("if they were cheating on their latest partner, they would also deceive you.") He can also be used to encourage someone to Leave their current partnership ("If they have cheated on you once, they would cheat again.") However, it is not because the sentence is circulated that it is correct. To find out if this common saying is true or a myth, we have consulted experts in relation. In front, they weigh on the sentence "once a cheater, always a cheater."

Read this then: 6 red flags that come out the cheating, the therapists warn .

Relational experts that we interviewed unanimously agreed that the expression "once a cheater, always a cheater", is false. "Since more than 50% of people cheat at some point in their lives, not everyone does it all the time," said Karyn Wittmeyer , mental health advisor approved at Well-being . Point! AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

So, what pushes cheating? "Some people will always cheat because they do not think that the rules apply to them, and they will not take into account their actions," explains Wittmeyer.

However, Wittmeyer adds that most of the dalliances enter a category this expert expert Esther Perel calls "non -pathological" affairs. "These are affairs that lead the person to learn something about himself to find a feeling of freedom, give someone a way to leave a toxic relationship Or preserve a relationship where a need is not satisfied, "explains Wittmeyer. These situations would not often occur in different circumstances in a different relationship.

Even in pathological cases, experts agree that people can change. "I think anyone can change if it is ready to do it," said Joanne Malseed , mental health advisor approved at Privacy balance . "I have watched many customers do the work to cure trauma and learn to express their needs and feel safe in their relationships in order to avoid looking elsewhere." It takes work, but it is possible.

Read this then: 7 signs of body language which means that your partner cheats, according to the therapists .

The expression "once a cheater, always a cheater" does not come from nowhere. Michelle Mays ,, Authorized professional advisor and author of Base of betrayal , note that it is a protective belief.

"The safest way to guarantee again not to feel the pain of betrayal is to decide the cheater is [not] exchangeable and to move on," explains Mays. "However, more than two decades of work with sexual betrayal, I saw hundreds of cheating partners - some treating isolated infidelities and some treating long stories of sexual dependence - change their models and not only become loyal partners But intimately connected partners. "

Of course, Mays notes that Go ahead with a cheat partner is not always the right decision. In many cases, it is best to cut links.

If you learn that a new partner has cheated, you don't need to assume that he will repeat behavior. Carolina Pataky , LMFT, expert in relation and founder of southern Florida Love Discovery Institute , says that if it is understandable to have concerns, it is important to remember that people can change.

"Approach with empathy and understanding and give the person the opportunity to explain their actions and their commitment to change their behavior in the future," said Pataky.

You will also want to consider the context of their business . "For example, how did the person react to be captured and how did he work to make amends?" Pataky notes. "How do they feel their actions now, and what measures have they taken to make sure that this will not happen again?" Communicate your concerns and discuss how you can move forward in a healthy and confident way.

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There are several ways to determine if your partner has learned from his past infidelities, says Pataky. The first is communication.

"The cheater should be willing to have open and honest conversations on their infidelity, their feelings and their commitment to change their behavior," said Pataky. "They should also be willing to answer any questions or concerns that their partner may have."

The following is to take responsibility. If your partner is able to apologize and accept the consequences of his behavior, it is a good sign.

Working with a professional is also a positive sign that your partner wants to go ahead. "The cheater should be willing to ask for help, whether through therapy, advice or self-assistance resources, to solve the underlying problems that have led to their infidelity," said Pataky.

In doing so, they can understand The Ra-Rast cause of their behavior. From there, they can recover more fully and be better able to maintain a faithful and faithful relationship.