5 "super important" conversations to have before you get married, according to the therapists

Talk about these things now to save future grief.


Cultivate a successful marriage takes time, efforts, and above all, planning. But the key elements of this planning take place before You walk in the aisle. You know, things like wonder How you are going to mix households, divide finances and decide if and when to have children. But planning goes beyond these big QS that most people cover three. Here, a love coach and therapists tell us the key things to discuss before doing the knot. The future of your partnership depends on it.

Read this then: Couples who do not do this together have more unhappy weddings, the new data show .

1
What are the mistakes your parents made in their wedding that you don't want to repeat in yours?

couple serious conversation
Eyewink / Shutterstock Irma

Sometimes the key to planning the future is to turn to the past. And in the case of marriage, it could mean unpack the relationship that your parents had.

In one Tiktok video , love coach Sabrina Flores Said a "super important" question that couples should ask each other: what errors that your parents made you don't want to repeat? Flores notes that it should not be a rapid convo. Instead, she suggests discussing it for a few hours.

Not only will this align you, you and your partner, on the things you do and that you do not want to do in a wedding, but it will bring you emotionally closer because you leave yourself in a very personal part of your past. This can also help your partner understand all the habits you may have developed because of how your parents have interacted.

2
What unhealthy habits have you had in past relationships concerning conflicts and communication that still appear in it?

Serious Conversation
Fizkes / Shutterstock

The conflict is a Huge part of relationships . And to last the long term, married couples must know how to have them effectively. That's why, in Another Tiktok video , Flores suggest that partners wonder about the unhealthy habits they had in past relationships that still appear in their current.

"If you want to spend the rest of your life with your partner and want to have a healthy relationship, and you don't want this relationship to end like your last one, then it's a conversation that you must have who requires all of you Two to check your Egos at the door, ”she explains. Again, book a few hours to approach this subject. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

Read this then: 5 flag -like red relations that everyone is missing, experts warn .

3
What does monogamy mean for you?

A couple looking at each in bed, with the man's face shown smiling.
Tom Merton / Istock

The term monogamy may seem to have a definition, but approved psychologist Nicole Prause , PHD, notes that the ideas of couples of it often differ, which can lead to injured feelings and even a break.

"Seeing the pornography that deceives you?" Would you feel violated if they were coquentis with someone at work without intention to act with them sexually? If they were unexpectedly embraced, would you like them to have been explicit to reject the person or shoot far enough? "She suggests asking." Obviously, a couple cannot anticipate all the potential situations that may arise, but have some of these conversations can help establish the most important aspect: confidence. "

If you trust That your partner tries to make the right choices, it will eliminate unnecessary injuries.

4
What do you think makes a successful wedding?

Group of friends having a party at home. Sitting on sofa, dressed fancy. Drinking wine, eating cake, talking and laughing. Evening.
Istock / Svetikd

Having a goal of working is always good. "This question makes it possible to promote a deeper understanding of the other's values and priorities, as well as to reveal how compatible the two people are," explains Steve Carleton , LCSW, Caciii, an approved social worker and clinical director at Gallus detoxification . "It also gives partners the opportunity to discuss subjects such as communication, compromise, confidence, respect and commitment - which are all key elements of successful marriages."

Use your answers as a plan for the areas on which you will make a point to work throughout your partnership to make sure you are both happy.

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5
What are your wedding expectations?

Older couple on a date
Whisper

Knowing what you are committed to is also important. "Asking this question can help partners better understand what each of them expects from the relationship and how they plan to work together to succeed," explains Carleton. "This offers couples the opportunity to speak openly about their hopes, their dreams and their goals for the future - and, hopefully, to come on common ground."

With clear expectations, you will have a solid base for a happy and lasting wedding - and no ugly surprises.


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