6 tips to put an end to a "sexual drought", according to the therapists
Tip: it starts with a romantic evening.
Throughout any relationship, sex reflected and flows. A few months (or maybe even years), you become weird on a daily basis, while others, You hit a rut . Many factors, Including the disease , distance and childcare needs can cause these ruts. But from time to time, a sexual rut turns into sex Drought - And you realize that you and your partner have not been intimate in a period of time. Fortunately, it is possible to break the cycle. In front, the therapists tell us the main ways of putting an end to a sexual drought. Tip: you may have to burst your calendar application.
Read this then: The 8 biggest sex sex sex want couples to know .
1 Evaluate the cause of your sexual drought.
A sexual drought can occur for a multitude of reasons, and many of them are completely benign. So when should you worry?
"It is important to assess your needs and see how much sex you want and what you are ready to accept," says David Tzall , Psyd, a approved psychologist Based in Brooklyn, New York. "Not feeling close or [being] disconnected from your partner may indicate that the lack of sex has an impact on your relationship."
If this happens, you will want to discover the root of the problem. "It is likely that the couple does not have sex for more fundamental problems in the relationship," said Tzall. "If one or both partners are not emotionally vulnerable or attentive, sex can drop."
To reach the same wavelength, you will have to have an honest discussion. Let your partner know what you feel about your sex life and that the lack of sex concerns you. Then listen to your partner's point of view. Once you have a mutual understanding, you will be able to solve the problem. Enlighten the help of a therapist of a couple if necessary.
2 Be intentional.
After having decided that you want to end your sexual drought as a couple, adopt an intentional approach to romance.
"Before you engage in sexual activity, try to rekindle the flame by planning a romantic meeting night, taking a shower together or planning a couple massage", explains Sarita Ford , LCSW-C, a Approved clinical social worker . "Couples can also increase intimacy by understanding the love language of their spouses and operating inside."
Plan a date or activity before the date that tends to This love language . By addressing each other at an emotional and romantic level, you will prepare the way for greater intimacy.
Read this then: 4 easy ways to make sex more pleasant after 60 years .
3 Solve the "children's problem".
One of the most common reasons why couples are in a sexual drought is due to parental commitments.
"After children, sex tends to become less frequent," said Jess O'Reilly , PHD, resident Astroglide sexual expert . "There are exceptions, but it is common for couples to invest more in their roles as parents than in their partner roles after the birth of a child and while raising children." Unfortunately, this can lead to a lack of connection, attraction and sexual tension, Note O'Reilly.
The return of this type of sexual drought requires intentional change. "Stop calling mom or dad; stop prioritizing your children on your relationship; stop apologizing and think that your relationship will always be intact once children are moving," explains O'reilly. "You must invest in a relationship to make sure that it is happy and fulfilling."
4 Incorporate privacy into your daily life.
Sex is not the only way to become more intimate; The ways in which you show affection on a daily basis. "There are other forms of physical connectivity which are just as necessary, such as hugs, spoon, massage, embraces and hand," explains Tzall. "The desire to have sex is starting outside the room."
Something as simple as a sensual look or a brief moment of PDA can roll the ball.
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5 Plan the time for privacy.
Another way of being more intentional with your sex life is to plan it thoroughly. "Rather than leaving it in the air, you may need to plan when you take dates or have intimate time," says Tzall. "Without this type of planning, it can fall on the edge of the path. It is easy to become lazy in a relationship and push the activities or rely on the other person to plan and do." AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB
By taking the initiative, you will both take care to take time for your relationship and show your partner how much you care.
6 Plan the recordings.
Another activity that you want to do cassettes in your calendars is a six -month recording, suggests O'Reilly. "Record how often you want to have sex on a piece of paper. Under your number, note the frequency you believe that your partner wants to have sex," explains O'Reilly. Ask your partner to do the same, then compare your answers. "Laugh, make a discussion, then approach strategies to meet somewhere in the middle."
During your recording, O'Reilly also suggests discussing other sex -related subjects. For example, you can plan what you will do if one person is in mood and the other is not, how you can each support the other's interest in sex, and how you can stay connected when sex is out of the table.
By having these discussions, you will open the way to a deeper emotional intimacy and a clearer communication, so that dryness becomes less frequent.
