If your partner talks about it, he may want to break, the therapists say

They could send you a clear signal that they are unhappy in the relationship.


One of the greatest joys of a marriage is the memories you make together. These may includeRomantic vacations, the day of your wedding or the birth of your children. There is nothing like making the old photographs and videos scroll and remember the good times that you have shared. But if you remember recently and your partner acts differently, it could be a sign that something is wrong. In fact, the partner can tell you - insofar as they are subtly - that they are unhappy, say the therapists. Read the rest to discover the sign that your loved one could be ready to break.

Read this then:The 6 words that you should "never" tell your partner, according to a therapist.

Your partner could send you a range of panels.

older couple reminiscing
Floor image / trigger

It is important to pay attention to the subtle changes in your relationship, because they can often indicate that something is not good.

Your partner could express the desire to break through theirbody language, or they can start asking youSome questions This suggests that they are looking for a way out. They could even startusing the word "I" more, a February.2021 Study Published inProceedings of the National Academy of Sciences(PNA) found.

But the therapists suggest that there is still something other than your partner could say that reports problems in paradise, and that has to do with your shared experiences.

You will notice that your partner was doing this in conversation.

female couple disagreeing
BOJANSTORY / ISTOCK

Happy memories should be just that: happy. But if your partner is looking for a way to get out of the relationship, he can offer him a different opinion.

"Your partner could start talking differently about a happy memory for various reasons", "Beth Ribarsky, PHD, professor ofInterpersonal communication At the University of Illinois Springfield, saysBetter life. "The first reason that can jump into your brain is that they are unhappy with you or the relationship ... And unfortunately, it could be true. When we are not satisfied with an individual, we are more likely to perceive Everything they do in a more negative way. "

Nancy Landrum, Ma, author andRelationship coach, agrees. She notes that some partners will seek means to explain and provide a reason for their dissatisfaction. "When someone is unhappy, one of the things he sometimes does is to rewrite history to justify his misfortune," explains Landrum. "Thus, an event which, at some point, has brought happiness, is reinterpreted in a negative way to support their current feelings of dissatisfaction."

This desire to break could be aware or unconscious, according toDavid Helfand, Psyd, aauthorizedpsychologist Specializing in couples therapy, neurofeedback and brain cartography. However, he warns of your partner's conclusions without fully assessing the relationship.

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There are other reasons why your partner can speak negatively.

woman with depression
Singe Images / Shutterstock

Although this is a possibility that your partner can manipulate these memories because they no longer want to be together, this is not the only reason.

Your partner may have had mixed feelings at the time. They might not have been as happy as you thought, and these feelings can get along. "Over time, negative feelings can be amplified, which has rejected or reduce the happy feelings of this memory," explains Landrum.

Ribarsky also quotes this as a possibility, explaining that your partner might not have had the same experience as you and that you "never expressed their different experience before".AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

Your partner could also feel external pressure, explains Ribarsky, which can have an impact on how he speaks and interacts with you. "Perhaps they are under a lot of stress at work or they go through depression. When our brains are already filled with negativity or stress, it is easy to drop a cloud of negativity on everything - even - even - even The happiest of experiences, "she said.

Communication is essential.

Couple talking on the couch expressing gratitude
Whisper

It can be surprising and disturbing to hear your partner speaking negatively, but as difficult as it can be, talking about it is probably your best bet. ""If you feel this negativity, this is a key opportunity to open the communication lines, "said Ribarsky." Not talking about what you perceive / feel can send you a way to think too much and even resentment. ""

Obtaining a defensive will not be productive either, and Landrum recommends helping your partner meet their needs rather than trying to convince them that they remember badly.

"Ask your partner if something is wrong. Or, say:" I thought you really enjoyed X. Is there something that bothers you? "", Médro-sort Ribarsky. "It is only by open communication that we can start solving underlying problems."

If you really find yourself in a dead end or do not manage to go through your individual experiences, Landrum advises in search of "a neutral third party, a therapist or a coach, who can listen and reconstruct the whole situation".


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