This is how "99%" of emotional affairs begin, says the therapist

There is something specific that they almost all have in common at first.


If you know the term "emotional affair", you know that having a can be just as injured and damaging asphysical case. Establishing a romantic link with someone who is not your partner can be seriously detrimental to your relationship, confidence and even wishes. Depending on how you and your partner define monogamy, avoid emotional cheating is essential, but these types of business occur - and a therapist says that there is a common way to start. Read the rest to find out how much 99% of emotional things really start.

Read this then:6 red flags that come out the cheating, the therapists warn.

Emotional affairs are not cut and dry.

woman having emotional affair
Fizkes / Shutterstock

Unlike cheating that involves physical intimacy, strictly emotional affairs can be more difficult to define.

"An emotional affair is more difficult to identify,"David Tzall, Psyd, aapproved psychologist Based in Brooklyn, saysBetter life. "He does not have the same parameters as a traditional case where someone has crossed a line in physical contact. An emotional matter is more when you are looking for your emotional needs through someone else."

This can "certainly make a snowball," says Tzall, creating a deeper connection than the one you have with your current partner or spouse. But business does not always start intentionally, and many of those who find themselves in these situations have not decided to cheat in the first place. What they often have in common, however, is a specific trend.

There is a similar starting point for these cases.

coworkers having serious conversation
BARANQ / Shutterstock

In a video published on the Tiktok social media application,Kathy Nickerson, PHD, aapproved clinical psychologist And expert in relation, says that 99% of emotional affairs "start in the same way" - when the relationshipDetails and difficulties are shared with someone other than your partner. It could be a friend, a spouse, a colleague, a neighbor or someone else.AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"Conversations often start quite innocently, you just share ... that things are difficult at the moment," said Nickerson in the video of August 20. "But then you get more and more support, you find yourself wanting to send an SMS to this person, feelings are starting to grow."

We all need to pass out sometimes, but Tzall should pay attention to the information you share, even if you feel that this other person "just gets you". Nickerson adds that this emotional connection can lead to other forms of intimacy, and platonic hugs can even turn into a kiss. For this reason, she advises to be "very, very careful".

"I often say, avoid having these conversations with anyone you think you could be attracted because you are at high risk for the case," said Nickerson at the end of the video.

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His advice resonated with social media users.

woman suspecting cheating husband
Prostock-Studio / Shutterstock

Nickerson's video has about 1.4 million views, 136,000 likes and nearly 2,000 comments on its opinions. A Tiktok user wrote that some people are "so relaxed to denigrate their partners to colleagues and friends", while another quipped that "there should never be a third in a relationship with two people".

Several people have confirmed that this is exactly how the problems started in their own relationships. "Mine started innocent and we were both advice to the relationship with each other ... It degenerated from there," wrote a user, while others said they were on different sides of these cases.

"I was" the other woman "in an emotional case ... and yes. 100%," said a user.

"My ex -husband started doing this with a colleague," said another. "They both complained about their partners together."

There is an underlying reason why people want to evacuate others.

male couple talking
Zinkevych / Istock

The search for a confidant outside of your relationship is certainly a path to an emotional affair, but the desire to engage with someone else is almost always the result of something you miss, say the experts.

"All business is the result of someone who comes out of marriage for a strong desire that is not met in marriage", "David Helfand, Psyd, aapproved psychologist The WHO specializes in couples therapy, Neurofeedback and brain cartography, explains. "Entrusting a friend is certainly a way to start an emotional affair, [but] it starts well before that. Affairs research shows us that in most cases, the partner who ends up wandering outside the marriage has tried At least a few times to reconnect with their partner and get their needs in the relationship. "

Therapists recommend keeping this communication line with your partner open to the best of your abilities, and if you have encountered little response, consider your options.

"If you do not have the impression of being able to speak to your partner, consider reaching out to a therapist or a psychologist to get help", " Lanae St.john , DHS, CSC, ACS, Founder of Mamasutra , recount Better life . "If your partner is not willing to work on the relationship, it may be time to think about what it means for you and renegotiate or end the relationship."


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