5 questions that make you less confident, say the therapists
There are more assertive ways to pass your point of view.
WhereasConfidence is the key, it is difficult to maintain all the time. According to Psychology Today, it is estimated that around 85% of the world's population isImpacted by low self -esteem; So, if you've already had the impression that your confidence is waving, you are not alone.Body language And the way you present yourself is often quoted as means of demonstrating insurance, as well as the way you speak and interact with others. But sometimes the things you say can hurt you, especially if you ask the bad questions. We consulted the therapists to discover the questions you ask that could make you less confident. Read the rest to find out what you may want to reformulate.
Read this then:Wearing this color means that people trust you more, study says.
1 "Do you think I should ...?"
There is no harm in asking a second opinion on something, especially if you are about to make a big decision. However, phrasing is important. By asking a friend if he thinks you should do something, you inadvertently withdraw from your own independence,Ronnie Adamowicz, My,Psychotherapist, advisorand life and well-being coach, saysBetter life.
"Formulated in the above way ('Do you think I should'), this removes the autonomy of the one who asks for it, and gives it to the other, sending a clear message that they are not sure in They themselves, and finally depict them as not confident, "said Adamowicz.
If you are looking for someone else's opinion, he recommends changing the way you ask, asking for comments and saying: "I would like to have your opinion on how I should [do this]. ""
"This simple change puts the power of the person who wonders the question," explains AdamoWicz.
2 "Are you angry against me?"
Feeling that someone is angry or angry with you is never fun, and for people who don't like to shake the boat, it can be downright painful. But according toIeva kubiliute,,Well-being psychologist, sex advisor and relations, and independent writer at It's and you, you shouldn't explicitly ask someone: "Are you angry with me?"AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB
"You will often ask yourself this question if you are used to interpreting the social clues badly and reflecting on tears," she said. "Sometimes it is the result of damaged self -esteem in that you assume that people's actions depend on how you act."
This can give you the appearance of not being sure of yourself, and by extension, less confident. Instead of assuming that someone is angry with you, asking for him what he feels - you might be surprised to discover that the problem has nothing to do with you.
Read this then:5 questions that your partner asks that it means that they want to break, say the therapists.
3 "Do I look good?"
Many people have struggled with the body image. This can directly affect self -confidence, especially if you have the impression that your appearance does not align with social standards. If you are looking for a validation on what you wear or how you have styled your hair, the therapists recommend looking at inside rather than asking others what they think.
Similar to ask if someone is angry with you, asking if you "look ok" is "question of comfort of comfort" "Andrea Rowell, MSW, RSW, Asocial worker Based in Toronto, says.
"Recupeting is a key characteristic of anxiety, in particular a mixture of anxiety and low self-esteem," she notes. "People can show that they are happy to reassure you, but that can allow you to trust you less."
Rowell adds that these types of questions "make things obvious" to those around you that you lack faith in yourself - a perception that can also be associated with lower trust.
4 "Why don't you do it?"
Another way you interpret a lack of confidence is to ask others to take tasks that you could do yourself.If you take an opportunity to a friend or a colleague and add something to the effect of "you are better than me anyway", you only make yourself fall
"Self-depreciation is a common trait in individuals who abolish their insecurity," says Kubiliute. "However, it is a bad line, especially if [you] are qualified for the task."
Experts say that you should not minimize your own credibility or question your abilities, which will "stain your self-confidence", she underlines.
If you really have the impression that someone is better equipped for work, consider your phrasing. Kubiliute recommends asking: "You seem to have so much expertise on this subject. Could you teach me the strings so that I can improve my skills?"
For more life tips delivered directly in your reception box, Register for our daily newsletter .
5 "Did I do well?"
Asking for assurance that your actions were appropriate is another question that makes you less confident. Again, you are looking for an external validation and an innuendo that you need someone else to confirm that you haven't done anything wrong.
According to Rowell, you can think of a different way of sentenced comfort research issues, but it may be better to ask yourself why you put them first. "You can also determine whether or not these questions come from a deeper place to need support in self-construction," she said Better life .
