Good Lifestyle

Marriage is alifetime commitment, and like any relationship, he has his ups and downs. There are probably certain things that you and your spouse do not agree, or subjects that just seem to hit a nerve. But beyond the specific frustrations that put under your skin, maritime advisers say that there are certain things that you should never say to your spouse, even if they reflect what you really feel. In most cases, you will find that there are better ways to articulate what you mean to help navigate in a difficult situation. Read the rest to find out which sentences and questions you should avoid.

Read this then:5 signs that your partner does not trust you, according to the therapists.

This should probably go without saying, but launching the word "divorce" in the conversation with your spouse is reckless.

"What is a divorce predictor? Talking about divorce! In the heat of an argument, threatening to leave the relationship is manipulative and injuring", "Caroline Madden, PHD, author andAuthorized and family wedding therapist, recountBetter life. "The first two times you do this in an argument, you get the result you want - you are afraid at the heart of your partner that she or he will be abandoned."

After that, however, your spouse will probably start to wonder what life would look like without relationships - and without you. Your spouse "begins to invest less, to take less in care and to discover the relationship," says Madden. "It is not done because he or he does not love you; it is a simple preservation of oneself."

Colleen Wenner, LMHC, MCAP, LPC,founder and clinical director From New Heights Counselling & Consulting, LLC, adds that by saying "divorce", you withdraw the hope of your relationship. "Without hope, you have communicated that your relationship is not worth working," she notes.

"Remember that you have married your spouse for better or for worse," adds Wenner. "Your spouse has committed to you and you have to respect this. Do not use threats to manipulate your spouse to get what you want. Instead, try to use empathy and understanding."

Using absolute like "always" and "never" can be isolated for your spouse is why you should avoid using them when you try to get your point of view.

"This type of declaration is hurtful because it implies that your spouse is incompetent," explains Wenner. "You say that you know better than your spouse, and if he does not agree with you, then he must be stupid or weak."

These accusations are also often false and "closed communication",Talal Alsaleem, Psyd,Authorized and family wedding therapistExplain. "When couples speak in absoluteness, they end up discussing exaggeration instead of reaching the bottom of the problem with which they have problems," he said.

Charais L. Josie,,Approved clinical social workerAnd owner and founder of CJ Counseling and Consulting Services, adds that this also leaves little room for negotiation or compassion. "It also tells your partner that you do not recognize any strength or effort on their part," she said.

Josie suggests framing your concerns differently. "A large start-up for this is to use" I "declarations followed by a word of feeling such as" I feel outdated and I could use your help (insert a specific action request) ", advise- she.

For more relationship advice delivered directly in your reception box,Register for our daily newsletter.

In all aspects of life, it is common to feel shame when you believe you have dropped someone. The same can be said of a marriage, where the relationship is supposed to be balanced.

"Each marriage can have disappointments ranging from him without helping the house that she is too tired to have sex, and everything else,"Laura Amador,,Certified relationship coach, recountBetter life. "Many of us think that the way of solving these problems is to verbalize what they make us feel and what we need our spouse to solve it. The problem with this approach is that he often creates the opposite effect."

According to Amador, you must verbalize your concerns if your needs are not met, but there are "non -critical" means that are respectful of communicating these feelings. "If someone is waiting for the best of us, we naturally want to meet this expectation," she said. "Using this knowledge, we can inspire the desired results by enjoying what they do well and encouraging what we would like to see in the relationship."

Comparisons in marriage are a great non -no, say the experts - and with regard to your past relationship, they must be avoided at all costs. "Never raise your ex in a conversation - it is very unfair to compare your ex with your spouse,"Katina Tarver, My,Life and relationship coach of the pleasant relationship, tellsBetter life.

Brenda Wade, PHD,clinical psychologist And the chief advisor of Online for Love also quotes the exs as subject to avoid. If you have a trauma resulting from previous relationships, you can express this to your spouse, she says, but there is "no need to go into details". As she explains, "good or bad, your spouse is not interested in any of your incidents with your ex."AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

Tarver recommends building your spouse rather than demolishing them and saying that your ex would have done something differently. "Underline their forces, and if you want to give comments, give them respectfully, not by degrading them," she said. "Constant lowering will hinder their confidence and your relationship too!"

Read this then:5 red flags that spell the divorce, say the therapists.

"You" can be a delicate word in relationships, especially when used as part of an accusation. Josie recommends avoiding the word all together, as it may look like a "blame word" and make your partner feel that they must defend themselves.

The same goes for the sentences that question your spouse's judgment, like: "What did you think?" Not only are you reprimanding your partner - he isolates them,Craig Miller,,Psychologist and co-founder Of Academia Labs LLC, explains.

"This questioning, whatever the tone you say, implies that your spouse did not think clearly when they did something, and you blame them only," he said. "It also undermines their ability to think clearly when you question their ability to understand logically. Therefore, this gas lights up your spouse by thinking that they can do nothing [correctly] and they cannot decide by them -Mee. "

You will inadvertently knock your partner's confidence inadvertently, because they now believe that doing something by themselves will eventually make you mistaken and disappoint you. Josie recommends approaching the situation differently in order to go to the real path of the problem when he poses questions about the intentions of a partner. "Be intentional when you communicate by saying what you really want to say," she says. "This can be cropped with a specific action request or offer your support to do so with your partner."