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Like many actors, 33 years oldColton Haynesstarted as ateenage model. As he started to book work for major brands - and several years before scoring his role of escape as Jackson on the supernatural MTV dramaTeen wolf—Haynes was gay in his personal life. But, as he writes in his new memories,Miss Memory Lane, he was not also open when he started trying to do it in Hollywood. In fact, theArrowThe actor says that he was encouraged to keep his sexual orientation secret by others in the industry if he wanted to land. Read the rest to find out why Haynes says he bowed to "go back to the closet" after being out in adolescence, on the impact that had on his mental health and on some of the other painful experiences that He shares in his book.

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In a trial for Vulture in 2021, the actor remembers the first meeting he obtainedwith a possible manager- A man he calls "Brad".

"" Why do you use your hands so much when you speak? And your posture is too ... loose, "said [Brad]." We will certainly have to change your ways. They are a little too much ... Theater, "" writes Haynes, adding his own translation: "code for gay".

He continues by saying that Brad finally diverted him, but only after asking him to participate in a sexually explicit actor course and try to attract the attention of a possible agent by presenting himself At his office in an open shirt. The reason why the manager finally gave to pour the budding actor was that his "voice" and "ways" were "too gay".

Haynes finally reserved a real representation, but he wrote in the same piece of worth that his team thought of a photo session of his past "so radioactive that he had lawyers wrapped in letters of ceasefies Everyone who published online images ". It was a spread for Gay Men's magazineXy, with a 17 -year -old Haynes and her then boyfriend.

"I understood because it was explained to me several times - by managers, agents, advertising, managers, producers - that the only thing between me and the career I wanted was that I was gay, "wrote the actor, adding that his sexuality was special concerns, because the roles for which he was considered good was in the media targeting young adults. "It is not only the heteros who are the guards - the call often comes from inside the house."

"Basically, dutygo to the cupboard Because my career has been really harmful to me, "said Haynes in a recent interview withReference. "You know, having to take movement for actors to repair my ways, and have to put post-it notes and things under my language to repair my Lisp, and have to talk about an octave lower. To be just seen but also hiding this part of ourselves, it can be really detrimental to your mental health. "

Of course, since the Internet has existed, so the Haynes team could not completely bury their old model photos. There were speculation about his sexuality amongWolf for teenagersandArrowFans before deciding to be released publicly in 2016. In response to a fan on the Tumblr social media site praising his "secret gay past", Haynes replied on his own account, as reportedOut, "Was it a secret? Let's all sit on life and we have no regrets :). ""

Magazine interviews have followed, including aOutcoverage, in which Haynes said he "felt really bad that [he] hadlie for so long"And again, said he thought he was doing what he should do to have a career.

"When you are young in this industry, people take advantage of you, and they literally tell you that your dreams will come true," he told the magazine. "If you believe that, you will do something. And you believe it, especially if you are kansas."

In his vulture test, Haynes writes that the fence has trained with problems with its mental health, as well as alcohol and drug abuse. "When a doctor suggested that my secret made me sick, I knew he was right," he said. These health problems are part of what prompted him to get out.

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InMiss Memory Lane, Haynes also shares details on his childhood, his family life and his dependence difficulties. He writes onabuse he endured From his father and an uncle, as well as the grooming relationship in which he was with an average police officer at the age of 14, as Buzzfeed reported. He also opens on forgiveness and getting closer to his mother, who suffered from alcoholism, just a few months before his death of cirrhosis in 2018. Reference , Haynes said he had alarm when he realized that he repeated some of his behavior. "I had a bottle of water filled with tequila in the left side of the tilting chair, then I had a vodka," said the actor. "And I drank from the second when I woke up in the second, I went to bed."

Haynes has now been sober for four years and told News magazine that he was "grateful" that he had been able to ask for help.

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