Here's why experts say that "micro-chess" will destroy your relationship

You think you're just an innocent flirt. But are you?


Have you ever connected a person from your favorite sex without saying to your partner? Or shared a joke on the desk with a colleague? Then you should be careful; Because what was formerly considered simply "harmless flirt" is now called "micro-cheat".

Psychologist,Dr. Barbara Greenberg Defined "Micro-Cheric"CBS like "a small series of actions that do not respond to the definition of cheat".

Melanie Schilling, a recently given Australian psychologisttheDaily mailSome examples of micro-cheating, as well as red flags to look for if you suspect that you or your partner can do it:

"You could hire in a micro-cheat if you secretly connect with another person on social media, if you share private jokes, if you minimize the severity of your relationship with your partner or if you enter their name under a Your phone code. Other things you should search for is if your partner has private conversations or online discussions he / she / she / she / she / she goes quickly when you enter the room or if they join an ex to mark a birthday or another Intimate and respondent event important. .... If [your partner] begins to conceal their relationship on your part or to lie on this subject, then start considering the relevance of their connection. It is the secret and deception that accompanies the communication that defines it as a micro-cheat. "

Greenberg agrees that it is deception that delimits it from friendship, saying, "The difference between friendship and micro-cheat are friendships are not usually kept secret, but when you talk to someone and Whether you keep the secret, which begins to respond to the definition of the definition of micro-cheat. "

How could you wonder, does it compromise a relationship? According to experts, the "micro-cheat" could be a gateway drug in a full-fledged case, some seemingly harmless texts that send you a slide in the field of true infidelity. "What is perhaps more relevant is the way in which the behavior habit is usual. A micro-sorter series could put more tension on the partner because it is not just a behavior. punctual that the couple can work in communication between them ", Susan Krauss Whitbourne, PhD, Professor of Psychology at the University of Massachusetts Amherst,GoodhouseKeeping.com.

Even if things do not progress on the actual cheating, however, the "micro-chess" can reproduce jealousy and mistrust - two of the greatest relationship killers.

"The micro-cheat generally produces a change of attitude and behavior that indicates to a partner that something strange happens", Tina B. Tessina, PhD, (AKA "Dr. Romance") Psychotherapist and author ofHow to be a couple and always be free 4th edition,RecountGoodhouseKeeping.com. "In the end, it causes jealousy and guilt that can affect its behavior and its way of thinking the partner. Without an open line of communication - and above all, trust - a relationship can suffer in the long run."

It is true that most of the above behaviors would encourage jealousy and, in many cases, serious arguments between partners andThis honesty and communication are the foundation of a healthy relationship.

Nevertheless, many people on Twitter argue that this new term hipstery is not one thing. "I'm not down with this" micro-cheze "conversation that, to me, is all about straight people who decide never having significant connections with people outside their sex for fear they will replace feelings for an "other significant]," ReporterCasey QuinlanInasmuch aswrote.

Differentiate between micro-cheat and acceptable behavior with preferred sex outside of a relationship, Dr. Schilling suggests trusting your gut. "You have the intuition for a reason and it tells you when things are not going well. If things do not add up, if you catch your partner in a lie, if they behave in an incarcerical manner, Bring it, "she said." They are essential here to be objective and rational rather than subjective and emotional. Slinging empty accusations and insults you will get anywhere. "

Perhaps instead of discussing whether or not something constitutes as "micro-cheat" or not, we should strive to simply be kind and attentive to each other, treated as we would like to be treated. If this does not happen, a conversation must then occur, that you or the behavior of your partner falls into the category above or not.

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Categories: Relationships
Tags: Cheating
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