Good Lifestyle

Nobody walks in the anticipating alley that their good union could come to an unfortunate end. But when theproblems accumulate And it seems that your relationship is no longer recoverable, divorce could be the healthiest option. At this point, the only thing to do is determine how to tell your spouse you may want a divorce.

Of course, it's not a conversation you should take lightly. In the end, if you have decided that there is absolutely no other solution, tell your partner that you want a divorce to be the first step in thelong process of canceling a wedding. To help you navigate effectively to this conversation, we asked for wedding advisors and relationships for their best advice on how to tell your spouse you want a divorce.

Make sure it's really what you want.

Open a dialog with your partner and see how they feel about the relationship. "If you think you mean to your partner, you want a divorce, the first step could be to ask your partner if he thinks the problems you encounter are so serious that you plan to divorce," says the relationship Therapist and dating expertDr. Susan Edelman.

You might be surprised to learn that they are much more open to the board or other types of therapy than you thought. In other words: "If there is something that can be corrected, the therapy is much cheaper than divorce," saysTina B. Ticina, PhD, a psychotherapist and the author ofThe Dr. Romance Guide to Find Love Today.

Choose a time when stressors are low.

To tell your partner that you want a divorce to inspire emotional responsiveness, and you want to make sure that you are in the best state of mind to answer all the questions of your spouse. It means to avoid chaotic hours afterA long day of work, as well as those before welcoming a hospitality company, head to an event or do something else that could make this conversation even more stressful than it is already, advisesVirginie Williamson, an authorized marriage and a family therapist in Fairfield, Connecticut.

Indicate why you are unhappy.

A historical study of the relationship and the marriage expertDr. John Gottman I found that many unfortunate couples are waiting for an average of six years before getting help for their problems. The research also found that often, theFirst sign a relationship is directed towards divorce Does a person stop emotionally and does not deal with relationship problems until it's too late.

Being clear about things that bothered you will validate your own feelings, while explaining to your partner why he arrived at that. "The word" divorce "often receives a lazy or disconnected spouse to train," says Tessina. "But do not threaten, it takes the power of what you say. Be calm and say" I'm not happy, and if we do not change something, I will want a divorce. "

Be firm and compassionate.

Hitting the fine balance between what you want and be compassionate to your husband or wife can be difficult when the other partner did not see that coming or want to try to make it work. This can also encircle things for the reason this conversation started - the fact that you are not on the same page.

"Try to have this unmanned conversation or blame," suggests Edelman. This is not the time to become mean or display knit picking details, it's about expressing you where you are right now.

But remember that it's your choice and once you have decided, it's correct not to talk about it in circles. "You do not have to defend yourself or your decision," says Williamson. "You do not need to be detained in hostage in conversation with your spouse justifying why you want to divorce." If you can, be as clear and rational as possible without being cold.

Get a professional's point of view.

If the divorce is something you plan, this may be useful to consult a professional, such as a therapist or family lawyer, before diving into the conversation with your spouse. "You can change your mind or you can have your decision to divorce firmly validated," saysDr. Marni Feumman, approved marriage and a family therapist in Boca Raton.

Do not attempt to control the result.

After expressed your thoughts and feelings, do you recognize that your spouse's feelings can not be aligned on your own. Do your best to hear the other person's point of view and let them react without judgment.

"Your spouse may not have thought that the end of your wedding was a possibility and may not be the place where you are emotionally," Williamson declare. "Allow them to feel everything they need and do not try to talk to them." Theend of a wedding signals a huge change of life for the two parties involved; Know that each person has the right to understand how they can (as long as this reaction does not hurt the security of the other).

Keep the border around your wedding.

Williamson advises you to maintain a certain intimacy about your decision until you can talk about how to let other know-how, to give it a minute before changing your status on social media. In this way, the opinions of others do not unlock what is already an emotional process. Once you have decided how to tell people, you can look at close friends and a family for support.

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