Good Lifestyle

Open happinesswedding. No doubt you heard about it. Or read it online - or possibly in a job of fiction possibly waterproof. But like flying cars, the under-two-hour marathon and unicorns, open marriages do not really exist, is not it? Is it really possible to find a couple who is happy together, but maintains good healthsex Life outside of their own bed?

It turns out that you can. More and moreevidence Assembly that today's couples open their rooms to other sexual partners and they find their relationshipsstronger for that. So we joined several experts at the top of the relationship for their tips to make an open relationship - or an open marriage - actually work. So, if you already wonder "make open marriages", read it. And for more ways to make sure your wedding is solid, try theseStrategies to make your wedding last forever.

"For an open marriage or a successful relationship, it is absolutely essential that the two main partners accept 100%," saysCHRISTEE LOZANO, Approved marriage and family therapist specializing in sex and relationships. "Ontimes, there may be a partner who wants him much more than the other, and this increases the likelihood of conflict and resentment in the future." If a half is not on board, here are some ways toSpice your own sex life.

"Clear, direct and frequent communication will or will break an open relationship," saysAngie Gunn, LCSW, a sex-, trauma and therapist in relation to Portland, Oregon. "The communication subjects move a lot depending on the opening phase of you," she adds. Generally, she advises you are talking aboutWHAT OPENING Exactly you want your relationship to either, what will be the structure, and exactly how much you want to know about the other partners of your spouse. It's also a good idea to set up regular "check-ins" to talk about what you have done about dating and make sure you feel like you all the way in the way things happen. And talking about communication, here is theThe sexiest things you can ever say to a woman.

If you are wondering "Working on open marriages", you will want to do some research. In the same way as you make a ton of research before deciding the car, camera or computer to buy, it's better not going to an open wedding or an open relationship without knowing what you are entering. Talk to others who did it and play reading on the subject. "I strongly recommend people to read some of the amazing books on the subject such asOpeningWhereMore than two,"said Gunn. It would not hurt to know some of theBest meetings of meetings available.

Everything about borders, people. Negotiation and discussion are really the key before opening your wedding, says Gunn. "Throughout these conversations, you can identify antipersonnas mines, sensitivities and areas that need additional support. Although you can not ensure all worries, fears or uncertainties, you can offer Strategies to help your partner heard, supported and ability through the opening process. "Have clear land rules arealso essential if you want to go out with your colleague.

"Several times, a partner wants to have an open relationship so that they can have relationships with other people, but are not prepared when their partner begins to engage in relationships with others, also explainsSanga blue, LCSW, a sexuality and relationship therapist. It is therefore better to really think about how you will feel about your spouse with romantic interactions with others before jumping at full speed. "It's a standard double that can create a lot of jealousy and could possibly end a wedding," she adds. For more good relationships, here isThe secrets of the best relations.

If you are already married, it is likely that you would see some value in the wedding concept (hope!), But many people have variable ideas about what the wedding is "supposed". "You must examine the assumptions of both partners on what" marriage "is defined as in their mind," saysLisa Bahar, a marriage therapist and the approved family practicing in California. Understand what every spouse expects marriage and have a specific idea of ​​everyone's point of view makes the process of setting up an open marriage, understand why this happens and maintains it much easier. Although you probably had to have hadThis conversation (and others) before you get married.

One way to be sure to be sure your open wedding does not work? Do the alternative divorce. "It's not cool for you to say," If we're going to stay together, you'll have to give me sexual freedom, "saysRobert Weiss, LCSW, an expert in infidelity and dependence. Do not do that. And if you even consider divorcing, you should know howSmart men never break.

Better sure that sorry, right? "STD protection, where each partner plans to meet new partners and other security issues should be discussed in advance," said Susan de Luca, LCSW, an individual, couples and a family therapist in private practice. Although it may not be the most fun thing to talk about, it is important to ensure that each partner goes on their non-primary relationships so as to make any other type of danger. And for a kind of security of the different room, here isWhat you should never tell a naked woman.

It's not because you expect your open wedding to be in a way, it certainly does not mean it's certainly how it will be better or worse. "Be open to the fact that things are different in reality that they are in theory," saysPage, a relations coach who specializes in non monogamous clientele. "Sometimes it means you were afraid of something going on and you're thick, it's not so big problem. Sometimes it's the opposite. You can have problems that you have never anticipated. " This is one of those moments where you go just have to go with the flow. Also, consult theseTwenty-five ways to improve your sexual performance.

Although it is not necessary, it can make the transition to close to open much more easily. "Seeing a therapist can facilitate the creation of a solid set of rules and boundaries, an open expression of their concerns and the understanding of which potential conflicts can occur," says Lozano. Doing this with a qualified professional can help the couple worry about the concerns to be missed. She also notes that a therapist can gently challenge a couple to think about whether the two parties are truly on board, which is essential for the success of open marriage. And here are someMore good reasons to seek marital advice.

"Another useful tip to do an open marriage job is to discuss what the protocol is if a border is crossed by one or both main partners," says Lozano. For example, you may have settled the rule that you do not want to answer other partners from your spouse, but you accidentally run them. What are you doing?! "It can be beneficial to discuss this in advance so that both partners can be proactive and prepare for the management of border passers-by," she explains.

Having friends who are in the same boat can make the world of difference, says Turner. "Join online forums or find meetings. Get to know these people. They are good social support, and you can learn a lot from watching other people to navigate similar problems," she says.

If you can not wait to have "controls" with your spouse, they will be easier to pass and much more likely to happen. "Check-ins do not have to be all intended and severely. Many couples have found success by endearing to something that benefits: the treatment of the relationship during a good dinner or drinks, or combined with The zoo or on a beautiful walk of nature. Something that is a treat for you, "she says. In this way, you will be happy to have these conversations instead of redoupeting them.

It may seem better to stay in all the bad feelings you have about to be open, but Bahar says they could potentially make snowball and cause major problems. "Communicate about feelings related to jealousy, abandonment or envy," she advises. "Talk about what works and does not work and why. Be willing to see the advantages and disadvantages of being open." After all, no situation is perfect, but be able to see and discuss both the good and the bad in your relationship will strengthen your link with your spouse.

All weddings or open relationships are not open forever. "The possibility of this should be carefully discussed as rules and borders are taken before opening the marriage," says Lozano. In this way, if one of you wants to close the open wedding, you will already have a game plan in place to know how to do it.

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