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23 things he does not tell you (according to men)
You can be surprised by things that guys tend to lie.
Men are notthis mysterious. Frankly, trying to read in what your masculine partner says or only overload things ... most of the time. The truth is, there are some important cases in which men can be lower than those of other significant people. The way they feel about yourtelephone habits In the truth about this "friend" of theirs, these are the things that men do not admit, but they certainly feel, think and are behind your back.
1 He sometimes feels rejected.
Men are used to trying nothing too seriously. However, there are times when he could actually feel rejected, despite the reduction of this usual air of apathy.
"Do not you tell you when it feels like that because it has no precedent to do it - and might not even record it fully and label it", suggestsMark Borg Jr., Doctorate, psychologist and psychoanalyst and author ofDo not be a d ***: Change yourself, change your world. Yes, your boyfriend or spouse could not even consciously record these feelings of rejection - and therefore, these repressed feelings could manifest itself as anger directed against you.
2 He sometimes feels solitary too.
Just as he is not going to tell you that he felt rejected, "he is not going to tell you that he is alone," says Borg. "There is novocabulary To tell you that, since the children have grown up and the group of friends you have spent as much time out with less reason to exist, it does not do so well to maintain itsAdult friendships. It is embarrassed that it looks like people might not love him and even more embarrassed he finds himself "shy" and reluctant to reach out to other men ".
If you fear your spouseis lonelyBorg suggests working on ways to open it. "Maybe he needs support and encouragement to reach out."
3 It's afraid to open up to you.
Part of the problem is that many men have trouble talking about thatfeeling of solitude, according toJacob brown, a psychotherapist in Marin County, California. "They may even have trouble saying their partner of this secret loneliness, fearing that they are judged or their partner will want to solve the situation," he says.
4 He has so much angry that you are on your phone.
We live in a multi-screen time, where looking atsomething on television is usually accompanied by occasional scrolling throughsocial media. But even if it's the reality of the world today, it does not mean that men are not always irritated secretly when you spend most of your time together on your phone.
In aRed string About "What little things that women do or say it hurts your feelings, but you do not let it show," said several men than the time their spouses spent on their phone were a major source of irritation.
"Sitting together to watch a movie or show that I am super-horny to find that it is on his phone half the time Trawling Facebook," saidA REDIT user In response to the question. Anotherplayful, "That's basically," I would prefer to do something else. "
5 He upsets him when you are not focusing on his mistakes.
We are a long way from theLet the beaver leaves days of traditional gender roles and guys are not likely to complain about having to have toShare tasks around the house. However, your boyfriend or husband always wants to be admired for his efforts - or at least, not realized when he forgets to do a little thing.
AsA User on Reddit Put it, "Cleans the kitchen, aspirate, make the bed, take the dog on a super long walk,do the xyz project-whatever the project around the house She asked me to do all my own account or because I like doing something for her. But finally, forgetting to throw a subset of meat that has been in the refrigerator too long becomes [the] metric by which I am judged. It's actually a little bad. "
6 He does not like being stereotyped.
Speaking of guys who do their part around the house,stereotypes Regarding tasks for men and who are also for women under the skin of men too.
"I hate when people suppose because I'm the husband working I'm not doing anything," wroteA REDIT user. "I cook meals, pick up kids of daycares,to do the laundry, do the cleaning. "AnotherChemical user in: "When my children were younger ... Women refer to me for them as" babysitting ". It's not kept if it's your own children. You are a father."
7 He has some secret crushes.
Most men also wear secret crushes. It's probably nothing serious, and that does not mean it's less in love with you, but there is almost certainly someone who gets him acting flirting and more friendly than usual.
"Men often develop secret croutings," says Brown. "But, if they talk about it, then it becomes a problem,something that needs to be discussed. They know it's harmless and that the crumple will fade and speaking will only know the pleasure. "
8 He has a friend or colleague who was originally an object of his affection.
Do you know that his man's friend's wife is just the full package? Yes, chances are that he used to host feelings for her. "Many men are attracted by their attractive friends and may have even begun friendship as an angle to have a date with that person," saysDavid Bennett, a certified advisor, a relationship expert and co-author of seven pounds. "It does not mean they will act on their feelings, of course."
9 This "friend" of his is actually his ex.
Whether it is because they want to protect your feelings or just avoid an argument, men are not opposed toremote half truths when it comes to their exès.
"Many guys will be friends (especially on social media) with people with whom they have a romantic story with, but they can minimize it to their partners," Bennett said. "Oh, she's just a friend" could really mean, "I met him on Tinder a few weeks before our meeting and we always have a message from time to time with sexual tension." "
10 It always has luggage from its previous relationships.
Nobody wants to hear a bunch of sobs on the execes of a person on the first date, but as a relationship relies, it becomes more important than the two partners to share details about their previous romantic experiences and the how they shaped the person they are currently. However, that does not mean that the average man reallyIs Disclose such information. Men usually find easier to avoid the subject, especially if they have been dropped or have been injured in one way or another.
11 It always checks Facebook from its ex.
"There is probably not to tell you how often he checks the social media pages of his ex," says Borg. If you find out that this is the case, however, do not assume automatically that he is still in love with his last lover. If the break was bad, he could just take a look around another reason ...
12 And he always compares his life at theirs.
Sometimes men goKeep tabs on their exes Just to compare himself to the guy who filled their shoes. And unfortunately, it is likely that he also compared his current life - that is to say with that of his former flame.
"He's not going to tell you how he compares to new friends, husbands, etc., and that sometimes compares to you and your family (including children, pets, what can be seen) to life His ex "said Borg. "And he isabsoutely Do not tell you when he thinks what he continued is not measured and how he feels that. "
13 It also compares everyone too.
It's not just the life of his ex that he compared. Guys naturally boil their success and personal progress on how they dress alongside others in their orbit as friends, family andcoworkers. In some cases, this can be a healthy thing, inspiring a man to improve; but also often, it can be aunhealthy habit It only means appreciating something when others do not have it.
14 He drinks more than he cowards.
There are certainly times when the consumption of your partner hadmanner uncontrollable. But do you have knowledge of these moments? Doubtful.
"Many guys will minimize some of theirbad habits, as how much they had to drink when they came out with their friends, "says Bennett." Some guys will even continue bad habits (likesmoking) After telling their partners, they stop smoking. "
15 Things have a little crazy about this Bachelor festival.
Men are experts on compartmentalization and, although they have probably behaved for most of this weekend of the Bachelor party or the guy evening, there is a good chance that you do not have Not the complete truth of what has been discussed or done. Whether it's been drinking or about this dancing round, there are things that are just a little more fun when they stay something with a secret.
16 He does it without you more often than you think.
As the proverb says, there are two types of men: those who masturbate and those whogo to bed about it. No guys should spread their masturbation habit, but if he implies that heneverRather, is probably likely to sell you a letter of goods.
"Watching porn is a hidden pleasure for many men," says Brown. "They do not want to talk to their partner about it because it's personal. If they talk about it with their partner, it becomes part of the relationship rather than something that is only their own. And they do not maybe not to admit that frequently they do it. "
17 He wants more attention.
Guys are not supposed to be those looking to be worn carefully,fathers above all. But while it's not going to say, your man wants to be the center of attention from time to time.
"Although he loves your devotion to children, he sometimes feels left out", saysRabbi shlomo slatkinAn authorized clinical professional advisor and a certified Imago Consult therapist who runs private marriage pensions. "It's your full partner of parenting, but he does not want to compete for the attention of Supermom."
18 He also likes good things.
While women often become stereotyped as those who love beautiful things, guys are fans of material items too and take so much pleasureWell selected gifts. Whether it's a beautiful fountain feather, a leather newspaper, or a new fun gadget, such objects can trigger a high level of satisfaction in a man, perhaps more than he will never admit.
19 He likes to feel appreciated.
Everyone loves to feel appreciated. And while your man could put a stoic forehead, it means a lot for him when youExpress your gratitude And let him know that his efforts do not go unnoticed. "He wants to know that you appreciate it for everything he does for you. He wants to know that you are appreciated for whom he is", "says Slatkin.
He urges people to keep in mindDr. John Gottman's 5: 1 ratio Positive interchange in successful marriages in which each negative comment is balanced by five positive. "Although we can feel so busy by the list of life we forget to express our appreciation, we seem to find the time to share a complaint or frustration with our spouse," says Slatkin. "Try to sculpt a few minutes every day before you sleep where you share with your husband what you enjoy and why."
20 Its sense of value is attached to providing you.
"If your husband is currently out of charge andYou meet tensions in your relationshipIt's not surprising why, said Slatkin. He needs you to understand how difficult it is for him when he can not provide because it looks like a failure. When you are worried about your financial situation, it makes it feel worse because it has dropped you. Realize that money is an extremely charged problem for both of you. Any discussion on the subject will be more fluid if you are able to be more sensitive and focus on crunchy figures instead of fighting fears. "
21 He is overwhelmed and frightened to show it.
"Life can be very scary," says Brown. "We are constantly confronted with important decisions (jobs, houses, partners) and obliged to cope with important responsibilities (supporting our family, taking care of aging parents, to execute a household). It can all feel overwhelming. And rather than sharing their fears with our partner, men often think they have to push their fear only show confidence and strength. "
22 He hates how do you teasing sometimes?
Relationships are supposed to have friendly teasing. However, a guy will never let go when some of these so-called cheerful remarks you do arego under your skin.
"When you make a joke on how he does not find anything, that he does not listen to what you say, or that he is a hermit, he does not find it funny," says Slatkin. "When you criticize it in public, it feels shameful. After a while, these remarks are starting to keep his trust away in you as a loving partner."
23 He loves you.
This is something that every man should say more than he does. Express an affection does not come as naturally to some men as for others.
"You are his world, even if you may not think it. He does not always have an easy time expressing his feelings or share verbally, although he shows you in another way," says Slatkin. "Although you may prefer a hug or attachment words, he can demonstrate his love when he buys your favorite snack or tondes the lawn." And if you want to show him that you like it too, behold, here's40 ways of being a better woman after 40 years.