Good Lifestyle

You have seen yourThe brothers and sisters cross all kinds of waves and low Over the years and shared a lot of good times and not - so good times together. But while you are probably feeling that you probably do not be anything you could not share with your brothers or sisters, there are a few things that it might be wise to avoid. Whether it's not creating unnecessary tension in your relationship or make sure you do not hurt their feelings, these are the worst things to tell your brothers and sisters, according to experts.

Council of Brothers and Sisters Can often be precious and appreciated - for many, their brothers and sisters are the first people with whom they go with questions about what they should do in difficult situations. But it's typically that when the notice is requested. Provide your suggestions on how they should proceed when they share their concerns are unlikely to be appreciated - and in some cases, could actually damage the relationship.

"When you talk about your brothers and sisters, resist the urge to tell them what they should or should not do," says the approved marriage and the family therapistRachel McCrickard, founder and CEO ofMotivo. "Do not forget that you can not control the thoughts, feelings and actions of others. You are only responsible for what you say, and how do you say it."

Criticism, which is often difficult for the recipient to distinguish - and is not likely to move well.Be honest With your brothers and sisters, it's vital, but that does not mean that you have to get accusers or criticism of the choices they make or what they do with their lives.

"Avoid criticism," says marriage and family therapist authorizedSofia Robiosa, author ofThe wedding company. "If you do not like something that your sister does, express how it makes you feel using a statement from 'I'.

Full ofYounger brothers and sisters admire their older brothers and sisters (and sometimes vice versa). But while it's great to admire those who are closest to you, it's a lot less healthy to compare yourself in order to put you or to put it out. Saying things like: "Your job is so better than mine" or "I should exercise as much as you do", put yourself and puts your brother's brother in an uncomfortable position.

"The comparison of the division creates relations," says Robirosa. "This creates the message that we are superior and that does not promote proximity."

Discuss finances In general terms with your brothers and sisters, is inevitable, whether discussions to buy a house or get an increase at work. But spending an excessive time of time talking about money can create an awkwardness and even a resentment, especially if there is a major divergence between the way each brother sister wins.

As one of the people closest to your brothers and sisters, you should focus your conversations onhelp build them and encourage them. So when they perform something or express the pride of certain aspects of their life, your energy should go to the trumpet of their success, not throwing cold water.

"Say things like:" It's not a big deal "or" you would do that still "demove your brothers and sisters," says Robirosa. "In relations, we want to be favorable and cheerleaders of those we love and celebrate the achievements are part of that, even if you do not think it's a big problem what they did."

Considering how long you have spent together and how do you know yourself, it is inevitable that you would have heard a lot ofThe best jokes of your brothers and sisters or anecdotes. But although it's going to let them know you know where their joke goes if they said a few times, try tobe politeabout that. In addition, as you get older - and your possibilities to go out or even chatting on the phone become more limited - you will enjoy more others and should be more likely to forgive a familiar story.

You are busy. Your brothers and sisters are busy. But that's why it's so important when one of them succeeds you do not brush them, but you embrace the possibility of catching up. Especially since you get older and opportune to spend time with each other becomes more and more rare, you should take every opportunity that you have to enjoy their business or conversation. Instead of saying, "I do not have time right now," You should say, "It's so happy to have your news."

You probably share a lot of updates on what's going on in your life with your brothers and sisters - good, bad and everything between the two. But while your brothers or sisters are often the best to share your pain, if you have a feature of a few weeks, you should be sensitive to their situation when you decide to share.

"Maybe you have bad news that you want to share with a brother as you need a surgical procedure, have lost your job or had to file a bankruptcy," says the psychiatristVinay saranga, MD, founder ofSaranga Full Psychiatry. "Be careful what information you share with people and make sure they are emotionally stable before doing it. If someone feels that someone can handle what you have to say, then go ahead. Otherwise, he Perhaps might be better to wait for things to settle again. "

Each family has disagreements and some may have hurt yourself or your brothers and sisters. But while it is important that all parties like their feelings and everyone feels like having been heard, everyone must agree to forgive and forget. What you do not want to do is trot the old family disputes for any other reason than hurting or expressing your own wound in progress.

"Renator of these hurtful and past memories do not make any good," says Saranga.

Reema Beri, PhD, a certified clinical psychologist atGreat Lakes Psychology Group, echoes this point. "Although there is a validity and utility to talk about your problems, the disclosure of your compilation of all their slight perceived will not give up anything but feel worse," she says.

There may be something you keep from your brother and tell them, whether you are your chest or correct a false belief that the family has worked. These are noble motivations, of course, but if you have aThe major secret you feel should be sharedeverything is in the timing.

"Do not confess a big secret breathing right now," says Saranga. "Maybe you secretly did something hurting your brother in the past you want to come nearby. [But] is not really time. If you want to get it out of your chest once and for All, wait for things to install you down. Many people are not at best emotionally right now and adding to thestress and pressures they already feel Could cause them to take what you need to share even stronger. "

You have probably grown to tease everything from what you wear to the music you have listened to. But while teasing are often an expression of affection between people who really know each other, there are things it's not a good idea to make fun of someone pretty much, even if he comes from a place of love.

"Do not make fun of your brothers and sisters for their concerns about health and safety," says Saranga, stressing that this is true if someone was worried about a strange skin rash or taupe that is suddenly appeared - Or, of course, if they appeared.feel unusually anxious because of the current Covid-19 pandemic. "Some people take this virus more seriously than others. If someone wants to wear a mask, gloves and stay with complete isolation in these times, it's their decision. Do not make fun of anyone for that, without Talking about your own brothers and sisters. It simply adds to the emotional stress they already feel. "

Even if you and your brothers and sisters have the same parents, your relationship with them could be very different, and you could also have very different ideas about what they need in terms of care and health. A pediment might think that yourParents need a lot more health help that other brothers and sisters. In these situations, it is important to remember that everyone has in mind the best interests of your parents and not to reject the views of others.

"Do not say," Mom can take care of herself. She knows what she does, "said McCrickard." Say rather, "Let's decide together what messages we want to communicate to mom." "

Of course, each family has its particular dynamic and, inevitably, there is a little favoritism of the parents who pay particular attention to a child or to another resentment of resentment or jealousy in his wake. But as you get older and become adults, it is important that brothers and sisters take a greater responsibility for their own feelings and their sense of self. Rather than digging a brother or a sister for getting the attention or support of your parents in the past, you should focus your energy on how to Create a stronger relationship with your brother in the present.