Good Lifestyle

Between 6 and 12 years old, your child is at school all day in an environment you basically a little control. Teach it to be non-violent, to be a problem solver, managing relationships with other children and make good decisions while still thinking you have all the answers.

Think about the role play as a building karaoke - ideal to help teach your child strategies to resist the prejudicial pressure of peers. Make a family party: order pizza, get all the brothers and sisters in the game and distribute the pieces. Then, follow these steps.

• Let your child be the bad guy. Ask him to offer you drugs or an invitation to a minor kilicoman. Teach him to "know his no." Answer his invitation in four different ways. Aggressively: "No question, are you crazy?" Passively: "Uh, I do not know. Not really." Judgment: "No, and you should not." Refined: "No. I do not want to do that." Ask your child who would work better. The answer is the assertive response because it ends the pressure. If your child answers, "I do not think I can say that," ask what he could say or do.

• Ask him for modeling you. Tighten a complete mirror. Present the bad habit and ask yourself to look at you say no. Encourage it to get upright, make a visual contact, to say it quickly and finish with a positive spin disarmament ("No, but I'll see you at the game, right.").

• Suggest tracking. Learn how to follow "no" with creative substitution activities.

If your child blows his duties of mathematics, it could be because she is lazy. But do not tell him that. "Criticism can destroy relations," says Larry Koenig, Ph.D., author ofIntelligent discipline: fast and sustainable solutions for your child's self-esteem and peace of mind. "When you try to correct a behavior, you have to stick to the facts and keep your emotional judgment in check." With that in mind, your script may seem like this: "I notice that you have not done your duty. Is there a reason? Can you help me think of a way to do your homework? Rather What to alienate your child, you have shown it that you pay attention and be careful.

Teach your child to respect the possessions you give him can cause confidence and help the pride of the seed family. The best tool: a collection of stamps, coins or baseball cards. Start small and make it fun. Try to collect the 50 states neighborhoods, or maps for your child's favorite baseball team players. Show it how to store and take care of the articles in its collection and explain that they can increase value over time. Allow it to add more valuable items, until you feel almost as if you could trust him with the autographed Jackie Robinson Primary that your father gave you, or that 1899 Liberty head a dollar money on your library of your grandfather. Almost.

Some paternity tasks are difficult; This one is easy. Pass extravagant gifts, which only put you in the positionable position to surpass it on your next trip. More important is to be used to touching the base once a day. "You do not have to say a lot," says Anthony Wolf, a child's psychologist and author ofMom, Jason's breathing on me: the solution to the frontal rivalry.

They can more easily make a connection when they know trends, features, fears, tastes, fears, tastes and how the child is affected by the circumstances of life, such as having a sick disease or A grandparent of the house. They will be more patients with "slow" beginners; more tolerant to "curious" questions of the rules; more efficient in the pipeline of "energetic" children in productive activities; better able to convert "obstinacy" into perseverance; And more likely to refrain from converting unintentionally "timid" children into fearful adults. Inform his teachers of important life events and academic problems that you notice.

The role play gives your child tools - and words - to lower the boiling point of playing field intimidation. Find a moment you and your child can act some ugly situations. Here is a checklist.

• Lake a joke. Humor releases many intimidation situations, but you will have to work in the lingo gap that exists between you and your child's peers. Suggest some fun feedback and let it be translated into children.

• Toddlers settled. To annoy the fans of a fire from bullying, but you can not just warn a pretena of tenderness. Show your child deeply breathe; He throws an emotional answer to aggression. If your child does not collapse to a taunt, this can make an intimidation of a strategy in your face.

• Make a statement. Work a few ways to tell a bullying that you do not want to fight (like "one of us will be suspended - I will not beat you"). If nothing else, the witnesses can attest to who was the aggressor.

• Dissect the conflict. Talk from time spent when your child has been mocked. Listen to the stories from the beginning, without interrupting. Help your child see where these tools could have been applied.

• Strengthen confidence. Make them martial arts classes. The real power behind the martial arts such as karate and kung-fu does not come from a roton kick to the solar plexus (as practical), but rather of their philosophies of non-aggression. "They teach respect," says Koenig. "Research shows that, in this case, martial arts improve the self-esteem of a child and the way it is carried away - two weaknesses an intimidating home when selecting a target." In fact, a study by the University of Florida of the Atlantic of 189 children aged 7 to 13 found that those with great self-confidence were less likely to be picked than their less confident peers.

You look to your age of 8 who complains about how his older older brother hung his robot dog on the window and said, "Wow, it sounds like a problem for both of you." And then leave. You do not 'Listen to any other side and you do not act as moderator. Unless one of your children is suspended at the window, you do not say a word, because as soon as you are involved, they are no longer interested in Finding a solution, they are interested in putting yourself on their side. If they continue to harmony you, tell them if it becomes uncontrolled, you will enter and they might not like what you decide. Stay with your vicious neutrality, And they will soon learn that this advocating their case is unsuccessful. A non-responsibility: this approach will not end the fighting in your house. You are stuck with that. Stay strong and simply reduce the stress of being stuck in the middle of the decrease.

With regard to an unknown death like death, your children will take their signals from you. "Do not do that this great tragic mystery," says Councilor Naomi Aldon, Ph.D., author ofRaise our children, we raise us. "Keep it open and honest and Benin." This does not mean that you should not cry, but you might also try to hold a celebration ritual to honor the life of the deceased, whether the grandfather or Gregory Red Fish.

Start by asking your son what he already knows, "said Justin Richardson, Mr.D., Assistant Professor of Psychiatry of Columbia University and CoauthorAll you have never wanted your children to know sex (but feared to ask). After all, the point of these discussions should not inform the children of the basics of the sexual film, television and advertising, advertising is a large part of that. The goal is to fill the whites, and that's where many parents go wrong. "They are afraid to answer the question of their children for fear of too early information," says Mark Schuster, Mr.D., Ph.D., Pediatric Professor at UCLA and Richardson's Coauthor. "But if you do not know their questions, they will learn about answers elsewhere - of their peers and the Internet - and they may not come back to you with critical questions during their adolescence." A preteen will probably not ask too many questions about sex. "The big problem for this age is puberty," said Richardson, adding that you will want to explain such problems that erections, ejaculation, wet dreams and why he suddenly manages hair everywhere. Your son will probably not really ask this topic directly about it, so it's up to you to choose the subject. It is also important that you do not focus solely on the potential consequences of the transmission of sexual disease, unexpected pregnancy, etc. Although these are important to emphasize, it is equally important to strengthen sex as a positive experience, says Richardson. "Children will hear how much it is supposed to be of their friends, so if you explain only the negatives, you will lose all credibility."

The best way to learn that money is to gain experience with the real thing. For most children, it means an allowance. Instead of just forcing during Friday's money, transform it into a teaching tool. Define an hour and a place for the transaction, for example, Friday, 6 m. Sharp, at the kitchen table. An appointment emphasizes that it is not a frivolous affair. Give a specific amount every week and ask for a weekly accounting of your children's finances. How much is the piggy bank? How much has been spent in last week? Where did the money go?

The goal is to teach your children in which way an understandable company of personal finance, whatever the scale, can increase purchasing power. Ask them to define savings targets for purchases at the bottom of the road, a new iPad, a wakeboard - and keep written stories of the recorded quantity and quantity more needed. Consider setting aside a weekly percentage for charitable donations - a church, cooking soup, an environmental group, perhaps. Point the results - You should not leave an empathic child to affect half of the local animal shelter allowance - but gives them a lot of real decision on their personal finances.

Dad wants the best for their children, but often they go to the sea in their ambition and get it very badly, says David J. Bredehoft, Ph.D., President of the Department of Social and Behavioral Sciences of the University Concordia, in Saint-Paul, Minnesota. "Parents who ruin their children want, but they give too many things: too many things or too much love or too much freedom," says the co-author ofHow much do you need?, a book on love and discipline balance. "To spoil our children does not make them happy; it makes them very unhappy." Well rounded children and content have firm but democratic parents, "says Bredehoft.

Excessive children do not learn a lot of skills in the life they need to become fully working, happy adults. They tend to have an increased feeling of personal importance, as well as they have money management problems, relationship problems, mediocre conflict resolution skills, difficulties in taking responsibility for their actions and decision-making problems. And it's cyclical: when an overwitch child becomes a parent, he believes he can not control the behavior of his child and he is not responsible for that. It feels incompetent as a parent because it effectively lacks the skills of parents.

The biggest problem seems to be overestimated, which is when parents give their children too much attention and do things for them that children should do for themselves, "says Bredehoft. For example, parents do not just sign their university-age children for courses, but also in interviews with their children with recruiters. The other type of surdibility is a soft structure, which is when parents do not have rules or do not apply rules, such as a curfew, and do not allow children to learn skills By doing housework.

Ask yourself four questions: (1) What does I mean to interfere with the development of my child? (2) Does this cause a disproportionate amount of family resources (money, time, attention) to spend on one or more of my children? (3) Am I doing it to enjoy, the adult, more than my child? (4) Could it potentially harm my child or others, including myself? Any answer "Yes" suggests that you may need to make modifications: place a time limit on television. Pick up the child his room instead of doing it for him. Establish rules for how things will be treated, rules that have consequences. A balance between structure and discipline is the key to extinguishing a well-adjusted person who can handle the challenges of life.

"Divorced parents are often too afraid of disciplining their children for fear of damaging their relationship with them, says Valerie Maholmes, Ph.D, a Child and Behavior Development Program Manager at the National Institute of the National Institute of the National Institute health of children and human development. " But taking a maintenance approach is a mistake. If your child never teaches appropriate social behavior, that the inadequacy can affect adulthood. "

The key is to find a balance, one in which the punishment decreases both the attraction of the offense and strengthens your link with your children. If your daughter is a time of delay, talk about why she is late and what message her behavior sends. Then the sentence at one hour of work of the court - like your assistant, of course. This last part is the key. "Bad conduct is often a way of a child to respond to the feelings of alienation of a parent or divorce in general," said Maholmes. "But taking the time to connect with it and establish basic rules will keep open communication lines."