The 10 biggest reasons why men cheat

Here is the difficult truth about his infidelity.


It is no longer secret that men are much more likely to deceive their partners than women. If you need proof of this - and you probably do not consider that the vast majority of Ashley Madison's 37 million "active" users have been extremely masculine. (As,99,9999999% male.And, more recently, a2015 Yugov Survey found that 21% of men (compared to 19% of women) had actually admitted toCheating in the past. But the question remains: why do men cheat?

Does a "Y" chromosome guarantees biologically that we are all condemned to life like terrible shaking? Or is infidelity a more nuanced law towards psychological complexity? After all, "people do not just wake up one day and say," You know, I want to deceive my spouse today, "saysMeredith Shirey, MS, LMFT, the director of practice of New YorkRelational Counseling Manhattan and Psychotherapy. As with all things love andlustIt's often complicated.

With that in mind, we contacted experts at the top of the relationship to bring together the main reasons why men cheat and become at the bottom of this complicated situation.

Top reasons why men cheat

man spotted cheating - why men cheat
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1. An ex returns to the picture.

It is the story as old as time: the one who escaped. "A lot of times we are in a difficult point in our current relationship," Shirey, "we tend to disqualify the property."

And when an ex watch, "we remember this spark." You have a situation where he ignores the good parts of his current relationship and ignoring the bad parties - the parties who have probably led to the break from the first place - his former relationship. It's a recipe for the disaster.

2. He wants to go out.

His partner may think that the relationship is all fisheries and sauce; He may think otherwise - and not have the courage to confront his other half about it. "One of the reasons people cheat is because it's a change pulse," saysKristen Mark, PhD, Director of the Laboratory for the Promotion of Sexual Health of the University of Kentucky. "Have this momentum is necessary for some people to get out of the relationship they find hard to go out." Think of it as the ultimate "it's not you, it's me" - something you should not do.

3. A bad judgment and a will are at fault.

"You are more likely to put you in a situation where infidelity could happen if you are not happy with your relationship," says Mark. That you agree to shoot tequilas in a club with your friends - or, even more dangerous, agree with a happy hour with this new cute colleague in the accounting of people who are engaged and satisfied with Their relation avoid these scenarios. If he actively decides and repeatedly to dialogue in risky situations, something happens. "People know the consequences ofinfidelity, says Mark. "It's not a secret. He makes couples tears."

4. His needs are not met.

Get your head of the gutter; We are not talking about sexual needs. "It's something that few things lead over time," says Shirey. Maybe someone has complimentedA new haircutAnd his partner has not done this for a while. "Things flourish from there."

Maybe it wasfighting weeks. Or maybe it has been too long since he and his partner shared a laugh. Maybe he feels ignored and neglected. Whatever the reason, there is a deficit in the relationship that has reinforced emotional disconnection. And instead of tackling the head of the problem, thoughts derive to: "Rachel does that for me and my wife does not do it."

5. He feels depressed or anxious.

Everyone experiences depressed feelings and anxiety to a certain extent. The question is whether these thoughts come from the relationship. "If he felt alone in his relationship, emasculated in one way or another, or angry with his partner," saysLaurel Steinberg, Phd, a New York-based relations therapist and Professor of Psychology at Columbia University, this could certainly lead a man to cheat. However, "it is important to note that cheating [tends to] exacerbate anxiety and existing depression." Thus, the circle remains uninterrupted.

6. The evolution is to blame.

There is this old adage, where every man wants to sleep with as many women as possible - "spread his seed," so to speak - and every woman wants to find a companion - "Lacez-it. We are writers, not evolving psychologists and can not hope to speak about the truth of this thought, so we will leave Shirey take away: "There are theories of evolutive psychology. The theory is that, because the Women only have a breeding chance Once a month, they tend to be much more discriminating in the choice of a partner. While men can have a lot of a breeding chance every time they ejaculate. "

7. He has potential psychopathic trends.

As Shirey mentioned, most people do not wake up with the malicious intention of betraying or harming their partner. Well, most. "Maybe it's a personality disorder or is deeply anti-social or have narcissistic trends," says Shirey. Whatever reason, "they need to address themselves." Until this happens, this man will hurt anytime and everyone romantically involved with him. To run.

8. There are problems.

"We found that men with higher propensity for what we call" sex inhibition because of the threat of performance concerns "" - do it hard, keep it hard,that sort of thing- "are more likely to engage in infidelity," says Mark. This amounts to a need for validation; If he can not play with his other important, is it less man? An easy way to counter these feelings of inadequacy is to try to find a physical connection with someone again.

9. He is addicted to sex.

"In very few instances, there are people who have legitimate sexual addiction," Shirey says. Sex triggers Dopamine receptors - the brain's pleasure center. And like any other thing that triggers the dopamine - see: cocaine, heroin - it can be an addiction. For some people, dopamine activates more sex than other things. "Many people are trying to use it as an outgoing cop," Shirey said. Guys, do not do that. Do not forget: "Very few instances."

10. He is a total ass.

Or use another terms of the brand, it suffers from a "sexual inhibition due to the threat of consequences for performance". It's just a fantasy way to say that he is not afraid of the consequences of sex - like being an IST, to impregnate someone, or say, to getcaught cheat-And it is more likely to cheat. And it will probably continue to deceive even if it has already been exploded for that.

As Mark adds: "These are much more powerful predictors for men than for women."

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