20 surprising things that can cheat someone
This is probably more complex than pure carnal desire.
Infidelity is one of theThe most painful things You can experiment in a relationship. Everyone knows it. And yet, men and women continue to cheat all the time: a recentYugov's poll revealed that a full fifth (21% of men and 19% of women) of the adult American population deceived a partner. (And that does not take into account those who have cheated but who will never admit, a figure that even science can not measure.)
But the question remains: what drives these people to cheat? Common knowledge could suggest that it is nothing more than pure carnal desire, but often the situation is much more complex. From financial stability to personality deficits to and surely, it will be useful for a surprise childhood environment, there are countless factors. Here's what experts suggest looking for. And for a real story of infidelity, see what happened when aBride read the texts related to the chest of the groom aloud to his wedding.
1. There is a considerably income disparity
According to an intriguing American sociological associationto study As of 2015, people are more likely to cheat when their partners are better than they are financially. "You would think that people would not want to" bite the hand that feeds them ", so to speak, but that's not what my research shows," saidChristine L. Munsch, the main author of the study and the professor of deputy sociology at the University of Connecticut, in a press release. "Instead, the results indicate people like feeling relatively equal in their relationships. People do not like to feel dependent on another person."
2. They want to be a better partner
A study conducted byAlicia Walker, a sociologist and the author ofSecret life of the deceptive woman, have found that women can deceive their partners to become the best partner. The study participants who cheated said Rocks extinguished elsewhere have made them better partners because they have not returned a spouse not to put efforts in their sex life.
3. They have a suspicious partner
"We can not continue together, with suspicious minds," said Elvis Blood in 1969. The king had just and, if you were mistaken before, it is particularly understandable that it has left a mark. But constantly suspecting that your partner is not to become a self-directive prophecy.
"If you start asking them about whether or not they cheat or not, confronted with a person without evidence will not make them feel uncomfortable and put them on the defensive," Spiritual Advisor and Relationship Expert Davida RappaportAgitation. "Once you start doing that, your partner can decide to cheat after all, simply because you treat them as if they cheat."
4. Infidelity works in the family
Ato study published in 2017 revealed that the people whose parents have cheated weretwice as likely to deceive their spouse that those whose parents had been faithful. The authors noted that "parental infidelity sends memorable messages to the offspring on the increased acceptability of infidelity", "messages" internalized and used to build the belief systems of the offspring. "
5. A big anniversary approaches
A2014 study published in theActs of the National Academy of Sciences showed that people were more likely to cheat in the years preceding a new decade (ie 29, 39, 49, etc.). It turns out that theProbability of a man commitment of ad adult Increases with age, especially once they hit a point they feel like it's their last opportunity to sleep with other women before they are officially decreed.
6. She plays chances
The attractiveness of men peaks at 50-if you put a faith in a recent study of online dating behavior, that is to say. This same study revealed that while the desirability of the middle woman begins to fall when she is in college. Therefore,Women are more likely to commit infidelity when they are younger; It is when they have the most extensive choice of potential partners.
7. They are lost in the relationship
It is so easy to get wrapped in a relationship you lose somehow your sense of self. When someone feels like they do not know who they are more because cheating can be the way they seek to escape.
8. They need an ego boost
AMen's and Women Cheating Driver is insecurity on its own levels of attractiveness. People who lost the Mojo are more likely to cheat because they have problems reinforcing and getting it from one person do not cut it.
"If the partner arrives in a place in the relationship in which they are unable to fill this emptiness longer, the misleading person continues to stay in the relationship (because she feared to be alone) but gets the validation that now lacks A marital affair supplement, "Kelly's armature, a cognitive behavioral therapist, a relationship coach and a speaker, told Fox News.
9. They have long fingers
People who have longer fingers than the fingers of the pointer are more inclined to cheat according to ato study led by the University of Oxford. This is a consequence of more testosterone exposure in the uterus. Interestingly, this is true for men and women.
10. Their friends cheat
If your friends are divorced,You are more likely to be divorced. If your friends earn more, you are more likely to win more. It should therefore be of little surprise to learn that social networks also affect infidelity. According toMr. Gary Newman, psychotherapist, rabbi and author ofThe truth about cheating77% of misleading men also cheat friends. Now, it does not mean 77% of men with misleading friends, trys of course. But if your partner is not disturbed by the cheat of his friend, it could be a red flag.
11. They look like a cheater
On the face, this reason does not seem that it would pass a scientific gathering; Never judge a book by his cover, after all. But the research conducted in Brigham Youngt University found that people were rather good to "guess" if someone was a triinter based on appearance.
12. The cheating has never been so easy
Morality aside, finding someone to have a flainting with has never been so easy. In times of Jeffre, I suspect that the work of the pure leg involved in the manufacture of what happens all, but the most attached to adulterers on the right and narrow. These days, you reach in your pocket,Open an application, and see who is around and available.
13. They are afraid of commitment
According toPsychotherapist Charlotte HowardSome people are afraid of intimacy in a way that allows the sexual desire to be felt that outside of a deep partnership, because there is too much closeness with a partner to feel safe as a result of sex. "To avoid being vulnerable, they place barriers with the person by ever validating them completely.
14. They move
Experts say that while happiness increases with wealth, correlationpeaks once you have won $ 75,000 a year. On a2002 study Outside the Washington University, something else happens when you reach this threshold: you are more likely to cheat. In addition, you are once and twice more likely to deceive your partner than if you earn $ 30,000 or less each year.
15. She feels neglected
"According to my experience, most women cheat - or explain or justify their cheating - because their emotional needs were not affected or perceived as are not met by their partner", Marilyn Williams, founder of theMedian Center for Resilience and Cerebral Training, says the list. "They feel alone, ignored, did not pay attention to this kind of thing. Most of the time, the cheating was not premeditated; they realized how solitary or vulnerable they were once someone One else started paying attention to them. "
16. You live in a big city
It's simple maths. The more the city in which you live, the more opportunities you will have. To be an adultery is much easier in New York than in, say,McMullen, Alabama (population: 9).
17. Your relationship is happy and stable
One of the most surprising things that can lead partners to cheat is happiness and stability. Yes, you read that right. Of course, as for all things, it's the situation - and is rooted in your emerging years.
"We repeat states of instability and chaos if that's what we grew up," psychoanalyst and authorDr. Claudia Luiz said to the agitation. "This is an unfortunate aspect of the cerebral function that we become familiar with the synaptic brain activity we are used to." Luiz explains that becoming aware of your unconscious desire to launch a key in the work will result in greater depth and greater intimacy.
18. Thought of the old school
For centuries, we were fed the idea that men are biologically programmed to "extend their seed" as widely as possible, while women are wired to keep the potential father of their children in order to protect it and offspring. . This theory do not really hold, but others, ah,Chauvinism-inclined The males always inclined to think it - and live there.
19. Revenge
Talk toInsistThe Clear Psychotherapy Advisor McRitchie stated that the said infidelity could be used for revenge. She explained that in such a scenario, anger is often removed and released in the cheating act. Why? Because it offers to the injured party a feeling of power and control. "Knowledge that the other person is punished without realizing, it is because some people are cruel and unusual to punish them - sometimes perceive light rather than real," she said. She said.
20. They are solitary
Mcritchie also reported loneliness and sense of isolation can make people doing things out of character, such as cheating on their partners. "Communication between couples is often only at the surface [and do not plant too deep in a person's true psyche operator," said Mcritchie. "Add a third person to this mixture and suddenly the invisible person feels sought, important. The who cheats often try to come back again in the form of cheating." And for ways to identify infidelity, see these30 subtle signs your cheat wife or these30 subtle signs Your husband cheats.
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