Good Lifestyle

One of the most common things you hearwedding is it hard work. But if you talk to the experts, you will realize that many people make the same mistake and again. Recently,A reddit user requested Wedding counselors should share "the most common trials that couples" and the results are really an opening of the eyes. Here are the top 10 take away to avoid you in your relationship.

It is very tempting to want your spouse your world. But, according toA marriage counselor on reddit, the biggest error marked the people marked is to "expect a person to be everything for them". To make life rich and meaningful, "you need friends, colleagues, a support and hobby system."

"A partnership is a team, not competition"Another marriage counselor on reddit wrote. "If a person keeps the score of all they did, or all that their partner did is a death of the relationship for the relationship. This is one of the most common causes of resentment In a relationship and you see it often when people use absolute terms to describe itself or their partners (that is, I always ..., it never ...). Remember You that every person has its own needs, capacities, skills and borders is essential to a healthy couple. "

"Your partner is not psychic and regardless of the frequency they are around you or the way they know you, they can not resume each nuance to determine how you feel and how they should answer," wrote the same user. "It's called an emotional child care, and it's a crowd in a host of unnecessary problems and injuries."

"One of the most toxic things I found in the practice of marriage is that couples consider themselves as individuals who are together and not like a couple,"The wedding counselor wrote on Reddit. "It's not really a wedding. It has a roommate, or maybe less than that, even. Marriage is a union of two people. That's what the unity of candle and sand and nodes are all about. There is a gathering of two lives that are inseparable. If either member is still conceived as an autonomous person whose actions and provisions have no impact on themselves , things go eventually finally. ... This is seen when couples do not stop to consider thoughts, feelings, desires, dreams, capabilities of their spouse, and forces alongside their weaknesses. "

An example? "Get the money [ING] behind everyone's backs, because" it's my money, why is it important? "The Redditor added.

"The cure for this behaves like a unity in small and large", noted the advisor. "If you get something from the refrigerator, see if your spouse wants something. It even helps in the arguments; it is no longer his spouse against the spouse, but it is the married couple against the question causing stress. 'unity."

Another marriage counselor on reddit Noted that "blame their partner for all the questions in the relationship and do not pay ownership of their own role in dysfunction / problems" is a common thing they consider among couples in crisis.

And along the same lines, the Redditor added another problem: "NotExpressing his gratitude to your partner regularly. Experiments and expressions of gratitude can have a really positive effect on psychological well-being, as well as relational strength. "

A therapist with reddit coupleswrote that the "number one problem I see is a response from the threat too active creating anger and rigidity." They continued: "People do not stop refusing their way of defense and losing sight of love because all their energy will be correct or controlling the result. Of course control comes from a fear of fear. , but fear and vulnerability feels too dangerous, so it is generally expressed as anger, frustration or stiffness. To do not have control, accept what is before you and cultivate compassion. "

"If you marry someone with a [wrong] credit score, you need to know how and why they ended up with that, for fear of finding yourself in their shoes very quickly,"A divorce lawyer wrote. "A credit score can cost thousands and take years to rebuild. Know if they have tax privileges or responsibility. Are they paying childhood and have they a kind of seizure? Who will be responsible for the Financial management? How many credit cards make the other person and what are their sales? I saw money kill a lot of weddings. "

"Do not listen. Most people listen to answer and do not listen to hear"A BUDITOR wrote. "That's what I spend the most time teaching couples how to do it!"

"One of the common threads I see running in the middle of relationships / weddings falling in pieces is a kind of selfishness"Counselor to couples wrote. "People who do not realize quite that the wedding works better when you arethe two act in the best interest of others and seekingtheir Happiness more than yours. It cries a lot, but not exclusively, in sex / intimacy: if your main concern in sex isyouYou will not build a kind of link or intimate connection, and it will not be too fun for your partner. "

The Redditor continued: "Marriage is a lot about the sacrifice and couples that I see flourishing are all willing to make sacrifices for the other and for their families."

"Obviously, you did not grow together and depending on how you grew up, you may have had different family experiences (FOO)," aThe wedding, the couple and the master of a family student writes the student wrote. "It can be as simple as your foo separate from the laundry by color and that your [other significant] have threw everything together, then you have different family rules regarding laundry. [Or maybe] your FOO has had the rule of "family problems". The family and the family of your self by spoke to people outside the family on all the problems freely. Everyone has these rules - speaking of them and to discover them (without judgment) will go for a long time in the maintenance and deepening of the connection. If you do not "t of them, it's easy to enter into negative interaction schemes that are just repetitions From the way your FOO did things and do not create healthy and mutually safe models. "And if you and your spouse could use another advice, consider yourselfThe 10 signs surefire you need marriage tips.

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