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Have my late wedding After 16 years, it's one of the most difficult experiences in my life. My husband and I had grown together, but I hadgrown up After almost two decades. We tried to find our way between them again and again, but it did not work. Instead, the testcreated even more distance between us.

Finally, we both realized that we hadfallen out of love And would better go our distinct paths. We also realized that we deserved more than we gathered. But finally,Our split pushed me to become a better version of myself. If I have not passed and I did not have to discover who I was without my ex-husband, there is no way I would have done as much as me. Here are the 30 things I achieved accordingly.

When I wasmarriedThere were always four other people around. Now, with my ex of the house and my children only with me about 60% of the time, I am alone more than ever. At first, weekends without my children were really painful, but now I learned to enjoyBe alone. I found a control of the remote control, eat junk food without having to share and walk in my underwear to be really happy.

Of course, I had nights where silence hurt my ears and sobborn about it. But I made peace with my new life. I use my downtime forderive books, meditate and I even started writing the book I dreamed of all my life.

After my divorce, I wanted to stay in our family home, I wanted to have asuccessful careerAnd I wanted to show my children, you can support a family for yourself. So, I was organized, postulated for tons of writing jobs, you have jostled as I have never had before, and I was not afraid of the rejection or put me there. I would never have pushed up like that if I still had the luxury of sharing spending with someone.

My time with my children is limited now. When I'm with them, I put everything I have inbe a parent And it deepened our relationships. I ask more questions, I let them lead the way it's aboutOutings and tripsAnd I make more efforts to have special dates with each of them.

When my kids have to be in three places at once or my faucent faucet, I could depend on my ex-husband to help you. But parent andat home By myself taught me that I can either cut off the white and try to do everything myself, or can I ask for help in a way that I never had before. And I learned to go with it.

Two weeks after my ex move, water line at my refrigerator flees and oil thebasement. I panicked at first and I thought I was going to have to move, but after calming and sought after how to do it, I felt ability and able to extinguish myself the line of water myself and success! This is one of the many skills I added to my arsenal after divorce.

My house is my hobby and I like making small changes like painting, adding againpillowand put a fresh luminaire. I used to leave electricity to my ex, but I realized that I could either give up my love for aNew luminaire Or learn to do it myself by asking for the nice guy at home improvement store. Once again, I went with the two option.

Raw, yes, but I can not describe how accomplished I felt the first time I repaired aA clogged pipe on my own. After Drano failed me, I bought one of these snakes of instant power drain and I drew about five pounds of hair and dirt from the drain. I felt unstoppable and continued to snake each drain from home just because I could!

My future, my retirement, and all I do in life, it's me now - and most of what I want to accomplish takes money. After my divorce, I realized that I was hardly prepared to give up my dreams because I thought I could not pay them. Since,to save money has become a bit dependency and I put 30% of my income. I also refinanced my house and I saw it to repay it in 10 years so that I can be without mortgage when I am in the mid-1950s.

I am all the time when my children are with me. If there is a problem with the house, it's up to me to understand how to repair it. There is no one to rely on. But I can not be my best if I keep getting at the bottom of the list. So, I regularly plan massages, go to bed when I'm tired instead of pushing it, and I droppedToxic friendships bring me back. I learned that if I do not do the n ° 1, no one will do it.

Do not be married is not comfortable.Online dating is uncomfortable. To hear something outdoors late at night is uncomfortable. Seeing a family walking in the street on vacation when I'm not with my children is not comfortable.

But I had to deal with these things again and again and again as I settled in my new reality. I started to tell me that it was good to feel that way - and over time, I got used to discomfort. The truth is that I want to fall in love and find a partner of life, and I will see families crossing the road for the rest of my life. I can learn to face you feel uncomfortable or let it keep me moving forward. And in this case, the option is certainly better.

I had ato break up it really hurts. I forgot to choose my child in an event. I had jobs that were not panicked at the end. Of course, these experiments are difficult to manage, but they have resisted me and taught me that failure is a good thing because it means that I try something new. The fact that they did not work as I planned it means that I had the opportunity to learn and grow.

I thought my wedding would last forever, but I was wrong. I thought I could repair him when he was broken, but I was wrong. And I thought I could always put a happy face for my children throughout my divorce, but I was wrong.

Through this trip, I learned that I do not always know how to understand something, and it is free. I realized that it is better to be human and understand it as I go, instead of trying to repair everything for the love of my family.

Starting a new uncertain chapter is scary. I knew I was afraid of the unknown, yet, as soon as I realized that the unknown was out of my control, I could give up the fear of my future and let it unfold like that.

After my divorce, I have more time and bandwidth, atInvest in friends. Provides, they are some of the greatest love of my life. I resumed with a high school friend who also crossed a divorce and we often meet when we are not with our children. And now, I have more time taking the weekends with my best friend who lives a few states away.

Divorce means you will lose friends; It's inevitable. I leave these friendships who did not feel well from - and it made a lot of room for incredible women to come in my life. If I knew someone close to me went through a divorce, I will contact him. I talked about my situation openly by my writing and on Instagram and I made many new divorced friends that way. It would not happen if I was always married.

I now have more time forInvest in friendshipsAnd understand what others cross because I crossed something really difficult. And lend an ear and support my friends was also a gift for me because it helped me out of my own problems. After all, there are people who have gone through things much worse than a divorce.

I do not have a partner to pick up with soft, so I can not register for all that the school of my children - and it's okay! I also know that I do not have to get out of the family or friends simply because I have a night without a child. I can do what is best for me when I'm onmy time.

Divorce is a fantastic moment to say "yes" and try things you have never thought you would. I became addicted to the trial class and I realized how much I love to listen to self-help podcasts, things I had never found if I stayed married.

I would be lost without running andspinning course. When I do something really good for my body and my mind, he mitigates my distress so I keep doing it, even if I prefer to be in bed.

During the period of mourning, when I missed our old family dynamic, it was tempting to try to dab my pain. I sat down with that, and little by little, I have evolved the past. Of course, it still hurts, just in a more manageable way.

Take risks - whether it's my book, I wanted to write and go out to publishers or set up aOnline profile dating-Does do not feel so frightening compared to what I crossed.

A divorce can leave youparalucled. After taking small pieces at a time, I know now that I can cross everything that throws me that life throws me, as long as I'm not trying to do it in a love at first sight.

I refuse to sit down and wrap up in self-merging. The weather will pass if I kiss my future or that I stay stuck in the past. When I feel down, I remember how grateful my children are my children are healthy and well adjusted, and I have many years in front of me to create life I want.

When your wedding ends, it's easy to watch this as a failure and thinking that you can not have a romantic relationship with anyone, as if love is a unique offer. But I refuse to believe that I do not find my person. He is there and I can not wait to meet him.

Talking with people who have gone through the same experience have been a life of rescue, whether on a date, or a discussion with another divorced mother. When you sit in front of someone who reminds you that you are not alone, the connection you create is deep.

By connecting with more people and working on my friendships so as not to have if I was always married, I realized that everyone has trouble playing with something - and showing that compassion goes very far .

Nowadays, I do not take anything for granted. Every morning, I run because I can. I work on myself so that I can be a better person for my good and for the good of my children. I refuse to go through the motions. My divorce was a call of awakening, reminding me how fast something can be removed.

I'm not afraid of being the first to say, "I'm sorry" or "I love you". The worst that can happen is that it will not work. And I'm no longer afraid of that.

When I met my husband, I looked at me to make me happy. Then we wanted a family and I thought it would make me happy. Although my family, of course, added to my happiness, I learned that I am the only one responsible for making me happy. I will never depend on another job description because I know I'm capable and really, I would never want anyone's happiness depends on me, either.

Katie Bingham-Smith is an independent writer living in Maine with her three children. His work was published on the family circle, Scary Mommy, the girlfriend, cultivated and stolen, MOM.Me and is currently working on his first novel.

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