These habits will increase your chances of divorce
And you thought that cheating has caused a lot of conflict ...
While the divorce rate in America has been declining since the 1980s,Between 42 and 45% of all marriages of modern America ends with divorce. And although most of us know flagrant habitsas cheatingThis gives you a simple ticket for Splitsville, the truth is that much of the behavior that leads to divorce is much more subtle. In fact, you can not even understand what you do is a problem for your relationship. Read for the most important and surprising habits that will increase your chances of divorce. And for larger tips on how to avoid being served Divorce Documents, check the50 best wedding tips from all time.
Do not listen to his concerns
"Many women go from silent radio after years of attempts to improve the relationship. If it no longer speaks, and a specific solution has not been implemented, it can plan its output" consultant couples and coachLesli Doores RecountBetter life. "Many men are blinded by their women who are asking for a divorce because everything is fine for him. Women incur about 80% of divorces - many after years of feeling or having their concerns minimized."
So, do not mean that everything is fine, just because it's been a long time since you had an argument. A very timed comment like: "Hey, everything is fine with you? Am I the best spouse that I can be?," Can go a long way.
Try to change them
"Trying to bring your partner to change who they are or how they do things are controlling," DOARES said. "You are trying to eliminate your anxiety or discomfort trying to bring your partner to behave about how you think they should. However, most people do not like being controlled. In fact, what You will create is to repel and hostility. " At the end of the day, you have to love people for whom they are, not for whom they are not.
"It's not that your partner will never change. That's ityou can not change your partner "Karl pillemer, a gerontologist at Cornell University, who studied the long-term success of relationships,RecountBetter life. "The people who finally accept their companion for whom and what they are, rather than seeing them as a project to do it yourself, find the liberating experience - and are much more likely to have happy and satisfactory relationships for decades. "
Do not have enough space
Everyone knows that if you do not spend quality time with your spouse, you risk getting out. But when Iinterviewed 10 real people about what they did to transform their marriage, Many of them also stated that it was also crucial to have your own space - both literally and figuratively.Michael42, he said and his 12-year-old wife likes to do things together "when our interests overlap, but give themselves the space to do it alone. So we grow together, but do not feel" stuck " . " AndMegansaid she thought she was going to "finish on60 minutes At some point to stifle [her husband] in her sleep "because of her snoring until they have a second bedroom.
Picky
"A sign that your relationship is in danger of heading towards divorce, it is if there is a contempt and a coherent critic of each other. Both are very damage to the individual and relations", therapistIrene Schreiner RecountBetter life. "Research has shown that these two unpackaged behaviors can predict divorce." As important as it is to express your concerns, it is also very important to choose your battles so that your spouse does not feel constantly like a child being picked in the playground. Sometimes, arguing on socks left on the floor is simply worth it.
Not saying "thank you"
When you are married for a while, it's easy to start taking what your spouse does for you on a daily basis. But a University of Georgia 2017to study found that the largest predictor of matrimonial happiness was gratitude.A little goes a long way.
Forget that your partners as well as parents
It is natural that once you have children, your roles that have become more important than your conjugal relationship. Corn,according to The therapist and the most sold self-help authorTina B. Ticina, your romantic relationship is "the foundation that your family is built. Do not be so in your parents' role you forget to be partners." PageBarack ObamaBook and plan a regular night of the night, regardless of the frequency of occupation.
Rut
When you and your partner are married for the first time, you probably surprised each other on the occasion of flowers, gifts, concert tickets or even holidays, but all this tends to fall At the edge of the direction when you are together for a moment. It's unfortunate, becauseUniversity of Michigan On 123 couples in their seventh and ninth wedding year revealed that something as simple as boredom can cause couples to lose interest in their weddings. Do not forget to be a little spontaneous from time to time!
DO NOT Divide Household Tasks
Not really engaged
AUCLA study of 172 married couples over the age of 11 have found that those who are married were those who realized that being "committed" meant "" I committed to doing what it takes to make this relationship "as opposed to "I like this relationship and I am committed to that. "
"It's easy to be attached to your relationship when it goes well," Thomas Bradbury, co-director of the Institute of Relations and Head of the Study, said. "As a relationship changes, however, should not you say at some point something like", I'm attached to this relationship, but that's not very good - I need to have some resolution, to do Sacrifice and take the steps I need to take to keep this relationship from moving forward. "
Transpire the little things
"I almost redesigned the whole thing about the wedding when the husband used a fork and a knife on Nachos on our first birthday",The Twitter user wrote. Look, we all have our animal seeds, but we also have our quirks. And although there are some red flags - likeHow does someone treat his family-What you should take seriously, there is also a lot oflittle things you should feel like ignoring.
Technical disturbance
The technology has made it easier than ever to meet someone, but we can say that it has also made it more difficult to stay together. AStudy revealed that "Phubbing" -The act of ignoring someone when reversing your phone - can have disastrous effects on your relationship. Hitting an ex on facebook or flirt with a cute person on Instagram may seem harmless, butSome experts say that kind of "micro-cheat"Erodes confidence and can often lead to real infidelity. And another study revealed that the rise of streaming couplesNetflix on separate devices at night kills our sex life. It should not be surprising, then,that the lawyers claim "Facebook" was cited as a cause of divorce in a petition in five in Great Britain.
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