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Movie Critics can do or break a new versionpotential success. And while choosing the DUDs, it's easy, which requires more skills to identify when you look at what will eventually become classic. In fact, even the most famous cinema critics may have difficulty recognizing greatness. To takeStanley Kauffmann ofThe new republic, for example. Inhis exam ofStanley Kubrick's 2001: a spatial odysseyHe described the movie like "so boring, it even abyes our interest in technical ingenuity for the good of knowing that Kubrick has made it boring." Or what would you sayJoseph McBride, aVariety criticism that thought they hit the nail on her head when helicensed Martin Scorsese Goodfellas, one of the best gangster films ever made, like "unsatisfactory dramatically". Here are 33 hilariously bad reviews about what would become beloved, timeless cinematic classics.

"The more we see the main characters, the less attractive they are. Luke Skywalker is a Winner,Han solo A sarcastic boiler, Princess Leia a Nag and C-3PO just a drone. "

-People

"He has dwarves, music, technicolores, monster characters andJudy Garland. It can not be expected that humor also has a sense of humor and that, as for the mild touch of fantasy, it weighs a wet fruit cake book. "

-Otis Ferguson,The new republic

"If you can keep both eyes open throughout its three-hour length, you are a better man I'm."

-Dave Kehr,Chicago Reader

"This is a measure of how the film operates not once, we feel a particular sympathy for one of the victims of the shark ... he puts good actors to the test. They must work very hard just for appear alive. "

-Vincent Canby,The New York Times

"All of any interest was completely covered in the original movie, but like many people who have nothing to say,Part II Do not shut up. "

-Vincent Canby,The New York Times

"[Barbra] Streisand's The notion of agency is a bulldozer at one end of one line to another regardless of anyone or anything; You can literally feel his impatience for the other artist to stop talking so that she can resume recovery. "

-John Simon,New York magazine

"A mute movie that could have been done solely by a smart and talented man."

-Richard T. Jameson,Weekly

"I can not think of a folkloric hero in human history with fewer qualities redeeming that James Bond. He is not even a human being, but just a big store of Bang-Bang mannequin ... Of course, This criticism is too wise in the way of brainwashing to believe that one of his readers believe it. So see it for yourself, but do not blame me. "

-Andrew Sarris,Village voice

"Disapparative Has a winding plot that has something to do with dear to do beautiful things for people - if they wear the good clothes, it's like ... it's like biting in a tamale and find it filled with puff marshmallow. "

-Owen Gleiberman,Weekly entertainment

"For the most part, things simply jump and go 'boo!'"

-Dave Kehr,Chicago Reader

"Nobody has yet made a romantic comedy in which, for example, a popes of toxic waste falls for a terrorist hacking. (They meet cute in a registration line of the airport, and she has a bomb in her Luggage.) ButA pretty woman Approves the search for the least admirable characters to build a good movie. "

-Richard Corliss,Time

"I do not want to be cynical, but is it not supposed to be a little more nostalgic than this one?"

-Ed Gonzalez,Tilt

"A piece of elegant claptrap occult ... The devil, it seems, for all his supposed powers, can not break and enter without resembling like Laurel and Hardy trying to move a piano."

-Vincent Canby,The New York Times

"To judge by the popularity of the film, the message that stupidity is redemption is clearly what many Americans want to hear."

-Jonathan Rosenbaum,Chicago Reader

"Rarely said so little summer in so many words."

-Bosley Crowther,The New York Times

"Fighter clubis a walk of chills that are as philosophy - the kind of turn where some people vomited and other people can not wait to withdraw. "

-Roger Ebert,Chicago Sun-Times

"If anyone always wanted to see[Keanu] Reeves Shaved naked and covered with mud, it's lucky. He plays a computer hacker who falls into a vague awareness that this world is only the low reflection of a Cyberworld controlling "on there" ... we know it is puzzled on what reality it currently occupies because 'He escapes into his eyebrows. "

-Bob Graham,The chronicle of San Francisco

"Obviously, it's (E.T.) is one of those types of autistic genius that Hollywood loves - able to create aInterstellar communicator On toys and cutlers, but completely inept with basic social skills. "

-Don McKellar,Movie scope

"He employs depression as a substitute for personality and belief that if the characters are sufficiently bitter and morose, we will not notice how dull they are."

-Roger Ebert,Chicago Sun-Times

"I was not only surprised by the final of the film, I did not even try one. I just thought I was looking at a bad movie."

-Jack Mathews,New York daily news

"With attractive tracking and repetitive music, the movie stops and starts so many times before anything happens.The Bogeyman Lighting becomes just a nuisance. "

-Pauline Kael,The New Yorker

"This is the ideal date movie, assuming that you meet a psychopathic sadist with a high tolerance for dillydallying."

-People

"[James Cameron has never been known for his dialogue butTitanic door of the pukers who would not make the final project of aDays of our lives scenario. "

-David Edelstein,Slate

"Not just a kind of basket, it's a peak basket, a kind of" when tuccon over psycho "that plays a hysteria on mental health that is worth saying when his characters are hallucinating and when they do not are not. "

-Kenneth Turan,Los Angeles Times

"With everything to work with, directorStanley Kubrick Team with nervousJack Nicholson destroy everything that was so terrifying aboutStephen King Bestseller ... The Crazier Nicholson gets, the more he looks silly. "

-Variety

"The only thing we note with disappointment is that among the stuffed birds that adorn the motel office of[Anthony] PerkinsThere are no significant bats. "

-Bosley Crowther,The New York Times

"So chic, studied and dark, it looks like a cross between a Nike commercial and a bad polish art film ... Located in a rainy, adorn a burg (the city of Dread?) Where the lighting was still invented,Sevenseems to believe that if you drop enough references toDante andChadurt You got serious. "

-David Ansen,Newsweek

"This film inspires no fear in me, but hate? Yes. Oh yes."

-Barbara Shullgasser,Examiner

"Exasperative and self-defeating experience, rather like listening to extolate nymphomania the virtues of celibacy."

-Ryan Gilbey,New state states

"The former master revealed another history Hitchcock-And-Bull in which the mystery is not so much that did it like being worried."

-Time

"A way to save a little fun with this Blunderbuss would fall asleep while watching and dreaming a better movie yourself. Try it. You will avoid a headache."

-Kelly Vance,East Bay Express

"I had mosquito bites that were more passionate than this undead, not written and quite a little unnecessary thing of the pseudo-romantic on" Romeo and Juliet "."

-Marc Salov,The Austin Chronicle

"Blue velvetIs like the guy who leads you walnuts by lighting horrible news and saying. 'No matter.'"

-Roger Ebert,Chicago Sun-Times

And learn more about more cinematographic gaffes, check these50 original tracks for stricken films, we are so happy did not happen.

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