20 things you should never tell someone in the army

The guide to speak to a veteran or a military member.


Today, there are nearly 1.3 million Americans actively serving in the army, according to theCouncil on external relations. Every day, these military men and women work diligently to protect our freedoms, while facing dangers threatening by life. And while many members of the army come to a hero to welcome, for many others, to be among civil society, it is a seemingly endless dam ofintrusive and offensive questions.

While a "Thank you for your service" is rarely unconscious, there are countless ways that civilians can offend members of our armed services, even withApparently harmless conversation starters. "Usually, only civilians who have no relationship with the military asking inappropriate questions about the war and the experience of the battle", declaresKatie, a former member of the Army based in New York.

So, before you start discussing a veteran or a member of the current service, make sure you do not pronounce any of these things that you should never tell someone in the army that he is currently or previously. And for more things than only someone who served Sara, check these23 slang terms only veterans know.

1
"How many people did you kill?"

Soldier in fatigues
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"Never ask:" How many people did you kill? "According to Katie. Although many people in armed services have seen fighting, it is unlikely to be impatient to share traumatic details of their war experience so freely. In fact, for some members of the army with A post-traumatic stress disorder (SSPT), discuss the fight against combat can be a trigger.

2
"What kind of action did you see in combat?"

military service men in combat
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Like questions of civilians on the potential to kill the potential of a military member, asking for details about the fight can also result in a major offense. "For the most part, members of the service do not want to talk about it," says Katie. "Some do not bother, but you have to let the military personnel bring it first." And for more ways, you can show your appreciation for those who serve our country, check these30 Quotations of the Veterans Day that show gratitude for our army.

3
"When did you finish?"

days crossed out on calendar
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Although someone in home-based armed services can look like a goal for some civilians, asking someone from the army when they are "made" is like asking anyone in another career when 'They plan to leave their domain. For many members of the army, being in the service does not consist in having a job - this is an important part of whom they are and a career they are eager to continue, even if it means prolonged periods far from home.

4
"I'm glad you get it into one piece."

black woman in american military uniform
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Of course, it is natural to be relieved when someone comes back from an apparently non-associated fight. However, given the deep trauma that often comes with a military deployment, saying to a member of the army they "made it in one piece" when they can feel as if the truth can easily cause an offense.All scars are not visibleAnd a statement like this can make felt as if you do not know an important part of the experience of a veteran.

5
"How could you leave your family for so long?"

military army mom and daughter
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While deployments can be undeniably difficult on a family, acting as if a member of the armed service hasabandoned their spouse Or deployment children is obviously offensive. Military members must also pay the invoices, and although it can sometimes say spending important amounts of the house, asking them the way they could leave their families isseriously rude. And for more things to know about the military families, consult the20 military joint things want you to know.

6
"What do you think about what's going on in the news?"

breaking news story, paper route
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Although the members of the army become likely to better understand what is happening in war zones that your average civilian, it does not mean that they are still looking forward to talking about it. Do not treat your nearest service member as an endless fountain of policy information and do not go out of your way of asking for their opinion whenever a tragedy strikes. And for more things you did not know about the army, check these28 celebrities who served in the army.

7
"What's really like there?"

military officers talking, army facts
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Describe a place that someone else has never been sick is undeniably difficult and when you add factors such as trauma, a service member may have treated when deploying, asking this may be a question More charged than you could imagine.

8
"Does anyone knew you mourt?"

American flag
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Of course, deaths occur in armed services, and it can be extremely traumatic for those who lose colleagues and loved ones. However, just because someone who served is also likely to know someone who died during the service does not mean that you get a free pass to ask them. After all, you would probably not want someone creates someone's death near you, either.

9
"It must be difficult to go for it long."

white man in military uniform hugging young son
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Although long deployments can be difficult, assuming that everyone reacts in the same way to them minimizes the experience of the members of the service and their families. If you want to know how someone resembles to be deployed, the best approach is to wait for them to bring it.

10
"You seem so normal."

older couple arguing at table, etiquette mistakes
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Join the armed services can change a person undeniably. But tell someone in the army they "seem normal" are not only big, it can make them feel alienated. There is nothing wrong with being in the service, even if it's not familiar to you.

11
"I do not agree with what you did there."

man arguing with friend or boyfriend, things you should never say to your spouse
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Although everyone has the right to their own political beliefs, a member of the armed services is not the right person to go out. Veterinarians and active members are not government policy managers and their work can go to be on the fight front lines attending an office, thousands of kilometers from the action. Just because you do not necessarily worry about what our military does not mean that your nearest veteran needs to hear about it.

12
"Do you feel guilty?"

Sad Woman Lying on a Pillow
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There are probably many members of the armed services that feel guilty or, at the very least, in conflict of what they have seen and have done during their career. But there is not so much, if not more, who feel that they have served an important goal in maintaining civil liberty and, in many cases, helping people during their deployments. Asking a military member if they feel guilty of their service, that's similar to saying that you think that's like that theyshould to feel.

13
"You have to miss much while you're away."

white mother and black father with mixed race toddler and infant sitting on couch
Shutterstock / Halfpoint

The deployment can be difficult for families, but it is hardly a unique experience. The members of the army can also have a family, friends and mentors in the service, and consider the intense nature of their work when they are deployed, some people may not feel absorbed. And, of course, for those who do it, it is not necessary to rub salt in the wound.

14
"Let me buy you a drink."

Fresh beer filling the glass directly from the tap. With extra foam spilling over glass.
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It is understandable that you want to show a member of the armed services your appreciation by offering to treat them with a glass. However, considering that theNational Institute of Drug Abuse reveals that almost half of the members of the department reported a consumption of consumption of the frenzy, and an indemnant number tries to distance themselves from these vices, this apparently pleasantly pleasant gesture can actually put a service member in a delicate position when 'They feel the need to diminish or worse, accept against their best judgment.

15
"I know someone who died in combat."

funniest facts
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In the same way that you should not tell a person with cancer that the friend of your roommate of your uncle is dead, you should not tell someone in the army you know a person who is dead a work similar to that of theirs. It's an uncomfortable conversation, even if it's true.

16
"Can you believe that these [insert the racist term here]."

angry woman arguing with man, things you should never lie to kids about
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Although it can go without saying that racism and xenophobia never go well, trying to get a member of the army to co-sign your hateful feelings is never a good idea. Considering that many people in the army dohumanitarian work In the regions to which they are deployed, your offensive feelings about other people and cultures will probably fall on deaf or angry ears.

17
"It's a crime they pay you so little."

cash, Crazy Facts About Dollar Bills
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NPR Bridging in 2018 that an estimate of 23,000 military families receive food aid in the United States. But on the side numbers, involving that each military member has difficulty being done by or, frankly, mention their salary at all - is seriously offensive and impolite.

18
"Do you have PTSD?"

Therapist and patient
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Of course, a staggering number of veterans fight with SSPT. According toU.s. Ministry of Veterans Affairs, up to 30% of Vietnamese veterinarians are diagnosed with the condition of their lives, for example. That said, it is never appropriate to ask for an old one or a current member of the army on his PTSD status. First of all, it's intrusive and potentially triggered to get someoneHistory of mental health. And in addition to that, many people assume that the only source of SSPT in service is the fight, while everything from sexual aggression to physical abuse can be a catalyst for this diagnosis among the members of the service and civilians.

19
"I know what you're feeling."

While in a disagreement, a young couple discusses problems. The wife sits on the sofa and gestures in frustration while husband listens intently
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If there are six words that you should rather hit your vocabulary, whatever the situation, do them "I know what you feel."

Although you can feel as if you could address that a military member has crossed, unless you're not in the service yourself, it's unlikely that you can really understand significantly. And when you say to someone of the army you know how they feel, you give priority to your story about theirs, which often makes it difficult for them to open.

20
"You registered for that."

united states army,
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On a surface level, yes, it is true that the members of the army have literally registered for the service they perform. However, telling a military member that they will agree, whatever the service, because they registered is nothing less impulse and revocation.

Military service often means that your life can change significantly from day to day, and in many cases, so as not to have imagined. Although members of the army could have had inklings that they could be deployed or seeing a fight, there is no good reason to give them your two hundred on what they should or should not anticipate . And for more military facts, check30 Wild Facts on the US Army.


Categories: Culture
Tags: Career / Etiquette
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