12 things that every couple needs to know before moving together

You may never have thought of creating a "rupture plan" so far.


There are many reasons why unfolding withYour other significant Just meaning: it's cheaper, it's convenient and, most importantly, you will arrive atspend as much time together Also possible. But at the same time, living together before marriage is a huge step and should never be taken lightly. After all, breaking in a more difficult way when you share property or lease and you are in such neighborhoods (even with someone you like!) Can reveal things you would never have known if not . In advance, we asked the experts of things that each couple should know how to live together before marriage.

You should talk about what the movement means for your future

It is tempting to get rid of moving together asNatural next step in the relationshipBut do not assume that your partner sees the same thing as you. "For some people, it's a question of logistics and saving money," says the licensed advisorSimone Lambert, PhD, President of theAmerican Council Association. "Other people seek to test the relationship and determine if it's a good fit for them." Whether you plan to keep occasional things, hire or maintain an unmarried long-term relationship, make sure your other significant page is on the same page before you start living together before the wedding.

It's intelligent to create a "rupture plan"

Even if you have all intention to stay together forever after your borrowing together, it is impossible to know what the future has in store. In caseYou end up break, Create a plan on logistics like which gets the house and gets the dog, suggests an approved relationship and a sexual therapistLisa Thomas ofSofa. "You have to understand things as if it were a business," she says. "It's notamantic, but at the same time you have to be responsible and independent so you have a plan and you do not find yourself in a bad situation." After all, it is easier to make these difficult and emotional decisions before tensions are increasing.

Some partners become lazy during cohabitation

The meeting is excellent because every moment you spend together is special; You blocked the time for each other and you are probably focusing on "US time" instead of sitting on your phone, "said Thomas. But this dynamic can change when you are one with others every day and every night, and you are comfortable (maybe a little too comfortable) with your partner. "When you live together, be sure to schedule dates or prioritization of time to spend some with others," Thomas suggests. Even if life sometimes becomes sometimes, this couple can keep the spark strong.

You could be considered more like "a part of the family"

The cohabitation will probably change your relationship with your partner's family. Family events that you may not have been able to attend before could suddenly become commitments, Thomas points out. For the better or for the worst, you will probably be more rooted in the family, so get more time with your partner's parents.

Your social life becomes more closely linked

Family obligationsare not the only ways that your social life will change; Even if you used to go out with your friends at any time, you want, or invited your friends without giving him a second thought, you will have to take your partner into consideration if they live under the same roof, explains Thomas. You may want to propose a registration strategy so that plans occur, she says. Maybe a partner is always ready for an output as long as the calendar is clear, but the other would prefer to give a yes or no or not before being engaged in any plan. It's up to you to understand a system that works before you start living together before the wedding.

You can start seeing (and revealing) your sides not so beautiful

Cohabitation usually means letting your guard and not necessarily in a good way. "In a [living separate] relationship, we areoften on our best behavior, "Lambert said." When you are at home at home, it becomes much more difficult to maintain this best behavior. "Submit strategies for fighting start brewing. Try to take a" exit time "when tensions increase, or meet a counselor in relation to a counselor to help work through the new problems likely to develop, Lambert suggests.

You will need to determine the breakdown of household tasks

When you live separately, each of you has probably installed in a comfortable routine to do housework. Some like to keep a spic and spanate place, while others do not lead to leave the dishes tomorrow, which can create a tension when a partner is sick of disorder, and the other feels that housework is a waste of time. "Talk about this at the end of the end is useful in terms of expectations," says Lambert. Discuss how you expect the house to be, what tasks that each partner is responsible and how often they should be supported.

Invoices do not have to be 50/50

Finance is always a hot button and household bills will probably be the first problem you will encounter. Some couples like to divide 50/50 bills, but it's not the only option, says Thomas. You can choose another route, as paying on the basis of a percentage of income, but it is important to have this plan in place before the first bill arrives.

Finance could become more of a problem

Although invoices are the most obvious money problems that appear when you live together, these are not the only financial decisions you will encounter. "Money is going to manage your own finances to live together and share spending," said Thomas. Spend workers and savers could compete more when their lives become more closely related. Before living together before the wedding, discuss what a comfortable budget looks like you and how much you are planning to save each month.

Religious differences could become more pronounced

You do not need to follow the same religion to have a healthy relationship, but it's a good idea to talk about beliefs and traditions before moving together. Before moving, you head to a religious service every weekend may have affected your partner's schedule. But once you coexist, it means that it will stay alone at home. Thomas recommends discussing the way you spend a great holiday (religious or not) and if you should start attending services.

Your move could affect your children (if you have))

Communication is the key to all relationships, but it can beparticularly difficult when parenthood is involved, "said Lambert. If a partner has a child who will live with you, a consultant specializing in mixed families can help guide children and adults through household changes. And if you and your partner have a baby together, you "You have to prepare the changes not only to your life situation, but also in the responsibilities and expectations that go with the breeding of a child.

A cohabitation agreement will provide protection

Maybe the least romantic thing to address is what will happen if a tragedy strikes. "If anything happens to one of the partners ... A formal domain may not be recognized if there is no marriage in place", warns Lambert. Create a cohabitation contract - keep it informal or to obtain notarial - will give the two partners something to take up if the tragedy strikes, declares Lambert.


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