17 parent myths that people have believed for decades
Do not fall next to these traps.
Whoever rising children will tell you thatparenthood is not easy feat. However, they are not just crises of anger, duties of calculation and obtaining this indispensable toy of this year in time for the holidays that moms and dads are rising. Innumerable caregivers find themselves fighting a rising tide of misinformation, the frequency of snugging their babies in the manner of their ownwedding could affect their children on the line.
With the help of pediatricians, psychiatrists and other experts, we decomposed some of the most invasive parental myths. So, read it if you need help to make the work most difficult in the world a little easier.
1 Your child is better able to learn things before they are five.
Small children are able to learn and maintain a wealth of information - usually even more than their adult counterparts. That said, if your child does not havelearned a second language Or mastered the piano piano number 2 of their fourth birthday, it does not mean that they will never be, as a claim.
"If you have natural talents, you do not need to start before 5 years or before the age of 3 or something like that," saysGina Posner, MD, a pediatrician at the Medical Center of the Orange Memorialcare in the Fontaine Valley, California. It recommends that parents of "do not go to sea" when it comes to putting pressure on their child to master specific skills of a certain age. "Hearing [a language] early facilitates learning, but it's not thealone How to learn them, "adds Posner.
2 Hold your baby too much spoiled.
Worried that all this time spent holding and hugging with your adorable newborn will make them a difficulty.or downright spoiled-child? Do not be, says Posner. "It certainly does not happen at the beginning. When they are newborn, there is not too much cold blood. They need this end in harmony - they have just spent nine months standing at the 'uterus."
3 Each bad behavior requires strong consequences.
Even the easiest children are inclined to behave badly from time to time. That said, the idea that you need to gain punishments or cancel privileges each time your child does something you do not like - or risk that the behavior becoming permanent - is lost, at best.
"It's a full myth," saysMayra Mendez, Ph.D., LMFT, a licensed psychotherapist and a program coordinator for intellectual disabilities and the development and mental health services of the Child Development Center and the Saint John Providence Family in Santa Monica, in California. "If there are soil rules that have not been pre-established between the parent and the child ... they do not really behave badly. You can not hold a child with a norm that does not have Established ", note Mendez. "There is no learning out there, it's just a way to have some sort of control or authority."
Instead, Mendez suggests talking to your child why they behaved in a certain way, what they feel and give them soft advice on the reasons that a particular behavior is not a good choice.
4 Easy babies turn into difficult children.
Countless people will tell you - with a great gusto, no less than your smiley, happy baby who slept all night at six weeks is destined to become terror as they get older. But "it's not true at all," says POSNER. "Some children just have very easy personalities, but that does not mean they will be more difficult. There are a lot of things super easy at first and stay super easy."
5 Babies cry only because they are tired, hungry, sick or injured.
Although it is good to believe that there is a list of magic control of things that could make your baby cry, it is rarely the case. "The babies will cry randomly on many different things and a lot of time, you can not know why they cry," says Posner. "Sometimes they are crying just without reason that you can really explain."
6 If you like your children, parenthood is easy.
Love your children can be easy, but that does not necessarily mean that parents will be. "Parenting is not something naturally easy to do," says Mendez. "You can love your children, but every child is different and the challenge of parenthood is to learn to work with and what every child - and it's a task. It is not necessary to be unpleasant, But it's a task. "
7 Your instinct is always reliable when it comes to your children.
You may know your child better than the doctor they see once a year, but that does not mean that your instincts are always accurate with respect to their care - especially in terms of medical problems. "Sometimes a child just has acold And parents insist surprising an infection because they know their child, "says Posner." I understand that a parent knew his child better than a supplier, but a doctors' supplier will know better when there is something wrong. "
8 Being too loving towards your children make them codependents.
Many people say they are too nice, sweet or loving with your children will only cause long-term problems - but the experts insist otherwise.
"You can not be too loving to a child in my opinion," says Mendez. "They need to feed, they need advice, they need support, they need a parent who can read their child so they can learn problem solving skills and emotional regulation. A good Attachment and an obligation is essential to positive parenting and a social and emotional child development. "
9 Giving a solid baby earlier will make them sleep better.
According to innumerable individual individuals, if you want to bring your baby to finally confess and go to sleep, all you need is the introduction of certain solids. But in reality, give your children solid too early can actually fire to the back. "It's definitely aTALE OF OLD Wives. Babies are sometimes not ready for [food] and get gas graders and have a lot of pain, "says Posner." Parents will feed them solids, then they are standing all night because their babies scream in agony. "
10 Children must always be rewarded for good behavior.
Enriching your child for everything they do well, according to Mendez, "does not allow a child to internalize the value of what they work towards ... it ends up reduced the child's ability to take Information, process this information and do something with from an internal value system. "
11 Sleep training will naturally come when your child is ready for that.
If you wait for your child to give you signals that they are ready to sleep, you are probably in store for more than your fair share ofwithout sleep Nights. "Later, it's very difficult to sleep to sleep some children. If you sleep a train a little earlier, as before you get up to stand up, they are quite easy to fall asleep. It's on most of the way a parent is ready to let them cry, "says Posner.
So, when will you have the most success when it comes to sleeping? "The six to seven-month mark is excellent," says Posner. "I can not say 100%, but the majority of children you can sleep at that time."
12 The fears of your children are only a scene they cross.
"Children" fears can be very real and when they are ignored or rejected or not answered, they grow and are not escales, "says Mendez. "We can have reassuring and favorable parents who still have aanxious Child, and this fear is very real to this child. Sometimes it could be a phase, but work through that, not reject it. It is revealing their emotion and their experience. "
13 Disagree in front of your children, is always traumatic.
If you fear that you have caveted your child to life with disagreement in front of them, you can breathe easily. Although any kind of screaming, violence or name call can be traumatic to children, having respectful discussions in front of them can actually be a good thing. When children are exposed to calm disagreements, "it can be very healthy," says Mendez. "It can teach up troubleshooting, respecting other perspectives, and she can teach the child to negotiate ... They learn that you can disagree and always love each other."
14 Breasty babies are smarter than those fed by the formula.
If you are breastfeeding in the hopes you will make your child a genius, do not remember your breath. Posner says that the research that once pointed to the breastfeeding babies with the higher IQs later in the life that their counterparts powered by the formula have been defective. At the end of the day she explains, keeping your baby from goinghunger is more important than what is in this bottle.
"The most important thing is to have a baby fed - their qi can certainly decrease if you are trying to breastfeed and the kid is hungry," says POSNER. "If you can breastfeed, it's great! But babies fed the formula are doing very well too."
15 Spanking teaches children's discipline.
Save the stem, spoil the child? Not according to experts - and, in fact, spanking can have disastrous consequences. "There have been decent studies that show that spanking teaches children to be more violent and teaches children to hit more," says POSNER. "The man, is it difficult sometimes, but these studies have really strengthened that spanking only learns more violence for children." In fact, according to a 2017 study published in thePediatric newspaperThere is an important link between receiving spanking in childhood and becoming an author of domestic violence later in life.
16 Children of divorced parents always end up having relationship problems.
If yourlove relationship is on his last legs, you do not have to try to paste it for your children - many children ofdivorced ends well. "Children who go through divorces where parents can talk, collaborate and parent together - these children will have a better likelihood of having healthy relationships," said Mendez. That said: "This requires many efforts on the share of parents to make divorce a problem of problem solving in which everyone can be civil."
17 The needs of your children must always come first.
You must certainly balance your parenting priorities and maintain your relationship - and that does not mean that your children should always come first. "If your wedding goes on the back burner while you're wanting, it's not going to last," says Mendez. "It's really important for a child to see: they are loved, they are respected, they are fed, but their parents have the same nourishing nature for their relationship ... we have to show that emotional infant goes to everything the world in the family. "And for more ways to make your parental experience more enjoyable, consult these23 brilliant ways to be a happier parent.
To discover more incredible secrets about the life of your best life,Click hereTo follow you on Instagram!