Good Lifestyle

When that'scomes to date in today's world, There are some "unofficial" rules that come with the territory. Do not complain about your ex all the time, and do not try to make a social media leader before it's official is good to follow. But the only thing that makes modern meetings so different from the way she was back in the day is that there are not really many rules of stone. For example, you do not need to wait three days when it comes into contact with someone you had a nice date with or even wait for a person who interests you to ask you for a date - you can ask them! Dating today is a brand new ball game, and even unofficial rules are often broken. One thing is certain, these rules of old-fashioned meetings are now a thing of the past.

On this day and age, there are still people who prefer that men take the first gesture - but there are also many unaccused women and not registered withgo after a man they are interested in. likeJonathan Bennett, Certified Dating Coach and Co-FounderThe popular man, explains that modern women are "more empowered than ever to take charge of their relationship choices". For example, he pointsBuzz, an application of popular encounters that require women to make the first move.

Of course, it can be nice to have someone else pay your meal, but this rule dates back to archaic times when women were not allowed on the workforce. Many women choose to cover the meal themselves, or even divide the check with their date. AsAlex WilliamsonBumble brand leader explained toHuffPostShe believes that the person who requested the date should offer to catch the tab.

"In my opinion, if a person asked the other outside, this person should take responsibility for the check. But in any case, I still think it's reasonable that the two people offer to cover all or part of the Check and have a conversation on it's, "she says. "I always say to people, if you are not comfortable paying a restaurant, do not recommend it as the location of the date. If you start a date, choose a place where you would be happy to cover the Total cost of the invoice. "

In the past, women would look forward to the house for their appointment to withdraw in front of their house to go out. These days, however, you usually hear fromPeople agree to meet In a central and public place like a bar or restaurant.

Susan Trombetti, CEO ofExclusive matchmaking, advises that if you meet someone online, never let them "know where you live or work" before you know. Foryour first appointment, You should rather meet them somewhere public.

Of course, it's nice to be pursued. After all, it shows that they really care about you. But the obsolete rules had only women couldnever Be those to reach first - they always had to wait for their interest to like it or written it. Trombetti says it's not necessary in modern meetings. If you want to talk to someone, do it. As long as you "do not always do the only one to make contact first", there is nothing wrong with leaving someone knowyou think of them. On the other hand, Trombetti says if you notice that you are always the one to reach first, then it could be a sign of a more important issue.

The concept you need to wait three days before contacting someone after a date not to appeartoo much Eager to be another is ancient history. These days, wait for a long time could lead a person to assume that you are not interested, and they go to the next person. Trombetti explains that this concept stems from people "trying to play hard to get."

What is it with old meetings and three rules? Many people have heard about the third date when you have to wait at least the third dateBefore having sex with someone. But this rule once unshakable is obsolete and no need to follow modern times.

"There is no short universal time for each person. There is not even a good amount of time for a person in all situations," according to an article ofCharm. "Maybe with a guy, you could not keep your hands from each other on the first date, but then with the next, it took you months to feel comfortable. If you have your own Rule for yourself, it's good, but I think you should consider breaking it from time to time and even if you do not do it, do not assume that your rule is right for someone else. »

In the past, women have been under pressure to accept any invitation date. As the old adage says, "You must kiss a lot of frogs before finding your prince." Women were encouraged to give every claimant a chance and even if the first date did not go well, a second, too. Online dating coachEric Resnicksays it's a rule that most people no longer follow.

"When you treat in the meeting as numbers, you define a countdown clock to emotional exhaustion," he says. "You are in a crazy dash to find someone before the bad conveyor belt. Dates, you think you have to suffer to tired you to the point you do not want to try anymore. Listen to your intestine. You may not be able to avoid first first appointment, but you can usually spot 80% of them before they occur. "

If you wanted to look like difficulties and as a good potential woman, you have not been allowed to kiss a man on the first date. It made you seem "promised". And although some people can always avoid embracing on the first date, it's no longer a common practice. In fact, some people think it'snecessary to embrace a first appointment To determine if there is chemistry or not.

"I'm always going through the atmosphere"Rebecca Carvalho RecountRefinery29. "If it's a good date and we feel it, why not?" But what's going on if it's just a date if, then? "Sometimes I'm going to have the first kiss to see if there is something I missed," she says. "I think a kiss can tell you a lot about one person. It's an intimate thing - even when you do it superficially, it can be a huge call card."

Although it can be nice to let someone take the lead on a date, modern women know what they do and do not want to do and do not want to be limited to waiting for someone else to plan things . Not only that, but a meeting coachKaren McCarthy written on his website Men in modern meetings are often "waves or unclear about what to do on a date", which can be frustrating.

"If you meet online and you feel more comfortable choosing a local place, you can suggest that," she says. "In addition, if you meet a moment when you can return the favor by suggesting a Date of creation, hopefully, based on your shared interests. There are no difficult and fast rules on planning dates, just guiding principles. "

In the past, many people would strongly be cautious against the establishment of something serious on a first date or even the second or third. Keep things "Lightweight and Airy" was the key to operate things. But these days, serious conversations are sometimes necessary and a good way to decide if you should continue to see someone.

"Good communication is the secret of a successful relationship", expert in relationJames Precene said in an article forStir. "You should both feel that you are able to say and ask anything, without fear of them does not get angry. If it's a problem, you will never grow in a relationship."

In the world of old-fashioned meetings, if it did not work with someone with whom you were interested romantically or considered dating, you could not be friends with them. But in the modern world, you see friendships develop between men and women all the time - no matter the previous romantic feelings.

"He plays in what I call the heteronormative script", "Sandra FaulknerProfessor at the University of Bowling Green State, said in an article forVice. "If you operate under this script, you think every time you think of a man and women together, you suppose that it must be romantic - because of the script. It is based on the presumption that everyone is heterosexual; That romantic relationships are more important than other types of relationships. This is the worship of romance - the idea that a romantic relationship serves all your needs. "

We saw the scene in countless old movies: a young man must nervously request the parental authorization of a woman to crop their daughter, then at the end, ask their permission to marry her. While people can ask the thoughts of their parents on their partner, Bennett emphasizes that this is no longer a "necessary formality". It can be good for getting family and friends approval, but it's usuallyafter You started going out with someone, not before.

In the past, while you were still young, you will come out someone for a few months or a few years, then you get married, butJulia Bekker, expert in relation and founder ofMaven hunt, like to remind people that "traditional guidelines disappear in the world of modern meeting". Men and women are waiting for more time to find "the one" and there is less pressure to date or getting married young.

"The people of both sexes are more aware of their needs and desires and spend more time on the career," says Bekker. "[They] take their time to get to know their prospects so that they can get a more specific meaning of who the best match would be for them, which is great because there is less settlement that leads to more compatibility - and hope less divorce.

Additional reporting of Diana Bruk.