Good Lifestyle

Honesty is the secret spice of the recipe for happiness, health andGeneral wellness-But sometimes we are told to say small white lies for the good ofothers Happiness, health and well-being general. This can be confusing, right? To help you navigate how to manage the truth responsibly, we consulted therapists, scientists, researchers and other experts to find out what you should ever lie. Here's when it's worth rising toChallenge to be completely honest.

Seeds of animals Seeing like small trouble, small, so it's natural that many people keep theirs for themselves. However, this embarrassment accumulates over time - and, especially in your close relationships, pepads can turn into time bombs for an emotional explosion that is much larger than necessary. Of course, it's not easy to tell your spouse that they chew strong. But it's much easier to come back from a slightly uncomfortable conversation than an incendiary explosion over the breakfast table.

"To be openly honest with your feelings in all relations - be it family, friends or colleagues - can help prevent conflict and bad communication," says neuropsychologistSANAM HAFEZEZ ofComplete consultation psychological services At New York. "Once again, a little discomfort to deal with an early question can lead to more understandable experience of any interpersonal relationship."

It seems so simple, but many of us lie on or conceal our entertainment choices to go to the same reasons for the same reason we avoid sharing our animal seeds: they can feel embarrassing and irrelevant. So people post on books they only skim, hide the guilty shows they throw after a busy day at work and prevent their food preferences from fear that a vegan can begin a debate. All this prevents us from connecting to other people who could also love the things we love in life, whether it's dairy or reality.

"People are more frightened than ever to be honest about who they are," says the family advisorRobin Flint. "It's no longer as simple as what sports team you support, your favorite clothing store, what a hobby you do when you relax and what is your favorite movie." So, tell your friends that you likeThe single person. Order an additional cheese on your pizza. Admit that you could not pass throughThe power broker. It'll be OK.

Sometimes the base "thank you, but I am good" social signals - a clear disinterest of the conversation,light body language These signalsNope-Do is not cut off. In these cases, the honesty of your discomfort has priority to be kind. Yes, define this limit can be stressful, but it is no longer induced with anxiety than to allow these limits to push.

"If you feel threatened in any way, be honest about it," says Flint. "If you are uncomfortable for any reason, share it."

HAFEEZ accepts, warning that, "if you do not openly share that you are uncomfortable, which can help it that it can lead to anxiety while reversing to solve and prevent a situation from continuing to continue to overwhelm you."

People are lying to be sick in order to go to work so often that social scientists have invented a term for that: "presentism". As much as70% Americans are guilty of this, and most of them have naturally blamed the safety of employment; If they do not show up, what does it say about their "commitment" to the company? But this thought maintains that sick people longer, provokes other patients and, all told, costs the United States on$ 226 billion in lost productivity every year. We can all be a little more honest about this fever.

When employers are dishonest on work descriptions, it's a waste of time for everyone. These interviews are like dates of bad amadoes, exceptmanner worse for the economy. However, thanks to the rise of startups, concert economy and Hustle culture, one of the more ubiquitous work requirements has become the ability to "go with the flow" and roll infinitely with changing expectations. . Whether good for this or not for the result of a business remains to be seen, but it is not great for employees to try to maintain a personal work-life balance.

"Employers should be initiated as to the expectations in terms of work hours, production standards, vestible codes and other employee driving standards," saidBryan ZAWIKOWSKI, an executive recruiter for 25 years. "There is no room for ambiguity here."

"There are so many examples of bait hirings and switches that then lead to this new hiring that does not meet expectations or another organization quickly - all that could be avoided by being initiated and honest at the beginning "AddsBrittany Canty, a consultant and diversity defend in Chicago.

Although most people prefer to complain to their colleagues on elements of their counter-productive work or creating more work, it is crucial to be honest with your boss when you notice something that can be improved.

As it can be difficult for level employees associated with providing this - they could worry about insubordinated research to their superiors should request these comments directly and anonymously, suggestsMatthew Ross, co-owner and coo of the mattress exam siteThe Sleep Court.

Be honest when you have no idea is always better than simulating it. AsWearA postdoctoral researcher at the University of California, Davis,writingThere is a plethora of cognitive advantages to admit when you do not know something. Scientists suspect that this results from something known as the mental growth, or the idea that intelligence is something in the flow and overtime earned, rather than something that is permanent or genetic. And in many ways, an ability to admit do not knowhelp people avoid lying further.

"Do not be afraid to say," I do not know, "said psychotherapistFran Walfish, author ofThe Parent Of Self: Resolving Conflicts and Build Better Link With Your Child. "You can always come back and answer later, but you can not erase a lie."

While technology has increased opportunities to cheat, it has also increased opportunities for e-mail, credit card receipts, Ashley Madison's hacks and other paper trails. Journalists, celebrities, politicians and other high-level people have all learned this lesson in a difficult way. OfBrian Williams' infamous lies About his experience in Iraq atSteve Rannazzisi scent About the exhaust of the twin towers, false complaints often take a mythology of their own careers and integrity of compromise people. Finally, they become overwhelming and impossible to maintain.

"The problem is that when a person starts to flow and continues to get by, thelying can become a habit, "said Walfish." It is essential to immediately manage the leading behavior. "

Being honest about someone emotionally hurts you can help you get closer, while the rabat-back of pain and try to let it go full - only the distance. There is nothing wrong with hurting the feelings, but keeping that from the person who caused them to fly the opportunity to do it well. Nobody never feels better accordingly.

"Being honest about your feelings allows you to let go all resentment, bitterness or tension you feel towards the other person," saysRebecca logner, an authorized clinical social worker and a therapist in Chicago. "It gives the other person a chance to make fine fine and explain their perspective and gives both you understand how to communicate more effectively."

Be honest when you're wrong is as important as difficult - because it's not easy to recognize. When people are wrong, their brains tend to adapt self-protection, forming what the scientific community calls "cognitive bias".

"We can free ourselves with all kinds of defenses and, when we do, we train our brain and minds to distort the perception to meet our needs," explains neuropsychologistHoward Rankin, which is based in Hilton Head, South Carolina. This behavior can bring people to become more chronically dishonest in the long run, so it is important to develop awareness of these impulses and resist them as much as possible. "Saying that lies are not about ourselves and others; it's also about driving our brain to be manipulative and misleading."

It is important to be completely honest when you realize that you have screwed up. It is important to apologize, but many people try to move explicitly admit guilt when they say "sorry". Although it is a natural result and expected from discomfort, itcauses excuses to meet excuses like sincere.

"The feelings of guilt or shame can lead you to use diminutive terms when excuses," Psychotherapist NotesSteven reignsof Los Angeles. "At the receiver, it may seem that you expect them to take a percentage of blame - or your excuses have loopholes and conditions."

According to a 2019 survey ofCreditCards.com, up to 20% of Americans hide bank accounts from their others. And in 2018, theNational Staffing for Financial Education found that 41% of US adults are financially dishonest in one way or another.

But talk of money (or absence) in relationships, it's a lot like talking about sex: avoid honest and short-term conversations in the short term leads to more long-term problems. "Topics around money problems, ways that we feel disappointed with ourselves, or injured other people, are particularly submitted areas," said the psychotherapist.Dana Dovitch, which is based in Sherman Oaks, California. "It takes courage to embrace our difficulties with a personal compassion."

In order to live a happy and healthy life, people must be honest with their friends, others and their families of bad habits that serve as signs they are not going well.

"These negative models can appear with supervisors at work, neighbors, sellers and romantic relationships," says Ribeles. "A good friend can talk about it with a question of information," is now the third boss you have had problems. What could happen? "

The models of negative behaviors can be spirals very quickly in anger, anxiety, drug addiction, depression and other problems, and one of the healthiest ways to face the honor of not being ok . Unfortunately, it's a very difficult thing to admit, but it's as incredibly important.

"This transparency can be difficult because of the stigma surrounding mental health problems," saidHeidi McBain, a marriage and a family therapist in the flower mound, Texas. As with sexual health, minimizing the stigma of mental health is essential to improve our collective psychos.

Done: The more you get, the more responsibilities you have. Between work, family, friends and romance, honesty how many hours you have in the day is crucial to maintain your relationships - especially with friends. The strongest friendships are those where everyone is transparent on the fact that Hey, beers at 5 o'clock. Tuesday may not be the most practical use of time.

"Friendships grow and change on our lives and what you want and need them, but also the type of resources you are able to give them changes too," said psychologist and psychoanalystMark Borgthe author ofDo not be a ****: Change yourself, change your world. "You can improve your friendships if you are as honest as possible about the limitations you have."

You should always be honest about asserting your personal boundaries - and respect those of others. In nature, the most basic example of this is theServer-dinner relationship, since the two roles are clearly defined. The permission of the social contract, a procedure and a protocol in place to treat, say, an erroneous food order without being a total jerk on this subject.

"It disputes us the limit of being a customer and give us right in certain ways of behaving that other relationships do not do it," says Borg."It means to give your opinion on food, service and other customer services in a way that can be heard and addressed."

It is not necessary to eat a completely done hamburger because you do not want to risk confrontation with your server. Always,It is imperative to be polite, and to make only talk about foodnever Personally insult them.

In particular in the workspace, life beats many situations in which you expect to play Nice and make friends. You could find yourself at an hour's office, face personal questions like: "Do you have children?" or "What do you like to do on weekends?" But you are well in your rights of demour. When you want to keep things purely professional, it's good - essential, even in a low voice.

"This honesty prevents you from venturing more in a relationship that you are not comfortable with, ready for or just not," says Borg. "And it allows you to honor your own feelings so as not to crush too much in others."

The source of personal information can be an important way to be honest with people you want to keep at your fingertips, but the opposite is true for those you would really like to be friends. As Public President and Social WorkerBrown explained inA TED viral conversation-And later developed on Netflix SpecialThe call for courage-Vulnerability is a part of the human connection that people are fighting regularly with. Nevertheless, if you want to promote a real connection, you must let yourself be honest, transparent and yes, even a little vulnerable.

"I see so many people avoiding the actual connection, either through the veil of social media, or because we are afraid of being vulnerable with each other," says marriage and family therapistLauren Cook, which is based in San Diego, California. "If we really want to find a connection and meaning with each other, we have to be honest about how we feel."

Being honest about your intimate needs and desires in a relationship leads to deeper and more meaningful relationships - not to mention the fact that it prevents big problems from the crisis. "Sexual honesty leads to sexual satisfaction," saidTina Ticina, a psychotherapist and the author ofThis ends with you: grow and go out of dysfunction. "Couples who can talk about their sexual needs and want to become more efficient to have fun and have fun."

However, if you remember in this department, it is possible to spend fit. In such cases,Couples can benefit from the help of a therapist, who can help them reveal the truth. "The too much truth learning shock can be prejudicial to the relationship if there is no objective party involved," warns Ticina.

Although harassment can occur in any environment, it is exceptionally difficult to be honest about it at the workplace because of the power dynamics at stake. If, for example, a trainee or an employee Low ranking is harassed by a senior management member, they could feel a pressure that prevents them from speaking. What to point out to HR leads to a pink slip? How will they explain the gap on their curriculum vitae to future employers? Will they be completely pushed from the industry entirely?

Yes, honesty in such situations is intimidating and difficult - but it's all the more a reason why it is essential. "One of the most important topics to be honest and one of the hardest to talk - is sexual harassment," saidNina Larosa, marketing director forMoxie Media, an organization that provides training in sexual harassment for businesses.

Of course, the superior support with open door policies help encourage honesty on harassment, but it's not a perfect self-police system. For people to feel safe sharing these experiences, employers need to be honest about how the reality of threat reprisals is real - and they need to promise to protect their employees with remuneration when reporting bad behavior.

"We will never fixThe #metoo problem If employers are not real from prevention and accountability, and make sure that the person reporting is not in a worse place than the person who has engaged in inappropriate behavior, "saysPaula Brantner, a legal advocate for people in toxic work environments in the spring of money, Maryland.

Data oncheating is difficult to pin, because it relies mainly on honest people on their lies with social scientists. Who says, if there is a common thread when it comes to infidelity is thatThe majority of people end up becoming clean-And experts agree overcrowding it's because guilt is too much. Of course, the truth hurts, but the secret can be even more toxic. And the longest people hold it, the worst he gets.

"Keeping the secrets causes stress and anxiety, which is harmful to health because it raises blood pressure, depresses the immune system and is involved in cancer and heart disease," says Ticina. "Because the secrets are hard to keep, the problems that arise when they are discovered to increase stress."

Although there is no formal state or federal legislation not to disclose your status to sexual partners, if it can be proven that a person has been adopted knowingly and imprudently adopted on a STD, it is punishable in the civil court. And in some states,California, knowingly transmitting STDs or HIV is liable to the criminal court, with a real prison period on the table. Despite the possibility of serious legal ramifications, many people still fail to disclose because of shame. But the increasing honesty of STDs and TSIs means that the stigma surrounded them too.

"One of the most important things that people should be honest about their STI status," saysJenelle Marie Pierce, a sex educator, an activist and the executive director ofThe STI project. "People sometimes choose not to disclose before putting partners in danger and disclosure is necessary for complete consent."

If you weighed or not to be totally honest, you must ask yourself a question: "The dishonesty would change an important decision that another person has the right to do?" Living your best life does not mean everything about yourself for everyone. But thisIs Medium sharing information Others need to make good choices themselves.

"Each time deception limits the ability of the person to make significant choices, while deception probably makes more harm than good," saysTism, Professor of Communication at Deaulity, who studies deception.

For example, if you are in a relationship and you have feelings for someone else and that you keep this partner, you remember information that can help them better make a better decision. They may want to directly address the RIFT, let the relationship completely or try many other options. What is important is that they have all the Intel they need to make their choice.

"To deceive a partner of something more trivial-'y, honey, dinner was good tonight, does not increase the same level of injury," Cole declares. "But using deception to overcome a partner's ability to make important decisions about their lives is generally contrary to ethics."