20 signs that you are terrible when making decisions
It is high time that you stop being your worst enemy.
Whether it's so harmless as what shoes carry or something as big as, well, what's most of the way in, decision-making is often an intimidating perspective. And if you make the wrong choice?! You could find yourself on a career path that you hate (or worse: spend a day walking with shoes that comes fromtotally Do not work with this aspect).
But while decision-making can give a generally well-equipped adult break, it can also give power. Being able to call the shots when the time comes is an essential skill if you want to browse the world's waters with plumb. And yet, it is a skill that little care to learn - often without recognizing the detriment of this negligence can cause.
If it seems even remotely you like you, read it. We consulted a group of experts for all the revealing signs you have regularly struggling with the decision-making process. It's time to stop being your worst enemy and start wearing better shoes.
1 You are an unhappy perfectionist.
"Being perfectionist can make it very difficult to make decisions and feel confident in the decision you will end up doing," saysAdina Mahalli, a certified mental health professional. "The idea of making a bad decision consumes a perfectionist, who can lead to anxiety and shame when they think they have made the wrong decision."
Taking a decision invites a certain amount of risk, which can make a perfect panic, because perfectionism does not allow any room for surprises or failure. If this is the case for you, try to remind you that in many situations it is normal to revise or modify your decisions on the fly. You do not need to perfect things perfectly the first time.
2 You think of every little thing.
Do you choose an outfit for the evening will she send you an existential crisis? If this is the case, it can arise from a decision-making deficit. "If you are wrong to make decisions, you will find that you often decide not only decisions, but also of all aspects of your life. You can find it difficult to let things go and your mind is always lit, replay Past events, "said Mahalli.
Decisions require critical thinking, but the over-analysis at some point means that you enter your path. Instead, make your choice and do your best to move on.
3 You grew up with parents controlling.
All people with controllers do not end up with bad decision-making skills, but that can be a factor.
"If your parents or guardians were too critical or too controlling, you may never have learned to trust your own decision-making skills," says the psychotherapistChristine Scott-Hudson. "If your parents checked too much what you should study and / or select each extra-school hobby that you've gone from kindergarten through the last year of high school, you may have been challenged once You went to college and that you are responsible for your own decision-making. "
Make decisions independently for yourself is a skill that must be perceived by yourself. If you want to excel, you must first recognize that you grew up with parent control - then free you from this control. Pro Council:Start by choosing your own hobbies.
4 You are a Sisyphean-Pleasure people.
In a way to the effect of butterfly, make a way of decision, potentially, you will disappoint someone, somewhere. If you are frequently striving to make sure everyone is happy all the time, with respect to personal decision-making, you will need to define that aside.
"People who are used to enjoying people can see that they are usually bad to make decisions. They rarely had to make their own decisions because they are happy to go with everyone the wish. That's May mean that when it comes to making their own decisions, they do not know where to start, "says Mahalli.
5 You are a pro level procrastinator.
Like eating, drinking and sleeping, procrastination is a fundamental human emergency - and exponentially so for those who have trouble making decisions. "One way to avoid making decisions is to put them back until the last minute," says Mahalli. "Often, it means that they are not left without choice - because there is only one option!"
If you find yourself procrastinate, take the time to decipher why. There is a good chance that it is because you do not feel safe in your decision-making skills and try to avoid testing them.
6 You are afraid of leadership roles.
Lift a spider-man line, the great power is a great responsibility. If the idea of taking reins on a work project you lift in your boots, it can be because you are resistant to taking big decisions.
"As a project manager, I see that managers delay decisions for fear of what the result could mean or fear that they do not have all the data," saysElizabeth Harrin, a blogger of project management and the author ofProject Manager: Careers of IT Project Management.
7 You have major confidence problems in itself.
If you feel unsecured on yourself, of course, you will feel unsecured from your decision-making. "People who can not make decisions often lack self-confidence," says the psychiatristVinay Saranga, M.D. "They do not believe enough in themselves to the point where they struggle to decide things." The key is to remember that when it comes up, no one knows you like you to do it. If you choose a choice, chances are it's, it's good.
8 You never give yourself deadlines.
If you are growing your choices further and further ("I'll understand it tomorrow ..."), it's a clear sign that you have trouble making choices. Fortunately, there is an easy way to fight against such a decision-making discomfort: treat each choice as a mission and give it a deadline.
In fact, Saranga even suggests going so far as to offer a forced time limit. "Tell you that you will decide in one way or another in 20 minutes, an hour or all that works for you," he says. "Set a literal timer and, when the alarm goes out, force yourself to choose."
9 You consult your friends on every little shot in your meeting life.
It's good and even useful - to listen to your friends' advice when it comes to going out with dating. But at the end of the day you are responsible for yourrelationships And therefore, you should finally be the only one to make the decisions about them.
"Any decision in dating or relationships is a personal person. If you find that you are constantly going to your friends to help you take your relationship with your relationships, you have someone to blame when the relationship does not work," says Mahalli. In other words, count on your friends for concrete relationships of relationship is a total copy. Listen to their advice, but make the decisions yourself.
10 You takeforever for preparing.
We all knowthis Nobody: They will be ready in 10 minutes ... 45 minutes ago. Whether you are this person or not (we will kindly leave you to keep this secret), there is an easy trick to stop the practice once and for all: Start running a complete list.
Whenever you catch yourself (or, um, a friend) spends the best part of an hour by choosing an outfit, write the date and write aX next to that. If you (or, right, your friend) simply ends with the very first hold they have selected, write two xs. After a few weeks, take a look at the list. Chances are, you (or your friend!) Start seeing a lot moreXxS thatXs. This should lead to home the point to always go with this first outfit.
11 You have not valued your own opinion.
"One of the most obvious signs you may not be good for making decisions if you simply let others make decisions for you," says Mahalli. "Although this is correct to receive comments from others, you should have an inner voice that also has an opinion. If you can absolutely neglect this voice and let's blindly take the advice of others, you do not actively decide anything. "
Whether in professional or personal life, you can hear can be intimidating - but it's something you need to work actively if you want to start calling the shots. The first place to start: Stop adjusting this voice in the head.
12 "I do not care" is your answer.
When someone asks you what you would like to do, you will find yourself automatically by saying something, "It's up to you to choose", then be disappointed when the evening finally led to something you do not like? It is a sign sure that you do not want to make decisions, even when you want you to be able. Say that you do not have an opinion or if you want your opinion to a decision can become a habit of not giving much to think, so try to be more present when asked what you would like .
13 Tasks as small as deciding where to go for dinner give you anxiety.
These days, especially if you live in a metropolitan hub, it may feel like you're presented with too many restoration options to count. (In fact, take it from a recentNew York Times report, "there may betoo muchMany restaurants. ") For those who struggle with decision making, it can easily cause panic. And if you get food in a new place and that's rotten? Or badly tasted? Or, worse of all, is not a big enough enough?
The thing to remember is that unlimited food options are a good thing! Instead of panicning on the pure potentially delicious food at your fingertips, turn it into play. Try to avoid repeating the same restaurant in a period of 60 days. The worst case, you have a bad meal or two. Best case, you find a group of new incredible places for Chowler.
14 You are likely to avoid.
Yes, humans are customary creatures. That said, if you're stuck in a rutting rut, it may be because you have trouble making decisions. The risks both great (leaving a stable job to pursue a passion project) and small (try a new breakfast spot) require a certain level of choice and commitment. So try to take dive from time to time. Do not think of the bad things that will happen if a choice does not fail. Think about how rewards will be great if it will do it.
15 You have trouble talking about your interests.
In small discussions, interests and preferences are often present in the conversation. If this chatter makes you close, it may not be because you do not have interest, it may not be willing to decide what they are. Give yourself the free space to determine what they are, then hire a small conversation might not feel so painful.
16 You hate planning events.
Making plans requires a complete decision-making chain, especially when you put an event. You must choose a place of visit, a list of guests, decorations, refreshments and on and again.
Yes, being responsible for an event naturally comes to some, but to others, it causes wild anxiety. If you are in the latter camp, remember that, no matter you launch, it will probably go out without trip. After all, there is a factor that can not be fucked: people love people. Get a lot of them in a room together and they are forced to have a good time - no matter how much the favors of the party are.
17 You have an involuntary fear of making the wrong decision.
"Some people appear that not making a decision better than making a wrong decision, which can lead to a passive indecision," said Mahalli. If you want to flee the decision-making will bring you a relief, it's time to practice doing the opposite. As a force training regime, the more effort you eat in decision-making, the easier it will be. Neglecting this muscle, however, will only result in atrophy.
You leave the decision-making process get in the path of activity.
Maybe you are the kind of person who thinks they should be in charge of decision-making, but then takes thingsmanner too far. If you take if long research activities and places to go, as you choose one, everyone is tired and annoyed, you may not be as good as you think. Excessive things are never in good health, so do not forget to be aware of the time you allocate to make a decision. (Twenty minutes should be more than enough.)
19 You do not trust your intestine.
We are told to always go with our intestine, but it does not come so naturally to everyone. If you follow your instinct looks like a challenge, you probably need some practice. It makes perfect, after all. "Some important life decisions require significant consideration, but when it comes to less significant choices, trying to go with the first thing you feel," says Saranga.
What else,Recent research suggests Your intestine is in fact connected to your nervous system. In other words, if you have an "intestinal feeling", it is almost certainly correct. Trust.
20 You live life by the pulling of a coin.
Making decisions on the basis of which side of coins on your palm does not make a decision at all. It's a total copy. Let this movement in Batman nasty and try to create your own destiny.
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