Good Lifestyle

Grandparents as a group have a reputation forspoil, pinging tons of toys and praise. But if some of the words you tell your grandchildren - even thosemeant only as compliments-Seck all wrong? The words import, so it is important to make sure that those you use when you talk to your grandchildren land as lovingly as you intend. What about whatnotTo say, professional coaches, counselors and therapists have reached a consensus:The worst things to say when talking to your grandchildren involves comparing them to other family members-Who it's their parents or siblings or cousins.

Compare your grandchild to their brothers and sisters or cousins ​​is not always intentional, but it can always sound like that. Consider this example posed byFelicia Brocolo,COACH CERTIFIED LIFE From the school of the coach of life: "[when you say]," Susie is intelligent and Emily is pretty ", do you think you gave a compliment. But any Susie heard is that she is not pretty and all Emily heard is that she is not intelligent. "

Similar prejudice can come fromcompare children to their own parentseven when you mean it as a compliment. "We could say," You are even better for that your father, "or" your mother was not a stove, but you are, "explains the psychotherapist andrelationship advisor Dan Auerbach. "These are examples where a grandparent has placed unprocessed feelings on their relationship with their child, who is now a parent, on their grandson. It can be very confusing to a grandchild who tries to establish Their own identity and is brought to some unprocessed feelings between grandparent and parent. "

Do you want more tips on how to avoid saying something you will regret your grandchildren? Continue reading! And for more advice at grandparents, here is theSecrets nobody tells you to become a grandparent.

If you think you would be a better relative to your grandson than those they have acquired, keep that yourself. And not just because it could be injured in the parent, but it could also affect your grandson too.

"Grandparents can sometimes think they know more or better than their childrenWhen it comes to parenthood, "saysDanielle Friedman, Certified Mental Health Advisor withFree space. "Although they believe that this is true, the communication of their dissatisfaction with parenthood in front of or their grandchildren could send the message that it is not good enough. They criticize not only parental techniques of their child, they also criticize the result of these techniques ... also known as a grandchild. "And for more words to keep for yourself, checkIt's the word you should never say when you apologize.

The feedback from grandparents on the eating habits of their grandchildren or their type of body can stick to life. "I had more than a few clients talk about how critical comments of a grandmother have become aCatalyst for chronic regime and body shame, "Explaintherapist Erin Grumley. "It can be assumed that these grandparents had the best intentions, but critical comments on the body at a young age can have long-term effects."

According to Grumley ", this is even worse when there are financial rewards to lose weight or shame around food choices, like" Do you really want to eat that, darling? "

The establishment of a secret structure teaches bad lessons on honesty and open communication with dear trusted beings. "A better alternative:" ask or talk to mom and dad before we do, "saysJessica Sweeney,Mental Health Advisor And the founder of Counseling Sunglow.

And yes, it goes for examples as seemingly harmless than eating candy in the afternoon because it sends the same message on the obscuration of the truth. And for more mistakes, grandparents do, checkThe only word seniors should never say.

Or other variants of the same message, as, "there is no reason to feel like that" or "you are dramatic." Feelings are real and grandparents should emphasize that children are safe to express themselves - and are encouraged to do so. Instead, try, "It's going to have feelings, I'm here," suggests Sweeney. Or something like: "Emotions can be very big, I'm here for you." And for more advice on what to say and what not to say, Sign up for our daily newsletter .