The worst thing you can tell an old friend
Avoid this painful trap and oh-so-clumsy if you reconnect with someone from your past.
The last seven months have all done a lot of soul excavations. When you sat at home for days in the end with little to do, you may have decided to reconnect with people who once meant a lot to you - a global pandemic will do this after all. Cornreconnect with an old friend Can lead to a flow of emotions. It might even knock out your guard enough to say something in a clumsy involuntary way - or just injuring. Of course, you know not to say to someone how much weight they have acquired or comment on their graying locks, but there are other seemingly harmless words that you would be subject to pronounce in this situation that you Do not just should not. So, what is the worst thing you can tell an old friend?"Do you remember the good old days?" Read it to find out why these words can rush and for another time to choose your words carefully, checkIt's the worst thing you can tell someone who has lost his job.
It can be easy to assume that everyone in a group of friends remembers money in the same way - but it's not always the case. The great moments of a person could have been painful for another.
"Many of us can wear ashamed about our behaviors, decisions and interactions, especially during our teenager or our young adult years in which we are always really to know who we are," says the professional advisor approvedLeah Rockwell, founder ofRockwell Wellness Board.
Rockwell says you should rather "share a positive memory you have or a reminiscence on a former teacher or a connection before allowing things to move on to" memorizing the conversation ".
She notes that if your old friend engages in this type of cat, "you will have got good signals that it will be a comforting conversation, rather than for a potentially more embarrassing for you two."
You want more advice supported by experts on what does not tell an old friend? Read on and for another situation in which you have to watch your words, checkIt's the worst thing you can tell someone who has just divorced.
"I have not heard of you for ages."
The fact is that people lose people all the time, and it's good. Often, both parties are responsible for drifting, then placing the other person's home may be unfair and uncomfortable. Beyond that, you never know what people are going through.
"Calling an old friend is not an easy thing to do," saysSandra Glavan, the founder of Sandi Super Sensitive, a website forHelp people reduce and manage anxiety. And this is particularly true in our current era when anxiety is high. "Anxiety is the question of the most common mental health in the world today. Treat with an anxiety disorder can make you feel tired, overwhelmed and eager to do the basic tasks of life," says Glavan .
"In addition, anxiety is characterized by excessive and irrational concerns," she adds. "People who struggle with this mental state tend to feel guilty of not spending time with people or calling them." And for more times to pay attention with the language,It's the worst thing you can tell someone who is mourning.
"Did you get married?"
The question of marriage can be "your deaf and impolite", saysAuthorized psychotherapist Christine Scott-Hudson. "First of all, it assumes that the other person wishes to get married. They may have just broken with someone and are still in the emotional pain of emotional pain. They can feel unlimited and worried that no one loves them . "
And there is also a wide range of other possibilities. "They can be involved in a person who did not approve, like a similar partner, or a person who practices a different faith from the family, or they can be polyamores," she continues. "It's not because someone is single does not automatically follow that the person is not in a significant relationship ... and the meaningful relationship could be with herself." And for more important major advice you may need, to discoverThe only thing everyone should know before turning 40.
"Do you have children?"
Similarly, you might be tempted to ask your old friend of babies, but stop. "Do not assume that this is just a relaxed and easy subject for people," says Scott-Hudson. "You have no idea what difficulties and challenges can have closed doors."
Maybe they did not want children, they may have exhausted every fertility treatment available, or maybe they even lost a child. "Do not ask questions about this sensitive topic," says Scott-Hudson. "Just not." And for other issues to avoid at all costs, checkThe slightest thing you can ask someone, tell the label experts .
"What pass for you?"
When you talk to an old friend who seems worse for wear, take pain to avoid letting you have noticed. Offer help if appropriate or solicited, but do not only do the pain. "This question is extremely prejudicial," says the author and life coach Aidan Park . "This implies that there is something wrong with an old friend. It is better to establish a certain type of security in the connection."
He adds that "any declaration that triggers a sense of judgment or that something is wrong with them has a counter-effect in the creation of a safe environment". And for more useful advice delivered in your inbox, Sign up for our daily newsletter .