Good Lifestyle

Relationships are funny things: a partner can be cruising along thinking, everything is fine and dandy, and the other can rush inside as a poingettia after the new year. One of us isOf course, we are on the right track, while the other wonders, "Why do not we talk anymore?" And more often than no, it is the female cohort that dies for more communication, more privacy, a more verbal recognition than you are attached to happiness. That's why there are some sexy things that you can tell a woman who means more for her than a "I love you".

The reason is simple: women are communicators. Studies suggest that the average woman speaks 7,000 words a day. The average male cursed only 2,000 people. It is this divergence between our verbal styles and its needs that can transform an once hot relationship and filled with sex in yesterday's oats.

Want the proof? A 2000 study cited from theWashington University Reported that researchers could predict with a 90% accuracy if couples will divorce or stay married simply by listening to speaking for a few minutes. After reviewing data of more than 500 couples, psychologistJohn Gottman, Ph.D, And his colleagues have created a mathematical model that can predict the probability of divorce. They enter the "Dow Jones Industrial Industrial Medium for Domestic Conversation". A 5 to 1 ratio of positive comments to the negatives indicates a healthy marriage, they say. A ratio lower than that suggests problems.

A simplified rule is therefore to speak more, to share more and be more open with your emotions. Here are some points to say who are sincere, significant and will get important and loving conversations.

1. "I'm so glad we found together."

Each long-term relationship is a celebration of two people beating chances. The greater the two of you, the more you will know the couples who did not do it. Consider an investigation requested from 2,000 women for the key factor to decide whether or not they slept with a partner: forty-six percent responded to "know where the relationship is directed." Return his desire and assert how much it means for you, focus on the commitment you have brought to it. The house, the children, the wedding album - they are all always there, but it also needs spoken evidence.

2. "I understand how important it's for you."

Women evaluate the health of a relationship of how they think they understand them well, saysMark Elliott, Ph.D., Director of the Institute of Psychological and Sexual Health, in Columbus, Ohio. And one way to communicate understanding to your partner is not to be born to action whenever she expresses her concern about something - a common masculine fault. Instead of saying, "Here's how we solve that," listen to it simply and recognize that you understand his concern, even if you do not agree with that. Listening and understanding are powerful validations of your respect.

3. "Let me tell you how my presentation went."

When she asks how your day went, she does not want to hear "good, and yours?" She wants details, not a highlighted coil. To maximize efficiency, framing things in terms of emotional reactions: "I was nervous when they did not jump on offer, but I felt excited when they realized that I was right." "She needs to hear you talk about your feelings better than you can. You'll be amazed at what revealed your feelings can do for the level of intimacy between you," saysParrott III, Ph.D., The author ofLove talk.

4. "Let's talk about Jenny's notes tomorrow. Tonight should just be about us."

When you have two single people, focus on that. In bed, focus on the other and the time as much as possible, whether or not it leads to sex. "Do not bring critical conversations in bed. These are some of the most important minutes of your relationship every day," says Parrott.

5. "I fantasize to make you feel good."

Here is a shocking shock: with regard to sexual fantasies, women are more selfish than men. In a 2004 survey of theUniversity of California in Santa CruzOf 85 men and 77 women aged 21 to 45, more than two-thirds of men reported having fantasized about pleases their partners, while more than half of women have fantasized about their own pleasure. "Women concentrate on themselves in fantasy because in real life, the pleasure of man is hierarchical," said the author of the studyEileen Zubriggan, Ph.D. Key to the fantasy of your partner; Tell him his knowledge is your order.

6. "Put the 14th of your calendar; I leave you."

Give your wife's sexual calendar by timing his menstrual cycle, suggestsScott Haltzman, M.D.the author ofThe secrets of fortunately married men. Then the time as a result your romantic weekends. Ovulation increases the testosterone rate, which makes some excessive women during their fertile days most. Science: a study of 68 sexually active women published in theJournal of Human Reproduction revealed high levels of testosterone and a 24 percent on averageIncrease in the frequency of reports During the 6 days preceding ovulation at each woman. Calculate the beginning of this magic window by counting 2 weeks after it starts its period and subtracting 6 days.

7. "I'll make you a bath. »

"Many women need a transition period between dealing with the stress of work and family life and the sexual feeling," saysIan Kerner, Ph.D.., The author ofShe comes first: guide of pleasuring man thinking a woman.

"A few minutes of Foreplay are usually not enough. After a few years together, men tend to start Foreplay shortening, but the woman takes an average of 27 minutes to reach orgasm. A hot bath is a good place to start.

8. "You deserve a long weekend with your girlfriends. I will look at children. »

A study conducted in 2004Purdue University found that long distance couples have less trivial arguments than couples who live with each other. "Because their time together is so precious, [long distance lovers] really make an effort for the reserve time for the relationship when they see the other," explainsMary Carole Pistole, Ph.D.., Associate Professor of Psychology of Orientation at Purdue University.

9. I adore your freckle ".

In order to feel sexy, a woman must first feel beautiful. "Women are the intimacy of words," says anthropologistHelen Fisher, Ph.D., From Rutgers University, the author ofWhy we love. "You look beautiful" is a good comment. But the follow-up by compliments on something that is unique to her, like his laugh or his freckles. This ensures that you find attractive, as opposed to all the other women in the room.

10. "I always thought it would be fun if you did not use your hands. »

During the times when both you are on the ground and you want to make things happen at a higher level, remember to push the limits a little. A recent 2000 survey revealed that two out of three women were interested in light slavery. The key is to keep the positive of the adventure. "Do not suggest that you want because sex has been cultivated," says Elliott. "When you make like something fun as you want to try, it's getting a good time, do not fix something that is broken. »

11. "Show to let children our honeymoon photos. »

Your wife to remember that you share common features, whether it's a date of birth, a passion for Japanese architecture, or your spot will be preferred vacation light for you, suggests research published in the journalPersonality and social psychology bulletin. There is even a scientific term of the phenomenon: "implicit egotism". This means that we humans are attracted to things and people who remind us of ourselves.

12. "I'll meet you in the room after folding the linen. »

In a study of 3500 people finished in 2003, researchers of theUniversity of California in Riversidehave found that men who have done the most domestic tasks were more sexually attractive to their partners than the husbands who rarely or never encamped around the house. Once again, women react to verbal signals: it helps to speak nonchalantly every time you feel the desire to wash, dry, or fold.

13. "The terrible time. Let me go for children to daycare. »

Women prefer companions who are protective and heroic rather than reckless and risk taking, according to a study published in the journalEvolution and human behavior. In the study, which focused on 52 women, the researchers described the fictitious men who decided whether or not to climb a steep mountain, the only trip to dangerous terrain, or jumping into a river to save a child of drowning. Most of the topics said they admired men who have taken heroic risks, but are not very impressed by fans adventurers of strong sensations.

"A woman wants a companion who will survive to continue being a supplier and protector for her children and she," explains the author of the studyWilliam Farthing, Ph.D.Professor of Psychology at the University of Maine.

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