40 best tips for women over 40

No, it should not feel so discouraging.


Hitting the dating scene in your fifth decade can feel so ... complicated. After all, there are probably children in the photo and behind each potential partner is a pure life of the romantic experience (and a much longer trail of exes). But we would say that none of this is a bad thing. In fact, if you encounter a forty-thing, you are guaranteed to be wiser, better meet, better to know what you want, and much less impulsive and sensitive to rejection.

That said, if you are recently single for the first time in a long time, you may not know where to start. So we exploited meetings experts and compiled the best dating tips for women on the Middle Ages Cusiny, which you will find here. (And if you live in anyThe 50 cities with the best meeting scenesThese rules are particularly applicable.)

1
Accept that there will be good dates and bad dates

dating tips

To be realistic. "And remember the rule rule: the bad dates are closer to a good," saysSTEF SAFRAN, a matchmaking and meeting expert and owner ofStef and the city. If this is a first date, however, make sure you do not ask any of the20 questions that you should never ask a first date.

2
Know your circuit breakers

dating tips

Especially since they might be different from when you were in your 20 and 30 years. "When you know what you will not tolerate, it's easier to see intelligently," saysMasini of April, a new York-based relationship and a label expert. "For example, if you do not want to go out with someone who has children, you will simply save time by saying that no to anyone who wants to go out with you and already has a brood. Same thing for money , religion, and lifestyle. Forget judgment - just be faithful to you and you will succeed at the meeting. "And if you take online dating, make sure to know the30 pies phrases to use on your profile.

3
Do not badmouth your ex

dating tips

It's just a mediocre form at the beginning of the stages of a relationship. "It's a big off and it shows that you have not exceeded this relationship," saysElliott Katz, author ofTo be the strong man a woman wants: Timeless wisdom of being a man. "The man you encounter can have an ex-spouse who is already badmouth; he does not look for another." And for more essential dating tips, do not missthe20 signs that he will make you ghost.

4
Write your "type" on a piece of paper and burn it

dating tips

"Of course, we can all have had a" guy "that attracted us in the past, but to find aquality partner, it's time to grow, "saysLaney Zukerman, a coach of the relationship and the author. "There are many potential partners who are diamonds in the rough. It's not always easy, but think outside the box." And for more sincere advice, know the40 secrets of couples who were married 40 years old.

5
Do not write someone before meeting them even

dating tips

"Many women who have been out for a long time arriving on the date with some hypotheses because a man" seems "like someone else, they came out," saysSamantha Daniels, expert in relation and founder ofThe meeting showApplication of meetings. "Try to get to know the man in front of you instead of comparing it to men in your past."

6
Do not be bitter about the "age" thing

dating tips

"Just because there are younger women available does not mean that a man will choose a" noteMegan Weks, dating and relationship expert. "You get what you expect in life, so if you are there, you decide to it, you will also appear desirable on the basis of your inner beliefs."

7
Make sure you areTruly Ready to go out

dating tips

"Too often, women over 40 are rushing into the meeting because they are used to being in a relationship," saysMONTE DRENNER, an approved advisor and a consultant. "They feel like you need one or they are pushed prematurely in the meeting scene with well-meaning friends or family. I always encourage customers to make sure they have cured the wounds Previous relationships before pursuing another. "

8
Do not hide who you are on dating applications

dating tips

"If you are overweight, have wrinkles, no matter, do not post an online photo 20 years ago," advisesJane Coloccia, author ofConfessions of an online dating addict."A guy will appear at a first date to wait to see this girl - not the woman you are today. Just accept yourself and go with who you are now. When you own who You are now, you will be in a much better place to be in a truthful, honest and open relationship. "

9
Try not to take things personally

dating tips

"Meetings may require difficult skin. Start developing one now," RecommendRenée Suzanne,A meeting coach. "Just a stranger is online, it's really from you. Having a life of fulfilling love is worth supporting a few setbacks. Hang there!"

10
Do not be afraid to make the first move

dating tips

"The most important thing that a woman over 40 can do to increase his chances of meeting a great guy consists of initiating contact with a timid guy," saysRichard Gosse, author ofDonald Trump syndrome: Why women choose bad men to love. "Forty percent of the American population is shy", according toDr. Phillip Zimbardo, Director of the Stanford University Shyness Institute. "It is millions of guys who rarely meet women because they are too shy. There is very little competition for these graduates - and you can have your choice, if you are willing to make the first gesture."

11
Look for someone with similar basic values

dating tips

"Usually, the more commonly the couples on the main areas of life, the more they will probably have a successful relationship," saidDr. Wyatt Fisher,An authorized psychologist in Denver, CO. "As a result, spend time finding someone similar to yourself."

12
Know what you are looking for

dating tips

"Many women are looking for a" good "partner but did not define what good looks like," says Drenner. "The more clear that" good "is defined, earlier your will will be able to eliminate those that do not match the criteria."

13
Do not count on self-depreciating humor

dating tips

"It's very easy to come back to humor when you are nervous, but you have to make sure it's not at your expense," saysLaura bilanta, a meeting coach and the Matchmaker in Toronto. "Even if you really look, your date can you perceive to be very negative and deal with self-confidence."

14
Treat yourself well

dating tips

"You do not have to engrave the cover ofVogueBut you have to strive to be your best, unique one single, "says Masini. It means doing exercise, eat well and take grooming habits that you like - ordinary pedish, if it's your thing.

15
Meet his friends and family

dating tips

"Seeing how someone interacts with his friends and family will tell you a lot about who he is as a person," saysMonique Honaman, the author and the expert in relation. "With so many dating scams and people claiming to be who are not, it's a great way to see for yourself that the person you meet is authentic."

16
Show that you have learned past relationships

dating tips

"Everybody makes mistakes. This recognizes your mistakes and showing that you have learned from them and you are a better potential partner for that that will make you attractive, "Note Katz.

17
Bikini

dating tips

"You may have a big body, but your attempt to show that you are incredibly hot in your neighborhood 40 is not the best way to be taken seriously," saysRhonda milrad, LCSW, related and founding therapist of the online relations community,Rational. "Your date objective you even before meeting you and thinking of putting yourself naked rather than knowing you."

18
Do not be defensive

dating tips

There is nothing wrong with being single in your forties, so no need to act as there is! "Do not forget that the man of your table is" still single ", so do not be embarrassed or uncommonly ease of your own meeting status," suggests Daniels.

19
Join more than one dating site

dating tips

"If you catch birds, would you like to place your bird seed in many places or do you have it in one place? Your chances of meeting another increase when you are more visible, then do a risk and put You there, "advises WEKS.

20
Do not stress if the first date is not fantasy

dating tips

Do not be luxury to be fun. "The meetings are expensive for both parties and men also want to make sure that the person they like to stick beyond the first dates," says Safran.

21
You really need to put you there

dating tips

Chances are, love is not just going to fall into your knees. "Singles hated this advice because they want the universe to provide," says Gosse, but this standard dating directive is really true.

22
Do not settle

dating tips

"Women over 40 people sometimes convince that there is not much good opportunities for a future companion on the dating scene after 40 years and therefore is content with the first good candidate," says Drenner. "Too often, they make the" intelligent choice ", which means a good potential partner who cares, rather than" heart choice ", which is someone they love." So go ahead and hold for someone you really like, really love.

23
Be careful

dating tips

"If you meet someone online, be sure to spend several weeks knowing them first via emails and video cats", suggests Fisher. "It is also recommended to make a background check to ensure that they do not have a criminal background and are not already married. If all checks, make sure to keep your first public dates and bring your own mode of transport to optimize your safety. "

24
Open to older guys

dating tips

"I know that a man aged 55 or more might seem like your father, but it's actually your contemporary now - especially in the world of meetings," said Daniels. "The age is only a number, then give him a chance."

25
Do not talk about your children constantly

dating tips

"If you have children, do not make your life and your conversations about children. Men want to know that you have a life outside your children, who will include them," says Coloccia.

26
Ask for advice

dating tips

"Choosing another potential partner can be an extremely difficult process. I recommend to women to form a" committee "of confidence counselors to help them navigate in all the difficulties of the search process of another partner," said M . Drenner. "These members of the committee can help identify areas of concern and help prevent errors." In other words, go ahead and ask your friends and family what they think of your new potential partners and encourage them to be honest.

27
To be open to different family configurations

dating tips

"Frequently, when meeting 40, different scenarios come into play, such as co-parenting and step-parenthood relationships," says Honaman. "It may require flexibility because you work" I have children this weekend "or" dates "with children involved. I found women who frustrated by the scenario" I have children this week -end "because it can mitigate their spontaneity and they lose this time once so important when the meeting, but it could also mean that the next weekend is a weekend" without children "."

28
Define the limits and apply them

dating tips

"So many women (and some men) think about their borders and yet accept unreasonable demands when they think they meet" this one ", explains Zuckerman." If you accept the unacceptable, over time, This is a disaster recipe! Know what you want and will not tolerate in a partner and no matter what you hold your soil. "

29
Be honest about your matrimonial state

dating tips

"Many married but living as a single imbecile themselves and other people who think they are legally single," says Masini. "When they have discovered that they are not, all the underworks are unleashing and allegations of sleeping and cheating are thrown. Do not forget that if you are married but you are married. If you are married and single, you Are married. 'Re Married. If you want to go out with you-day, at least be honest with yourself and those you meet. But the best of all, if you want to be single, make sure you are legally. "

30
be proactive

dating tips

"If you think that love had to" arrive "or it is not supposed to be, it's time to rethink your dating plan," says Suzanne. "Think about it, you got where you are in life while acting, do not wait for destinies to abandon the things you want to your door."

31
Clearly indicate that you can take care of you

dating tips

As a rule, it's a good idea to project that you are autonomous when you encounter older men. "The man you encounter may have children he supports," says Katz. "It probably does not look for another dependent."

32
Have a man snare your meeting profile photo

dating tips

Seriously. "David Ian Perrett, an expert in human attraction science, revealed that men systematically evaluate photos of women taken by a man as more attractive as the photos taken by a woman, "saysScott Valdez, founder ofVida. "So, if you invest in Pro Photos for your dating profiles, book a masculine photographer, and if you take occasional snaps with friends, put your phone back to one of the guys."

33
Do not bother the luggage immediately

dating tips

Register it for subsequent dates. "Your ex or a guard battle can be a lot of your life, but it's probably better not to let it control your conversation on your first dates," says Bilotta. "You want your appointment to learn more about you and what makes you well, and you want to know more."

34
Treat dating like a marathon, not a sprint

dating tips

"For most women over 40, the dating scene has changed a lot since their childhood. The majority of women I support underestimate the time, effort and energy it takes to find Someone they really want to be with, "says Drenner. "If they are prepared for a long process, they are more likely to continue persevere rather than paying or smoking."

35
Know it's good to have to be single

dating tips

"Take the time to be alone, be comfortable being alone and with yourself, and decide what you really want to get out of your next relationship", suggests cullets. "By specifying who you are and what you want, the right person will appear."

36
Limiting time with friends who have a negative perspective on love

dating tips

"Stay positive and surround yourself with people who have a positive perspective and believe in love," recommends to Weks. "Negativity is contagious and it's the whole one one last thing you need around you when you Meet. "

37
Do not be afraid to change it

dating tips

"Many people end up coming out of the ruts by going to the same places and seeing the same friends all the time," says Daniels. "Try new places, touch other friends for configurations or try a new dating application and see if it can help you meet new men."

38
Consider dating applications if you do not already have

dating tips

You might think they are aged 18, but in reality, they are rather perfect for people of all ages. "Tinder and Bumble are fantastic because you have to express your interest in someone before you can contact you," says Suzanne. "It means you will not have a inbox filled with men's messages that you will never want to meet again. These applications are not only for fittings. Real couples meet every day."

39
Let things take some time to "become serious"

dating tips

"Make sure you keep your options open until you know that this man wants what you want and wishes on a similar chronology," Weks said.

40
Go get help if you need it

dating tips

If things simply do not seem to go to your way on the dating scene, do not hesitate to recruit a professional. "Ask an expert, spend time doing activities that you like without worrying about meeting someone, take a break and put new images every three months," saffron advises. "Do not forget that everything will need a break and that's going if you need help."

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