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There are many amazing things about being married: knowing that you have chosen a partner of life, to have a constant companion and get a teammate forever. But it is also undeniable that even the most incredible marriage is not exempt from challenges. Some of the obstacles you will encounter are completely out of your control (health crises, loss of employment and family dynamics, just to name a few), but many are totally preventable if you know what to look for. In advance, discover what are the experts of the relationship the most common mistakes that married couples occur, as well as how to dodge them. And for bigger wedding notices, here is here30 things rights couples can learn gay couples.

Listen, because it's a big one, people. "Couples are so comfortable with each other that they stop remarking and appreciate all that their partner is for them and the relationship," saysRhonda milrad, LCSW, relationship therapist and founder of the online relations community, RelationsUp. "More importantly, they stop recognizing and expressing gratitude for their partner's efforts." So the next time your spouse does something nice for you, know that a simple "thank you" can go a long way. And once your relationship is back on the right track, considerThese great ways to clean up the bedroom.

It's not a secret for anyone that money is often a topic of discussion in weddings, but some of the friction around the money can be resolved by simply saving more. "Money is an integral part of a wedding and it is very tempting to jump into the" married lifestyle "with beautiful cars, a beautiful house and beautiful vacation instead of building your emergency fund and save enough for retirement ", noteScott Carroll, M.D., author ofDo not adjust: how to marry the man you were intended for. Save a priority from the beginning for less stress on the road. For many practical ways and easy to save, know these18 Secret sellers do not want you to know.

Plan a wedding is fun, but the planning of your wedding is much more important. "Couples do not talk about their future goals, how they deal with problems such as finances or in-laws, and they do not create a plan to work together," saysAmy morin, Psychotherapist, Speaker at the University of the Northeast and Author. Instead of focusing all your energy on the act of getting married, spend some time talking about what is happening too. And for more long-term advice, do not miss the50 worst glitches of worst that lead to relationships.

All the good cop, bad coping thing can go too far. "This happens most often when children are involved, but it can happen with a family and expanded friends," saysJustin Lavelle, Director of Chief Communications on Wastverified.com. "It is important that the relationship has like a unified front. Undermine the discipline, the decisions relating to the plans or just the general principles of the relationship will bring a resentment and anger between the two. Make sure the differences are discussed at the Private advance so that the decision is a consensus. "

Which means they are too quick to leave when the situation becomes difficult. "It seems so easy for couples to call it leaves today," saysTiya Cunningham-Sumter, a coach and a certified blogger. "Marriage is a commitment that comes with its good days and bad days. Couples must stay invested and committed even when things feel a little funky." For help, read the5 ways to know that she is the one that is.

"No matter how the structure of your relationship, a person can not answer all your needs," saysKait Scalisi, MPH, an educator of intimacy. "Have a strong community of friends and family strengthens your relationship."

Sexual questions, but it's not thealonething that counts. "The stress often in the relationship will be reflected in a decreased sex by one or the other," saysKenneth Jedding, LCSW, a psychotherapist and an author. "Sex will drop and flow in a long wedding and, frankly, a long wedding, so good, will be about love more than sex." In short, sex is not all and the end - all your relationship, so that should not be the only way to measure the success of your wedding.

Just because you're married does not mean you should stop trying. "So many people feel that once they have found this one, that they do not have to put in the relationship in the relationship," saysSTEF SAFRAN, a dating expert and matchmaking. "Romance and brokerage is something that people often say they miss when they get married. Do not forget to show your partner that they are special with words, gifts, romantic gestures." Do not just take us.Take it from Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez.

They say that couples the best friends last forever, and there is a good reason for that. "I have dates of my customers together who are not typical dinners and a date of cinema," saysSunny rodgers, a clinical sexologist, a certified sex coach and a privacy advisor. "Couples have to work on the construction of their friendship, which will lead to a solid foundation for their partnership - and can help keep them together for a life."

"In discussing too little can be as serious as discussing too much," says Carroll. "Holding in all your frustrations lead to a resentment or if you try to block your frustrations of your conscious mind, it enters your subconscience where it causes all kinds of psychological and physical problems. That's why it's so important to learn To learn Suguez well healthily in a healthy way, you do not take low cost and you are not afraid to chat - and even discuss the problems you need. "

"Many couples enter the control dynamics, either trying to dominate the treatment of financial problems, expenditure habits or the way of lifting children", notesSteve Mindel, J.D., a certified family law specialist and a director partner of a law firm. "Keeping a healthy relationship, the goal is to strive to balance. Sit together and decide who becomes the captain of what." In this way, you will each have your own domain for a say.

Many couples can benefit therapeutically earlier than expected. "As they see a wedding counselor, they seek permission to divorce," says Morin.

"At the beginning of the relationships where everything is hot and new, sharing fantasies and be experimental can be an integral part of the navigation process-each," saidShula MélaméNew York Relationship and Wellbeing Coach. "Over time, some married couples can rest on the laurels of all this story instead of pursuing the conversation as years and progress of the relationship."

There is no sugar sugar: marriage is difficult. "Sometimes couples forget that there are imperfections in life, in people and yes, in marriage," said Cunningham-Sumter. "Their spouse has defects and make mistakes, like that's okay. This must be correct. Marriage is the real problem; This is not a test race or a fairy tale. It's two real imperfect people trying to make life and love work. "

"Many couples make the mistake of trying to spend too much time together and this time, inevitably, does not represent quality time," saysDr. Jess O'Reilly, The sexologist resident of astroglide. "If you spend all your working time with your partner, you were required to find yourself in dull and repetitive activities, such as running shopping, watching your phones or surf the web." It's pretty boring, and if you're bored, it's not an excellent sign. Taken fromThis amazing couple who has been married for 70 years.

"Couples often make the mistake of not paying particular attention to the slow, physical, intellectual and experiential disconnection, but in progress," saysJulienne Derichs, an authorized clinical professional advisor. "They do not realize the many subtle ways they turn" rather than turn to "their S.o" "it can lead to chronic disconnection, what snowball in a much bigger issue. "Couples need to find consciously and deliberately to find ways to connect with their partner every day and in a meaningful way in their unique relationship."

Self-improvement should not stop once you get down in the driveway. "Learn to know yourself well," suggests Scalisi. "What triggers an intense emotional reaction? What parts of yourself do not you like? Where can you be happier? You can find someone to help you on this trip or do it alone . "

Some old dictions on relationships are just not true. "In their quest to never go to angry bed, couples make up without really getting ready," saysChris Armstrong, a coach and a certified author. "Instead, couples should take a night of a break and agree to talk about things in the morning. This gives them the opportunity to talk when they are probably more awakening and less gross emotionally."

Although the experts say that too stressful on sex can cause problems, do not have sex at all, another major problem. "Sex is at the same time a normal and healthy desire and a critical means of emotionally collage that must be constantly renewed," says Carroll. "The product link gender is not just conscious, it is mainly unconscious through the limbic brain system and is mediated by pheromones and neurotransmitters and neurotranspids such as dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin." In other words, even if you do not think you need sex to feel close to your partner, you probably do.

"Of course, it might not be as exciting as these first dates, but you have to keep it fun or otherwise you are condemned," says Lavelle. "Make sure you have something to wait impatiently. Maybe this is a monthly night or annual vacation date, but do it and do it."

Allowing others to get a great involved in your wedding is never a good idea. "It's good to have some advice - occasionally - for your wedding," says Cunningham-Sumter. "However, no one has more power, insight, knowledge or to say about a relationship that the couple actually involved. Married couples must communicate with each other and make decisions that work better for both only."

Although it is certainly possible to spend too much time alone, it is also quite common to neglect your couple when life becomes crazy. "Frequently, married couples become so lost in their careers, their children or their extracurricular activities they forget to spend time with each other", noteMonique Honaman, the author and the marriage expert. "When the job ends, the children move and they do not play tennis several times a week, they are left to look at each other and wondering who this person is. Stay involved and do things together. Spend time alone. Spend time alone. This is an excellent modeling to your children about the importance of focusing on the other to be a stronger married couple and better parents. "

Obviously, cheating is bad, but couples often think they can work to forgive and forget what happened. In most cases where there was betrayal, it is very difficult for the partnership to heal and take a lot of time, "said Milrad. "Many couples are not able to rebuild a sense of trust and security in the relationship."

"It can drive a corner between a married couple," saysVikki Ziegler, Celebrity Divorce Lawyer, Related Expert and Author ofThe pre-matrimonial planner. "The wedding is to compromise and be vulnerable, so you have to let yourself go from your ego and your cop to your mistakes - otherwise it will derail your wedding."

This could be easier than explaining how you feel something, but you use this sentence, you can cause sustainable damage too much. "This statement" I do not care "is cavalically thrown and which couples do not know that this unconsciously erods the foundation of their relationship" Notes Rodgers. "Rather than counting on this simple sentence at once complicated, I suggest couples to say how theyreally feel about a situation and why. "

"Instead, they ignore them," says Morin. "In the end, these problems grow bigger and bigger and they become much more difficult to treat." Treat with problems as they arise so they do not come out of control.

There are many distractions in today's world, making it more important than ever so that spouses have really listened. "Place your smartphone, take out the computer or turn off your TV and give your partner all your attention by taking all the nuances and word - and how it is said," Mindel suggests. "Lack of listening can engender the marriage And the abandonment of depths begins, or at a minimum, people begin to strengthen resentment. Listening is the key, all around. "

Most people know that about a wedding hoping that your partner will change is a pipedream, but it happens more than you expect. "The only person you can change is yourself, and this includes your reactions to your partner and how they behave," says Scalisi.

"Initially, most relationships circulate easily, but it's because there are so few expectations," saysMONTE DRENNER, an approved advisor and a life coach. "The longer the relationship lasts, the more expectations." So, why does it become more difficult as long as you are together? "The reason is simple: if staying together was easy, everyone would do it. Once a couple will realize that it is normal to have to work in a relationship, they can settle and do the work necessary to the growth relationship. "

Many couples feel that sealing the agreement with marriage suddenly erase the problems of their lives or relationships, but unfortunately, it is almost never the case. "Being with someone does not solve our problems, and if we expect our lives to be radically transformed, we will tend to blame consciously or unconsciously to blame our partners for what we have brought to the relationship and who n 'It's nothing to do with them. "says Jedding.

"In the best relationships, partners work as a team," saysSamantha burns, a couple of couples and a dating coach "This means that there is a" factor "instead of a factor of me". This comes into play with decisions as small as what needs to be done during a weekend given to those who have been as big as they leave a job or buy a house. "Consult with your partner shows that you value their opinion, you care about their feelings and you have in mind. Ofrtimes The conflict stems from different expectations, so it is essential to sit down and communicate Directly so that you can define and agree on expectations around decision-making and avoid future conflicts. "

Whether it's a harassed mother-in-law or a better friend who continues to go beyond, it is crucial to fix borders as soon as possible in a marriage. "Instead, couples do not know," says Morin. "In the end, these problems grow more and bigger and become much more difficult to treat."

"You may not always agree with your partner's opinions or behaviors, but it is important that you approach threatening people and obstacles as a unit," says Burns. "You are a team and you have to support your partner when he or she suffers from pain. A common problem that I see in Counseling couples is when a partner feels self-evident or injured by the family of their partner. You should not have To choose between your family and your partner, but you should have the back of your partner and make you asserting by addressing disrespectful behavior. "

Both feelings have key roles to play in a healthy marriage. "I'm trying to remind customers that no matter what, they love each other," says Rodgers. "It's good not to love you all the time, as long as they can remember that their relationship is based on love."

"If you wait for you to be in the mood to have sex, you may never do it again," Note O'Reilly. "This is because many of us do not have the experience of spontaneous sexual desire. We do not work all day, do dinner, clean, help children have to have, put them in bed, listen to our friend complaining about the traffic on the phone then jump into the bed with an intense desire to have sex. Instead, we will skip in the bed exhausted and exhausted to sleep. Couples who always have sex after 25 Years or more wedding include this: sometimes you have to be excited before living before living desire and it's perfectly normal. "

This may seem odd to continue making dates from each other even after many years of being married, but the experts say that continue to do dates can lead to greater privacy and increased, even for long-term spouses dated. "As lives become more busy and routines are defined, spontaneity planning is one of these seemingly oxymoronic must in engaged relationships," said Melamed. "Make sure to create unique and special experiences in this designated time as well as fluffy catch-up dinners."

"This happens most often with finances," explains Lavelle. "A spouse will result in debt or other obligations without the first consultant with the other, and that almost always leads to a premature discovery and a struggle. Be honest and frank in your spouse and discuss problems, financial or otherwise, before becoming a problem. "

It seems basic, but it's more common than you think. "I hear that so often couples in crisis," says Honaman. "Even if it emptied the dishwasher or it takes laundry, husbands and wives must be recalled to show the appreciation of the other for things that are made to support or support the house or family . "

Many pairs are surprised to know that this is not the right gesture. "It should never be the case," says Armstrong. "It should always be that your spouse is number 1 and your children are 1a. When spouses are number one, the two partners will feel supported. Thus, allowing them to look at the lives of their children more fully and together. "

It's a hard habit of breaking, but a sentence is worth it. "You must be present and find time to watch and talk with each other instead of looking at your phone 24/7 - especially in bed!" Ziegler says.

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