The real reasons why breaks have so hurt, according to science

They say that love is a medicine. Is proven, it's.


Anyone who has already been in love knows that the break is painful, especially painful, especially if the end of things was not your decision. Course of pain through all your body, and your heart feels like fire and cold cold at the same time. Maybe you can not stop crying, or maybe you are so depressed, you find it hard to get out of bed and motivate yourself to do anything at all. You are consumed with an overwhelming and constant feeling of intense loss and deactivation, and you can not stop thinking about the person who disappeared. If the condition is bad enough,It is even possible to die from a broken heart.

And one of the things that makes the whole process more difficult is the fact that we tend to feel guilty, angry or embarrassing in the way we feel terrible. "Why can not I just stop it?" You think of yourself. "If they do not want you, so you should not have," Tell your friends. But the brain does not work this way.

The good news is that science is on your side here because there are a variety of reasons based on research for the reason why breaks hurt as much as they do. You can check them below and if you cross a break yourself,Try to listen to this music playlist that scientists organized to heal a broken heart.

1
It's like a dead

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When a close friend or a family member dies, no one expects you to rebound in a few weeks. But one of the things that makes the breaks difficult, it is because you tend to get a relatively short amount of time to cry, after which people act as if you can not let go and go to your life. Some might even be exasperated and say something in the sense of: "It's not like anyone who died."

But the truth is,according to the experts, the way people emotionally treat breaks are very similar to the way they deal with a sudden death, which is why we cross the same five stages of grief: denial, anger, negotiation, depression and acceptance.

2
Love is an addiction

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InWhy we loveorganic anthropologistHelen Fisher argue that Romantic love can be just as much dependency on any other form of addiction. Romantic love floods the brain with well-being hormones such as dopamine and rewards the borey centers in the same way as a really powerful drug. That's why lovers tend to experience intense desires for their desire and feeling willing to give up anything to be with them or even die for them. Although this creates a remarkable feeling of euphoria when we are in fact with them, it also means that we can experience the same withdrawal symptoms as someone who tries to break a hardcore drug addict.

Some of the most convincing evidence that love is a medicine is that when Fisher and his colleagues conducted an innovative study on the people who crossed a recent break, they found that their brain scans seemed remarkably similar to those of a cocaine addict. And as a toxicomaniac passing through the withdrawal, you may feel ready to do anything to get another "hit" of the person, even if you know it will make it more difficult to become clean in the long course . For what it is worth, however, a recent study states that in some casesIt's good to sleep with your ex.

3
Your brain is hungry

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One of the other interesting conclusions of Fisherbrain sweeping study Was there an increased activity in the caudic core, a region associated with the detection and expectations of the reward, as well as the ventral ingredient area - the brain reward circuit.

When you are with your lover, your brain's reward system is constantly satisfied. But when you no longer see the person, your neurons are still waiting for this reward. Even if you know you're not going to do it anymore, it takes a little while your brain is catching up.

4
You can not see clearly

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Another discovery of Fisher's study was that when we fall in love with love, parts of the brain that are related to negative emotions, a critical assessment of behavioral features and an assessment of reliability become disabled. To this extent, Chaucer was right when he said, "Love is blind." Fisher believes that our inability to see the defects of our object of affection stems from our need to tie someone long enough to reproduce,That's why this blind euphoria pays about 18 months. Your body essentially gives you a deadline to reproduce, after which it allows you to see the person for their warts and all.

"I think romantic love has evolved to allow people to focus their mating energy with one person at a time, preserving the course of coupling and energy," Fishernoted. "It's not conducive to real life to live in this state for 20 years, because you can not think of other things, you do not forget what you do, you probably do not eat properly, you You certainly do not "sleep well and you run through ups and downs ... I think the attachment has evolved to tolerate someone at least long enough to raise a child together."

The problem is that if someone breaks with you while you are still in the phase in which your brain disables your ability to postpone faults, you are likely to continue to idolize, no matter how your friends continue to say they are. The good news is that it goes and possibly you can see them for the jolts they really were.

5
The pain is physical

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A growing body of research seems to suggest that we make too much cultural distinction between physical pain and emotional pain. For example,A recent study revealed that emotional relief Whether you feel during hand on hand with a loved one can actually alleviate physical pain.

Unfortunately, the opposite is also true. InA 2011 studyThe participants were presented photos of their exètes and found that the images stimulated the same exact parts of the brain associated with physical pain. According to the document, the results indicate that "the rejection and physical pain are similar not only in that they are both distressed - they also share a common somatosensory representation." That is whysome studies have even shown that Tylenol's appearance can be a bit effective to deal with a break.

6
The parasympathetic nervous system is activated

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Most of the Heartbreak studies focused on the brain, but some scientists believe that the sensation we identifies like Heartbreak also has to do with the hormonal trigger of the sympathetic activation system (which controls the combat or theft response) and the parasympathetic activation system (which controls the rest-and-digest response).

"In a somewhat opposite way when we face a threat, the refusal active our parasympathetic nervous system", "Neuroscientific Melissa Hillto crushThe New York Times. "A signal is sent through the wave nerve of our brain to our heart and our stomach. The muscles of our digestive system contract, making felt as if there is a pit in the deepest part of our stomach. Our ways breathe, making it more difficult breathe. The rhythmic beat of our heart is slowly slowly than it looks, literally, like our heart breaks. "

7
It is evolutionary

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When crossing a break, it is not uncommon to feel suddenly alone in the world, even if you have the support of family and friends. You could feel anxiety and an irrational feeling that you are in a kind of mortal danger. Some scientists believe that it is because, back in the day, be rejected or separated from your tribe is really a crisis of your ability to survive, and we have not yet threw this crucial feeling.

"From an evolving perspective, we know that camaraderie is a primordial reader"Guy Winch, psychologist and author of recently releasedHow to repair a broken heart,told in the middle."Can you imagine if a member of a clan has disappeared and none of the other members of this tribe felt the need to look for them or not to feel the pain of separation?"

8
Your dreams are pointed

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One of the worst things about the end of a serious relationship is that you need to achieve that all the projects you have encountered for your future will not happen.

"When you build a romantic obligation, you are talking about common dreams, ambitions and goals. You have mutual respect, and you focus your attention on each other. These human attachment obligations, once formed, are extremely strong, so it can take a lot of time to detach from this person and, in some cases, there will always be remains of this link ","Bianca acevedo, a neuroscientist expert and love,told in the middle. "Not only can sorrow may feel like a devastating emotional experience, but when you suddenly become single, it may have the trouble to lose part of yourself by investing in the process of this merger or relationship that was produced. But socially, we are still dealing with it in the same way as [for example] someone who is passing. So, allowing you to mourn and take stock of what s' Past is crucial. "

Research on romantic love is always in its infancy, but there are two main imprints that have been sufficiently proven as being true. The first is that, on a scientific level, you are fully justified to feel so terrible as a person addicted to the drug or a person who has lost a loved one or a newhal who suddenly found him alone to nature , so do not let someone convince you that you should "overcome it."

Second, time heals all injuries. So, no matter how much it hurts now, you can be sure, in a short time, your brain chemistry will come back to normal. And you'll just be fine .

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