Good Lifestyle

We all experienced this moment of delicate silence. This happens even in a gathering of old friends. There is a lull in the conversation and no one knows everything to say. You want to save everyone from clumsiness, but your mind is empty. You do not want to eliminate something stupid because it makes the moment more terrible and grumpy. But if you had a game plan - an infallibleto joke, a lining, say, who could suck all the tension of the room, why, you would be a hero! You would be the chest of your social circle, the one that could be counted to say the perfect thing at the ideal time for everyone to feel a little less uncomfortable and stupid. If only you had planned in advance and if you had some liners in your back pocket, ready for every time you need it ...

Relax, we have your back. Here are 60 funny, intelligent and oh-so-smartOne-Liners which are perfect for any occasion. COMPE TO THE MEMORY AND YOUAsk your friends to laugh So strong, they will not even remember why the conversation had been delayed in the first place.

Intelligent doubling to have on hand

1. "The light takes place faster than the sound. That's why some people seem brilliant until they open his mouth."
2. "I always take life with a grain of salt. In addition, a slice of lemon. And a blow of tequila."
3. "I do not have a beer drop. I have a protective cover for my abstracts of rock."
4. "I read recipes in the same way that I read science fiction. I'm going to the end and I think," Well,it's It will not arrive.'"
5. "Discussions of money. But the whole mine has already said is goodbye."
6. "Knowledge is to know a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom does not put it in a fruit salad."
7. "Life is like a bird. It's pretty cute until she caca on her head."
8. "I'm skeptical of anyone telling me they make yoga every day. It's a little stretching."
9. "I do not have a girlfriend. But I know a girl who would really be angry if she heard me say that."
10. "A computer beat me once at the scale of chess. But it was not a match for me in Kickboxing."
11. "I have a lot of growing up. I realized that the other day of my fort."
12. "Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. But teach a fishing man and you saved a fish, is not it?"
13. "We have enough young people. How about a smart fountain?"
14. "A clear consciousness is usually the sign of bad memory."
15. "My therapist says that I have a concern with revenge. We will see about it."
16. My first experience with cultural shock? Probably when I playful on an electric fence. "
17. "Worries worrying! More than 90% of the things I'm afraid of never happening."
18. "I do not have an attitude problem. You have aPerception problem."
19. "Money can not buy you happiness? Well, check that, I bought a good meal!"
20. "The easiest moment to add an insult to an injury is when you ring someone's vote."
21. The problem is not that obesity works in your family. The problem isanybody Works in your family. "
22. "You do not need a parachute to do parachuting. You need a parachute to do parachutingtwice. "
23. "Letting go of a loved one can be difficult. But sometimes it's the only way to survive a climbing disaster."
24. "A positive attitude may not solve all your problems. But it will interfere with enough people to put it worth it."
25. "Always borrow money from a pessimist. He will not expect it to return."
26. "Build a man a fire, and he will be hot for a day. Fix a man on fire, and he will be hot for the rest of his life."
27. "Knowledge is power and power corrupt. So look hard and be bad."
28. "Is not it strange that everyone automatically supposes that the GOO in soap dispensers is always soap? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a lesson of confidence."
29. "I was indecisive. Now I'm not sure."
30. "Women should not have children after 35 years. Really, 35 children are enough."

The best funny paths

31. "Going to the church does not make you a Christian more than standing in a garage makes you a car."
32. "It's never a good idea to keep both feet firmly on the floor. You will have trouble putting your pants.
33. "The change is inevitable - except for a vending machine".
34. "Why does anyone believe you when you say that there are four billion stars but check when you say that painting is wet?"
35. I do not suffer from a madness. I appreciate it every minute. "
36. "What is the difference between a North fairy tale and a southern fairground? A fairy tale North begins" Once upon a time ... "A southern fairy tale starts" You're not going to believe that it ... " "
37. "The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's always on the list."
38. "There are three types of people: those who can count and those who can not."
39. "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."
40. "At each party, there are two types of people: those who want to go home and those who do not. The problem is, they are usually married with each other."
41. "If Walmart reduces prices every day, why is it not yet anything in the store?"
42. "The easiest work in the world must be coroner. What is the worst thing that could happen? If everything goes wrong, you may get a pulse."
43. "I have all the money I'm going to need - if I die at 3:00 barely this afternoon."
44. "A TV can insult your intelligence. But nothing rubs it like a computer."
45. By trying to fight fire with fire, always remember ... The fire department usually uses water. "
46. "You are so good friend that if we were on a ship sinking together and you were just a lifejacket, I miss you so much and talk about you with tenderness to all who asked."
47. "The early lift could have the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
48. This is my step scale. I never knew my real ladder. "
49. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Otherswheneverthey go."
50. "It's not the fall that kills you. It's a sudden stop in the end."
51. "Feeling enough proud of me. The puzzle I bought 3-5 years old, but I finished it in 18 months."
52. "Just burned 2,000 calories. This is the last time I leave the brownies in the oven during my nap."
53. "My boss will dismiss the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it could be me."
54. Do not trust atoms, they constitute everything.
55. Have you heard of the guy who was struck in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
56. "I was addicted to the Pokey Hokey ... but fortunately, I turned."
57. "When I lose the television controller, it's always hidden in a remote destination."
58. "Most people are shocked when they discover how bad I'm like electrician."
59. "My first job was working in an orange juice plant, but I had the can: could not focus."
60. "My mathematics teacher called me average. How bad!"

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