23 ways to be a more pleasant person, according to mental health experts
These advice supported by experts will help you start the kindness in no time.
Every time youdo something nice about someone- it holds the door open or buying a stranger a cup of coffee do you arecool And make the world a little brighter. Even internally,to stay positive And treat both yourself and others with compassion goes a long way. So, there is no time as the present to start doing small but effective changes in your daily lives for better yourself and the world around you. And if you're not sure how to start, we're here to help you. We consulted the best mental health experts and coaches of the whole country to learn the easiestways to be better To everyone in your life ... from now!
1 Start every morning with positive affirmations.
Place the tone for each day withsome positive affirmations. As a licensed mental health advisorBrittany A. Johnson notes, "kindness is an inner job, so you must start by beingnice with yourself. "
2 Be aware of others.
With everything that happens in our lives, it is easy to become concerned about thoughts of our own problems, constraints and our busy schedules. However, we are surrounded by people with their own problems, stress and their busy schedules, and a person who is a nice person isTo pay attention this side.
"Being aware of those around us and what happens in their lives, we can be more attentive to their needs and be there for them when they pass problems or encounter problems," explains the relationship and the therapist sexChristopher Ryan Jones, Psyd.
3 Pay it forward.
You probably know the principle of "paying forward" "the idea that if you are the beneficiary of a good action, instead of doing something nice for the person who has helped you, you can reimburse the act of kindness to others instead.
According to Jones, it is only the kind of thing that can motivate someone who is down. "You never know what people are going through their lives and what difficulties they face," he says. "Make a little gesture - as pay for someone's food can be aForm of very special encouragement to someone."
4 Or commit to doing an act of kindness once a week.
Challenge yourself to keep a schedule of doing something nice for someone at least once a week. "Make a list of 52Random autores-What is sure to includenice acts directed towards you Similarly and cut the list into 52 pieces of folded paper. Drop them in a small basket or ziploc bag and every Sunday, remove a ", suggests a strategist of transient lifeRandi levin, Owner ofRandi Levin Coaching. "It's a little step towards a habit of kindness."
5 Never assume that you know what people think or feel.
No matter how you think you know someone, it's important that you do not try to guess what they feel internally. If you suppose someone is going well and they are actually upset, you miss you an opportunity to comfort and console them. And if you suppose they are crazy or angry with you without really asking you, you risk treating them with unnecessary hostility.
"Be open to discovery, listen to what is said, and be a central time in your answers," said Levin. It's a big part to become moreemotionally intelligent Nobody, who is often closely linked to kindness.
6 And assume the best intentions instead of the worst.
"Instead of assuming the worst, for example," this person leads so fast because they are selfish practices that give the other person Grace-'T 'is driving quickly because of an emergency or not to make hypotheses at all, "saysEmily solderan authorized therapist and an owner ofLLC nesting space. Give people the benefit of doubt will help you be a kinder person and to mitigate some of the anger or anxiety you feel during the manufactureNegative hypotheses about someone.
7 Make an effort to listen more.
"A way of being gentler is just listening," says the stress relief coachFowler sandy. "The human connection is essential for our well-being." And when you listen to someone, Fowler says not to emphasize "on how you react or try to solve their problems." Instead, "listen to them and validate their feelings."
8 Show someone you remember things that are important.
"If you really want to make someone feel good, remember something that is important for them. Prove them that you pay particular attention to wishes well for the beginning of their new job or Ask how the diet will come, "saysEric Rittmeyer, an expert with emotional intelligence and author ofThe emotional navy. "Not only does it make them feel an instant connection with you, but it shows them tooYou are someone who really cares. "
9 Mouse more.
You want an easy way to brighten someone's day? Give them a small smile. "Not only [smile]make you happierbut it also makes others around you happier, "says the professor of conscienceTina Williamson. "Smile is infectious!"
10 When you have something nice to say, tell it!
As for the advice "If you have nothing nice to say, do not say anything", you would be wise to practice the opposite of this sentence. In other words, if you havesomething nice to say, go out it already.
"Complimize someone's character," says Williamson. "Maybe they are funny, reflective or generous. Tell them!"
11 Send more handwritten letters.
Express your feelings through an old pen and paper in a digital world can be a very powerful gesture. "In our world of shortcoming information, taking the time to cope with a note is very significant," says Williamson. "Goodness knows we could all use a little more meaning in our lives!"
12 Use the name of a person when you talk to them.
You can really make a difference in someone's day simply using their name when you interact with them. "Look at the name tags wherever someone is wearing one and uses it to say" Hello "or" Thank you ", says Certified Professional AdvisorJessica Formicola. "The personalized touch is sure to make people smile."
13 Say "Hello" to people.
Say "Hello" to friends, family, colleagues and even random passers-by. "Most people would be surprised by the amount of impact that saying" Hello "does," says the coach of life and the approved acupuncturistJamie Bacharach. Welcoming people when you see them for the first time "promotes feelings of positivity, camaraderie, kindness and heat."
14 Be better in the environment.
Being a more pleasant person does not just apply your interactions with people. According to Bacharach, it is also about respecting the mother nature and to do your part inbe more ecological.
"One of the most important means in which we can all be more kind people in 2020 isbe a nice with the environment"she says." This means making more ecologically friendly choices as a consumer, recycling to the extent possible and encourage others to behave in the same way. "
15 Look at the things of other people's prospects.
When you want to be more friendly and understanding, it helps to look at things from other people's perspectives. "Often, if we can see from the point of view of [another person], it's much easier to be nice," saysLisa Quilt Doane, PhD, a clinical psychologist based in Cleveland, Ohio.
16 Think about the benefits that are nice for you.
If you are always about to say something to say or hurting, just remember all the benefits that those who are nice for you. "If you can call the heat and the connection, you might feel aftergive a good compliment Or even simply cut someone soft, you can quickly motivate yourself to act gently, "says Doane.
17 Be humble.
It's hard to be friendly and sincere when your ego is in the way. That's why the licensed therapistPink skeetrs ofProsper: spirit / bodysuggests putting it aside if you want to focus on the kindness to move forward. "Cut this ego at the edge of the curve by resisting the desire to always be right, admitting when you are wrong, asking and accepting advice and give credit to others," she says.
18 Be more positive about social media.
As you are probably well aware,Social media is full of negativity and the content inducing stress that is only oneLack of service to your mental health. The good news is that you can easily serve as lighthouse on social platforms while keeping your flow to be more positive. "Post encouraging quotes and do not be allowed to participate in the division," saysAmanda Ponzar, a health and well-being expert in Alexandria, Virginia.
19 When you see an anxious person at a party, talk to them.
When you see someone at a social gathering that looks uncomfortable and worried, trying to engage them in the conversation, says psychologist in BaltimoreCathy Sullivan-Windt, PhD. Even a brief little conversation could make this person feel more comfortable for a few minutes, which is a greater trick than it may seem.
20 When you are angry, take a few seconds before answering.
Fight with people you likeis never easy, but that happens. And when you have a TIFF with a loved one, or anyone about it, for the sake of kindness and civility, it is better to follow the "six second separation" rule.
"It is scientifically proven that you can take six seconds to recalibrate your thoughts," saysMimi bishop, a life coach and co-founder ofThe spirit at rest. "When my clients stand in the short term, I ask them to buzz the words of" living on a prayer "of good Jovi. It works!"
21 And remember why you like you closest to you.
While you take a few seconds to gather your thoughts beforeEngage in an argument Or express your feelings of frustration towards someone, try to remind you of all the positive feelings you have for them apart from what you feel at that time.
For example, "If you want to scream your husband for having left the laundry stack, think about a time when he brought dinner at home," says Bishop. "It frees positive chemicals into the brain."
22 Turn your negative thoughts into positive.
The next time you find yourselfthink about something negative About someone, make a conscious effort to compliment them instead. "If you notice that you have a negative thought about a person, like" I can not stand the way she always interrupts, "see if you can find a positive thinking to think, like" she spoils the best chip chocolate cookies! '"suggestsRainfall, speaker of conscience and author ofIlluminated meditation.
23 Be kind to yourself.
Since it's a crucial part of becoming more kind to others, it is repeated: kindness begins inside. If you want to be a more pleasant person, it meansbe kind to you, too much. "Treat yourself with compassion, think of positive thoughts on yourself and treat simple pleasures, such as taking a bubble bath or read a good book," says rains.