17 things you should never do during a conversation
These are the questions and comments to avoid being a good convertism.
Everyone has a unique conversation styleBased on their personality and preferences. But if you want to make sure your conversation goes well, some rules apply universally concerning not onlyWhat you speak, butHow? 'Or' What You talk about it. Whether you talk with a colleague, an occasional knowledge, even a family member, here are some of the things you should never say, ask for or make in conversation.
1 Tell someone how they should or should not feel
When someone opens up to you how they feel about a certain situation, do not invalidate their emotions by telling them that they "should not feel so. "The fact is that they feel as they feel if you think they should or should not," explainAmanda Stemen, Mrs., LCSW, a licensed therapist in California. Judging someone for their feelings will make them feel worse, so just be a shoulder to cry and remind you that no one can control their natural emotional responses.
2 Apologize when you do not feel bad
"Often, we apologize more accustomed andIt's uncomfortable for everyone"Said Steven. She urges you not to apologize for something" unless you really have violated your morality and your values and you feel guilty. "
And when you can, try to replace a declaration of apologies withgratitude. "I'm sorry to be late", for example, could be modified to "thank you for waiting for me." As STET Notes, this small change "does wonders for the report in a conversation."
3 Tell someone they are wrong
Even if you know that what someone says is inaccurate, you should avoid telling them that they are "false". "No one likes to be wrong, so that will close a person quickly," says Stephe. "Stay calm, provide factual evidence and be open to the hearing from a different point of view will move the conversation much more productive."
4 Explain in detail how busy you are
Even if you have aapparently never finely to make the listIt's not something you should raise in conversation. As a strategist of transitional life and expert from reinventionRandi levin Explains: "Give someone laundry list of all your commitments and obligations to demonstrate how busy you are a negative turn on abundant life." In any conversation, you want to "lift others and make them feel important" and "your list of things to do [list] is not part of this equation."
5 Speak instead of listening
Nobody wants to talk to someone who barely speaks. However, it is just as inconsiderate to speak so much that the person on the other side of the conversation can not get a word on the edge edge. "People need to remember to listen so much - if not more than they speak," said Journalist and Expert LabelNick Leightonpodcast hostWere you raised by the wolves? "Dominating conversation and do all the conversationis rude. "
6 Use original pronunciations of words just to sound sophisticated
Are you the kind of person who goes in a French coffee and orders akwasoninstead of aKruhsant? If this is the case, Leighton urges you to keep these pronunciations at least during the conversation to avoid aggravating others.
7 Ask a knowledge of what they do in life
This could seem sufficiently harmless to ask for an occasional knowledge of what they do in life, but the Sighton emphasizes that this question can severely. "Some people do not do anything or choice or choice," he explains. "If the answer naturally happens in conversation, then super. But do not force it."
8 Or on their personal life
"When are you getting married?" "When do you have a baby?" "Are you pregnant?" All these questions are personal questions that you should avoid asking for a conversation with someone you do not know so well or have not seen for a long time.
"A sure bet is to keep it simple," saysChristine Scott-Hudson, MA, MFT, ATR, an authorized psychotherapist and a wedding and family therapist in Santa Barbara, California. "Let the other person fill you on their details as they wish."
9 Ask someone if you are bored
"He is rude to ask explicitly," I'm bored? "" Explains Leighton. In addition, he says, "If you feel as if you have to ask this question, you are probably."
10 Talk about all your achievements and possessions
"Transform a conversation into part ofThe price is correct In enumerating all your recent acquisitions is pretentious and boring, "explainsJodi R. R. Smith, the label consultant behind Mannersmith Consulting Label in Massachusetts. Just because you are super enthusiastic about your new sports car or flat screen TV does not mean that the person with whom you're talking to too.
11 Avoid small discussions
Most people avoid small discussions because they believe he will not make sense without meaning and dull. However, Smith says that if you know how to properly use this type of conversation, it can actually be one of your most valuable tools.
"Goods are practiced when participating in the intriguing creation of creation while ensuring sharing with their conversation partner," she says. The only "real pussy conversation", according to the expert, are "personal wealth,health failure, WhereYour last obsession to eat. "
12 Gossip
Gossip could be fun in the moment, but that will only hurt the feelings of people in the line. In addition, "gossip make chatter appear," saysTina B. Ticina, Doctorate, psychotherapist and author ofThe Dr. Romance Guide to Find Love Today. "When you are tempted to talk about someone else, use the advice of your grandmother: if you can not say something nice, say nothing."
13 Criticize
Keep all the critical thoughts you have during a conversation to yourself. "If you have atendency to be self-criticThis will probably dump and criticize the other "Notes Ticina," and criticism pushes people away. "
14 Commentary on someone's appearance
Avoid saying an occasional knowledge ora colleague at work How much do you worship their outfit or lovetheir new 'do. Although you can (and absolutely should)compliment others, giving praise too personal to someone with whom you are not closed can go out as inappropriate.
When you mean something nice,Jennifer wearing, a teacher of the ways and a label trainer in Seattle, explains that you should "find ways to do so that did not judge [either] positively or negatively. Tell something like", it's so great about see you so happy! I can say life treats you well. '
15 Roll your eyes
"Resist all forms of eye roll", urges the porter. "Even in a tense conversation," you wantBe the best version of yourself In order to "both show respect and never regret your behavior".
16 Swear
In all conversations, La Jure is a no-major. There arethousands of words in the English language Better to specifically communicate emotions than the cursing words. When you feel the desire for the curse, bringing itself that you should "find a substitution word that you like what is not offensive and allows you to transmit your feelings really."
17 MAKE ACCOUNTING COMMENTS
Whether you conquer with a colleague orDispute with your spouse, being passive-aggressive, is just as bad as being attached to the outside. Even if you think your aggression is subtle, "people have aHigh level of emotional intelligence And they know when the person in front of them is sincere and friendly [against] the opposite, "saysMaryanne Parker, founder of the Company Manor of Manner label. "This is just a sophisticated form ofnegative and intimidation. "And for more ways to conduct your ways, here is17 things that polite people never say.
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