22 signs that your children are too spoiled
Do not let these ungrateful behaviors follow your children in adulthood.
Every child can act from time to time recognizing from time to time, whether it's a bigger ice cream cornet or the willingness of their parents to have a new expensive device. And with many children struggling to regulate their emotions in the light of the new modifications of their routine courtesy of thecoronavirus pandemic, tensions at home are required to be particularly increased at this time. However, if these behaviors less than Gentiles are not an occasional event, but a state of being constant, there is a bigger problem to play - you have a spoiled child.
I do not know if that applies to your family? With the help of mental health experts, we gathered the signs surefire that your child is spoiled. And if you want to improve your relationship with your children, learn the16 ways of experts say that parents ruin their relationship with their children.
1 They can not stay heard "no".
While few people like to hear the word "no", if your kids simply can not tolerate not to make their way, it's a sign defreate, they are spoiled.
"The best step of determining whether a child is spoiled or not a child is how they trust access to something they want," says the therapist of behaviorJessica Leichtweisz, CEO ofHope Education Services.
However, Leichtweisz says that if you continue to work, things could change. "Tolerate" No "is like a muscle building," she says. "The more the children hear it, the better they arrive there." And if you want to keep your relationship with your little healthy, be sure to avoid these25 things that parents should never tell their children.
2 They do not hide their disdain for gifts they do not want.
Graciously accept a gift that you do not want is an important skill to learn - even for children - and if your children do not master it, the odds are they because they are spoiled.
While most children know how to show their appreciation even when they do not like a gift, "spoiled children tend to be angry and reagent or not reactive," says the approved marriage and the therapist of a family therapist.Nicole Arzt, which serves on the Advisory Board forPassionate.
3 They refuse to follow rules.
Although all children break rules from time to time - a behavior that can increase frequency since your children spent all day with homes spoiled at home, often do not believe that the rules apply to them at all .
Arzt says that most children respect the rules of their parents because they understand the potential consequences ", tend to spoiled children to know that they will be activated or sung by someone", even if they do not do it . And if you want to keep your relationship on the regular layoff, pay attention to these50 children lies say that parents always fall for.
4 They have frequent angry attacks.
Anger attacks are a normal part of childhood and are likely to be a more common occurrence with recent disturbances of the routines of your little ones. But the children too pampered by their parents tend to throw convulsions much more frequently - and with less provocation, than the average child.
For many spoiled children, "they are so used to making a path that, even at the point of rejection, it is a reaction at the crossroads for them to make stories," says the certified mental health consultant andFamily specialist Claire's hairdresser.
5 They never offer help.
Although your toddler can not jump to give a hand on each household project, you work in quarantine, if your teen suddenly at home does not hold so much for you when you have your hands full, C ' is a major red flag, says hairdresser.
"It's very sad still acommon error parents do By not abandoning the trait of thinking about others, "she explains." This will have negative repercussions on their future interactions and relationships. "
6 They do not play well with their peers.
One of the clearest signs your child has been too delivered? They do not agree with their peers - they take a socially distanced walk or catching up a video discussion because of their brutty behavior.
"Working well with others is an important part of life, so helping our children learning that early in life is an advantage. It's our responsibility that parents help them learn that," saysclinic psychologist Lori Whatley, PhD.
7 They refuse to do housework.
Your teenager has a lot of time in their hands these days, so if they still can not gather the determination to pick up their room after their application, it is likely that this attitude derives from a place of law.
"Children should be taught by their parents to useful tasks," Whatly said, who notes that there are appropriate household tasks by age for children from a very young age. "For example, oblige a five-year-old child keep their toys away is a responsible parent company." And if you want more insight into your child's life, discover these23 ways to get your teenager to open you, according to experts.
8 They do not say "thank you."
Politeness education is a process. That said, if your child will not do itgratitude Even when you are invited, it's a good indicator that they are spoiled.
"If your child can not express gratitude, it's a sign that they feel right to what is done for them and the things that are given to them," says marriage and family therapistVirginie Williamson, LMFT, co-founder ofGroup of collaborative advice.
9 They start the sentences with "I need."
We all know that the person who, even in adulthood, begins his Starbucks order with "I need" instead of "can I have please." And when you encounter this abominable behavior, there is a good chance that the individual is spoiled as a child.
"If your child feels he strongly feeling about everything they want, a snack at the most recent iPhone, they can not learn the competence of valuable life to distinguish a need for need and experience frequently Disappointment and frustration when their wishes are not completed, "says Williamson.
10 They do not share.
Sharing can be difficult at any age - and it may be an even greater issue now that your children spend all day cooperating with their brothers and sisters. However, if their refusal to share is consistent behavior, it is likely that because of parental indulgence.
"While it is normal for children to be egocentric at certain ages and that difficulties separate from very important things for them, your child should be able to demonstrate the generosity", whether it's a brother From brother playing with their toy or donating clothes and goods is no longer useful to charity, says Williamson.
11 They tell you as a peer.
If your children speak to you with the same lack of respect they use during the discussion with their friends, mark one in the spoiled column.
"A spoiled child, largely, without failing their own fault, believes that they manifest the same power in the family that their parents and often talk to them in a disrespectful or disrespectful way," says Williamson.
12 They do not show empathy.
If your child has no empathy towards others, they refuse to create a card for a family member in the hospital or do not seem to be affected by what's going on around the world, that should be caused for concern.
"Children in any life and development can make small empathy gestures. It can be anything from drawing a photo for a sister brother who has been sick or wounded or even as easy as to give to A parent a hug when they perceive that their parent is sad, "said Williamson. An inability or reluctance to be done is generally indicative of a spoiled child.
13 They do not want to compromise.
Everyone has their senior and emotional lows, especially in the unprecedented moments that we live, but spoiled children often become so used to being appeased by adults of their lives that their emotional regulatory capabilities are still severely unleashed. "If your child continues to have trouble calming, being patient or compromised, it can be an indicator that your child is spoiled," says Williamson.
However, it is important to exclude other possibilities before jumping directly to the spoiled card. Williamson notes that they can also report untreated mental health problems or learning handicaps, so it is important to have evaluated them by a professional if you do not feel behavioral changes at home work.
14 They are not a good sport.
Losing is never fun. However, if your child can not bear minor disappointments, like not to win a monopoly game or see their sister brother a goal in a football game of the court, it's a problem that needs to deal with.
Williamson says your child can be ruined if "still blames others for a mediocre performance, expect to be distinguished for praise for everything they do, [scream] to others who do not do the path, and [fails] give recognition when their teammates or their competitors succeed. "
15 They do not have a filter.
The children are notorious to say bad things in bad weather, whether to give unwanted information about the personal life of their parents to foreigners or to provide live details of the last time they have fallen sick. But if your children are constantly incapable of reading the room once they are old schools, it's a sign of a bigger problem.
"Whether it's material goods or special attention, they will ask what they want without regard to the time or place," saysSANAM HAFEZEZ, Psyd, member of theFaculty of Teaching Columbia University. "For example, they can interrupt their parent and demand their attention only to show their parent something that could have wait."
16 They do not care if their behavior disadvates others.
Things are difficult for everyone right now, but a spoiled child will probably not change their behavior entitled, even if they ask their parents or friends is no longer possible.
Spoiled children "ask regardless of money, time and disadvantages for others," Haféz said. In the end, it becomes a more important problem that it "relates to them later in life in relations, school, workplace and other basic social interactions."
17 They cited when they do not vail.
"Typical of the narcissal - and spoiled children are being raised to develop narcissistic features - when they do not vail, they will be wicked and too dramatic," says Haféz. "Think about the slapping door, throwing things and eliminating deep insults."
18 They have poor self-esteem.
Although spoiled children may often seem too confident, it's usually a facade masking their self-criticism.
"Often anxious and self-hate, [the] adult version of a spoiled child compensates for a low self-esteem by locking on other people to build them," Haféz said.
19 They require special treatment.
It's great to make your children feel special. If your child asks to be treated as such, whatever the opportunity is far from being a good sign.
For example, this could include "making special meals for this child many nights and do not have a family meal [or] your child [insister] sleeping with you despite your wish to make them sleep in their own bed", saidGail Saltz, MD, aAssociate Professor of Psychiatry At the Ny Weill-Cornell School of Medicine Presbyterian Hospital.
20 They intimidate others.
Bullying can happen even when children are not physically present at school and that this behavior often has a surprising origin: a parenthood too permissive.
Spoiled children "are only aware of their own feelings, not others," says Salz, who notes that this can lead to a malice and intimidation behavior towards their peers.
21 They are manipulators.
If the sentence, "Mom allows me to do it because it loves me more than you" is part of your child's vocabulary, it is high time that you re-examine your parental strategy.
"A spoiled child will use parents like pawns to serve their agenda," Haféz said. "They even go from parents to parents against parents and even with the parent who aligns on their way."
22 They always ask for more.
A spoiled child rarely appreciates what they have. Instead, they continue to ask more, even when their caregivers simply try to keep your head over the water.
"If your child is given and wait [treatments] 24/7, then their reaction to a vacation cookie may not be" yum, it's great! "It may be 'Meh, I want the ice cream!" "Says Salz." If it continues quite often, it reflects a problem. "