Good Lifestyle

Make a relationship of the last relationship is not easy feat, even for people walking in the driveway ready to do hard work to have aHappy and healthy wedding. However, it is not only major transgressions, such as infidelity, which can eliminate what seemed like astable foundation. To invade the privacy of some with others not to define clear expectations, it is the wedding errors that anyone should know how to avoid, according to experts. And if you want to keep your wedding solid for years to come, discover these50 wedding tips for couples who have been married for 50 years.

Although every day can not feel like your first appointment, forget to show your partner how special they are for you, you will eventually eliminate your wedding over time. Regardless of your age, "it is important to continue doing what you did to attract your partner's interest if you want to keep your partner's interest," says the coach of sex and relationshipLisa M. Rogers, Rn, founder ofGreenaura Wellness. This may mean getting dressed, flirting with each other, or just do the time to be alone on a regular basis. And if you want to strengthen your relationship, try the40 best date ideas if you have more than 40 years.

It is easy to move through work, children or myriad of other stress that come with an adult life from day to day. That said, if you do not feed your romance, be ready to watch it fade. "The setting of the side time for the date of night and the only time helps couples stay connected and helps restore the energy needed to maintain a well-filled household and keeps happy couples," says Rogers. And for more ways to show your partner that you care, check21 ways to be a more thoughtful spouse, according to experts.

"Silver problems are amain cause of divorce", Said Rogers. Keeping your wedding on a solid soil today, tomorrow and 10 years from now, you should consult with each other on big purchases and understand the financial goals of each other for the future .

Of course, when you are in a committed relationship, you and your partner should contact you money. But you should not let the finances dictate your dynamic. "As far as money is concerned, couples make the mistake of belitting or indulging their partner because they earn more money than the other," saysRachel Moss, co-founder of the dating siteA good date. It's a toxic way to approach your wedding and will probably lead to an emotional fiber between you two.

You have heard time and many times that theCommunication is the key to a happy relationship, and yet so many couples still have trouble keeping an open dialogue. You and your partner need to listen to each other and to be able to express, explain and articulate your feelings in a space where you do not feel judged. "For the two people to feel happy and accomplished and sailed on challenges at their appearance, it is necessary to [to be] an environment where open communication can occur," says Moss. And if you want to strengthen your union, start with the50 best wedding tips from all time.

The search for e-mails or texts of your partner is a huge invasion of privacy, as well as a violation of trust. "If you look quite difficult, you will find something that could be interpreted negatively. If you believe that the other person is unworthy, the interpretation of their actions will be colored by this belief," saysGina Gardiner, a coach of empowerment and relationship in U.K., and founder ofTruly you. You should trust your partner enough to not feel the need to make you search - and if you do not do it, it's probably time to talk about why it's.

He can not pay to raise everything your partner does thatyou annoyBut when more important problems are starting to arise, prevent them from winding only your wedding. "Keep calm when you have a problem with your spouse strengthens anger and resentment and can lead to enormous conflicts," Rogers declared. His suggestion? Talk about a serious problem as soon as it comes and work while it's fresh in your mind.

Expect someone radically transforms into a wedding is simply unreasonable, unjust and unproductive. "If you or your companion needs to change your basic scholarships to make the relationship work, you're probably with the wrong person," saysKevin Darné, author ofMy cat does not agree! (A relational epiphany). Instead, go your other other feeling of a million dollars with these23 small compliments you do not say it's going to go a long way.

The arguments are required to occur in a wedding, but you should tackle them more rationally as you make. Young couples tend to look for the drama and choose unnecessary fights, but this type of behavior will probably not belerated over time. "At age 40, it is important to look for cruises in their golden years rather than buying an electronic ticket to ride unpredictable Russian mountains," said Darné.

A certain amount of conflict is healthy for a relationship to grow. And as an adult, you must be able to handle the confrontation, instead of trying to avoid it. "Show me a couple who does not fight and I'll show you a couple with deep secrets," saysJessica Elizabeth Opercert, an expert of love and relations in London. "It's not about how much or how often you fight. It's about how much love is left in the ring when you're done. You can have a conflict without being disrespectful and naughty."

You and your partner are a team, but that does not mean that every person must rely on the other for everything for everything. It is essential to find a balance in which you and your partner are you for each other, but also to function as independent people in the world. "The most satty relationship is between those who say," I need you in my life, but I also need you have your own life, "says Operesert." Have and maintaining the autonomy that allows us To remain individually in our thoughts, our activities and our ideas are crucial - as away from the partners to cherish this autonomy. "

While the code of codependence can run any wedding, being so self-sufficient that your spouse feels as if it is not necessary, can wear in the same way to your wedding.

"When you do that, you basically take your partner with a chance to get a feeling of value, that is to say how precious they and their contributions are, in your general sense of well-being, of happiness and satisfaction, "explainsMark Borg Jr., Doctorate, psychologist and psychoanalyst in New York. Whether you need them to help you install a new luminaire or teach you a recipe, it is imperative that you make your partner necessary, even if it's just for their good.

You and your partner are a unit, but you are also two individuals, which means that work for you both happy to need compromise. And it takes practical, although unfortunately many couples do not increase occasionally. When she was asked what generalMistakes most people do in relationshipsEven after reaching 40 years, Moss says it's "a reluctance to compromise".

It's easy to feel that love search is the end of a long trip, but the job does not stop there. It is important to always work on yourself because you owe it to your partner to be the best possible.Inasmuch as"Some people are afraid to look at themselves and their actions in their relationships," says Moss. "Once someone is over 40, it's becoming more and more important to think about yourself, grow with your partner and show [for your] partner differently and more consciously."

Your partner can not be expected to read your mind. You must therefore be able to articulate what you want and need them to feel blooming in your wedding. "If someone has still not taken the stock of their values ​​and what is really important for them, it will be difficult to find a sustainable partnership that has a real depth and fulfills the needs of both people," says Moss . One of the benefits of age is that you are more in line with what is important for you. Make sure to share this with your partner so you can meet you halfway.

Sexually does not come easily to everyone, but engaging in an open dialogue on your desires will ensure your satisfaction in the bedroom. Your partner will not know how to make your fantasies live unless you tell them what these fantasies are. "Communicating openly on everyone's fantasies and desires allows a couple's easiest access to consideration," says Opert.

When you first enter a relationship, there is usually an initial period when the spark is so intense that it is difficult to abstain from tearing you. "Sex is an important role in every relationship and a way to connect differently and significantly with your partner," says Moss. But keeping the same living passion can be a challenge and, of course, there will be effects and flows about your sex life. It is therefore important that you are open with your partner of your sexual desires and sexual needs, whether they are shaved or exceeding.

While sex is an important part of any marriage, other forms of physical contact are also. In fact, according to a 2011 study published in theSexual behavior archives, a physical condition has been considerably linked to the satisfaction of relationships in middle-aged married couples, which means that the maintenance of the PDA on the menu could simply keep you and your spouse happier in the long run.

One of the most difficult lessons of life is that things do not always work exactly as you planned. When considering your wedding, you should not think about it in terms of defined calendar. ("I'm going to buy a house at 27, I have my first 30-year-old child, my second before 33 ...") Deciding that your wedding needs to progress to a certain speed is preparing for disappointment and frustration. If you and your partner are on the same page of your big pictures, like your career or you have children in general, you can relax on the exact chronology for these steps. This will make you and your partner will be happier in the long run.

You are certainly allowed to have goals for your relationship, but it is also important to have some flexibility - and not to use other people's partnerships as standards for your choice. Compare to other people is preparing for failure. "Every couple is different," saysNoelle Cords, sexologist and Chief Executive Officer ofJorn coaching in Los Angeles. "Humans have different needs that vary considerably on several separate continuums."

Removing your partner when you felt insecurity, you could be your Modus Operandi in high school and college, but this type of behavior is simply unacceptable later in life. It's completely natural and human to feel jealous, of course, but that's how you treat with these feelings that matters the most.

Couples should practice speaking honestly we jealousy they feel, without charge or trial. "The unchecked jealous tendencies can be destructive in a relationship," Cords said.

One of the many benefits of being in a committed relationship is that you do not have to exhaust yourself in bars trying to meet someone. However, although it is good to have someone with whom you can relax completely, you must be careful not to let things get too predictable. Having fun is a big part of a happy marriage, and this requires a little effort. "Find activities that you both like to share special time in your relationship," suggestsROSALIND SEDACCA, A certified divorce coach and relationship expert based in Florida.

As you and your partner grow, theselittle things they do for you May start to feel less special, which makes it easier to take the meals cooked at home or "just because" this for granted. Sedacca emphasizes that even tiny gestures like saying"Please and thank you," is important to prevent that from happening. "It's easy to take for granted in mid-life," she said. "Remember to show appreciation for little things in your life and show you respect your partner."

"A balance between friends, family, colleagues and social circles helps maintain a healthy relationship," saidTammy Shaklee, founder ofMatchmakers H4M. Nobody wants to be the person who stops to hang out with their friends when they are associated. Moreover, it is essential to have a life outside of your marriage.

After talking with your partner, it is tempting to act as if nothing happened the next morning, but the bottling resentment never done favors. Disagreements should be resolved and the address of non-hostile manner is essential for a healthy relationship.

However, it is okay to take a second if things really heated and return to the conversation when you feel calmer. "If you are in a bad space, cut you, walk the dog, run a race and go home with a better plan," said Shaklee. "Encadilant your words to be positive, even when you want you want you to be corrected, has more power when you talk about positivity."

Keep your animosity towards other other will eventually be delighted to wreak havoc on your relationship. "Forgiveness sets you free. It opens your heart, lightens your load and replace resentment with compassion," saysTreva Brandon Scharf, A life coach and a Los Angeles dating coach.

A partnership should be based on trust, so a no it will not prosper. Trust someone takes an act of faith, but taking that leap shows that you are committed and willing to put your heart on the line for them. If you can not trust your partner, you feel it as a betrayal for them and probably lead. "Your partner can only give you as reinsurance - the rest is up to you," said Scharf.

While having a partner who makes you feel good about yourself is important if your partner is your only source of self, you will be unhappy in the long run.

"These are years to really refine your character, find your purpose, clarify and become who you really want to be," said Scharf. "Do not rely on someone else to make you happy. Be the source of your own validations."

It is best to leave the game in the schoolyard. One of the best parts of getting older is that you do not have to deal with the joystick. You're too busy and tired for that. Any relationship that involves mind games is toxic, so get out and work on changing.

This one is hard, but it can be avoided - or at least worked on. It is difficult not to tackle a new relationship with the mentality of a precedent, but they are two separate situations and must be treated as such. "Life is too short to miss high quality connections because you have been burned in the past," saysDaniella Bloom, MA, LMFT, a psychotherapist expert and dating back to Los Angeles. Be vulnerable with your spouse can be difficult, but allowing you to finally do it.

Whether you are attended your children or for your infirm or elderly parents, assuming that the role of the caregiver for everyone around you with some points of sale for your frustrations can irretrangely harm your wedding. "Too much time in this role can lead to resentments," saysAdam Maurer, a wedding therapist and couples based on Texas. Maurer explains that being the only caregiver with little relief can lead to explosive explosions when "the only adult interaction [with your partner] makes a place to denter difficult feelings."

Just because you are married to someone does not mean you have to accept everything your partner does. But do not make limits, what it means to be explicit of your expectations of their loyalty, or leave your partner know that you do not like being tickled - can wear on your wedding.

"It is imperative that people know to which healthy and healthy boundaries are the limits that are not too permeable or rigid but are informed by the nature of the relationship and age and role of the other person", has declaredJoanne Ketch, LPC, LMFT, a Texas-based psychotherapist.

If you are not showing your love for your partner in small ways, do not be surprised if your wedding is not on strong legs for a long time. "It may seem minor, but the routines of the hugs, kisses," I love you "or other couple-specific routines are important for the health of a relationship," says Ketch.

Taking into account the feelings and desires of your partner is something you need to do if you want things to work in a wedding, even if it is difficult to understand their point of view.

"A common mistake that people do in relationships is to love their partner in the way they want to be loved, rather than in the way their partner wants to be loved," saysWyatt Fisher, Psyd, a wedding counselor in Boulder, Colorado. You must pay particular attention to understanding what your partner wants and your needs on your part - and realize that it may not be the same as you want and you need it.

You may have heard of the theory you end up marrying someone like your mother or father, but you may not know that there is psychological legitimacy in this phenomenon. Calledfantasy linkThis happens when people are looking for a sense of security and familiarity by choosing people who match ancient ideas and the roles of their past.

It is natural to be attracted by a dynamic that feels comfortable and familiar, but it is important to make sure it's not the only thing that feeds your wedding. Understand how your childhood has affected your adult manager with respect to yourfixing style, Conflict style and style of love, advises Fisher.

Although you like the same things, like the same friends, or even start dressing yourself in the same way after attaching the knot, omitting to recognize your partner as an individual can put your marriage on a fragile land.

"The biggest challenge of marriage is to recognize and accept that you are two different people with different experiences and feelings of all kinds of things," saysLesli Doores, author ofBlueprint for a sustainable wedding. Recognizing and respecting the fact that you will not always see eyes on the eyes, you can help keep your wedding strong, even when you do not agree with your spouse.

"A common mistake has made older couples, it's because they become too serious too fast," says Fisher. "Perhaps because they are recently divorced and [le] rebound, or maybe because they feel the pressure of age, they tend to dive into relationships."

Thinking of your wedding while the biggest day of your wedding will lead to problems only in the line. When couples do that, "they stop putting the same type of effort into the marriage they made to engage," says Doores. Instead, "they begin to focus on other things and the marriage dies the death of a thousand cuts".

Even if you think you and your partner are made for each other, do not give up premarital advice to derail a good thing before getting out of the ground. Ketch notes that the good premarital council will cover all of money with sexual relations to decisions regarding the care of each other if you are unlikely to be part of your usual conversations otherwise. "Often in the" honeymoon "phase of a new relationship, I see couples who do not recognize the inevitable challenges," she says. But the PreMartal Council is the best way to make sure your bases are covered.

Although he can be uncomfortable for some people ofcall a therapist When their marriage needs help, avoiding doing it will only worsen things. "It is much easier to correct the course before unnecessary habits are established," says Ketch.