11 things you should never do early in a relationship

When you teach someone who is a boyfriend / girlfriend, it can be both thrilling and stressful. However, there are ways to minimize the risk of saying or doing something that kills the relationship before it's really started.


When you teach someone who is a boyfriend / girlfriend, it can be both thrilling and stressful. You like to learn to know what makes you tick. But there is also a lot of uncertainty. You fear that you would say something or that you behave in a way that leads them to believe that you are a big weird. However, there are ways to minimize the risk of saying or doing something that kills the relationship before it's really started. There are 11 no-nos-n ° that you should avoid early in the relationship.

1. Act too needy / sticky

It is natural that at the beginning of a relationship, you would like to spend so much time with someone as possible. The feeling is probably mutual. But if he / she wants to attend his reading club as they do all Tuesday night or get a coffee with a friend without walking, do not let yourself feel jealous or resentful. As your relationship grows up, they will be more willing to integrate into their wider social life, including getting to know their closest friends. At the same time, it is important that you continue to have lives outside your relationship.

2. Move too quickly to plan your future together

When you make the transition to follow dates to officially become an object, there is a feeling of euphoria and enthusiasm that can not be ignored. They are so amazing! Hell, you even find their little boring quicks to be endearing. Maybe he / she is really the one! This is this way of thinking that some people make the terrible mistake to try to plan too far in the future. If you have not been together for a few weeks, even months, it's too early to discuss yourself. And allusion to a marriage is also a great no-no at this point. Just enjoy the relationship and be patient. There is no need to rush.

3. Compare them to your exes

If you say to your boyfriend / girlfriend, how they measure previous partners of Vs, you send two bad messages. First of all, he transmits them that you may not be on your ex, especially if you discuss it in a positive light. Second, it poses unnecessary pressure to meet all the expectations you have for them, even if you think you compliment them to be better than Jake or Jennifer.

4. Expects that they comply with all your ideals

Although compatibility and shared interest are obviously an important part of a relationship, you must allow some flexibility. As you go to dates and get to know them, do not treat the opportunity as if you are responsible for human resources. Do not obsess and make mental notes on their preference to eat, how interested they are in sports or how ready to do. Accept them for whom they are and use this as criteria to find out if a long-term relationship is viable.

5. Ignore immediate red flags

Although you certainly can not expect a partner to be perfect in all respects, there is also a risk of overhanging all their negative qualities, whether in the hope that they will change over time or Because you find them so attractive physically, you are trying to convince you that these character defects are not a big deal. If you notice that they have traits that would be difficult to support, they may be very confrontal, make questionable decisions that have had problems or have a profound political or religious beliefs that align with a way. Constant to conflicts - there is a very good chance that the relationship does not last.

6. Looking at their workplace

Surprising a new boyfriend / girlfriend by making them a meal or sending them flowers (or even better, tickets for the Super Bowl!) Is a charming gesture. But dropping by their office early in the relationship - especially at the stage where they do not even mention your existence to their colleagues - can be embarrassing and, frankly, scary. Give them a few months to beat you before doing your great appearance.

7. Lend money to them

If you only dating for a while and starting to ask you for their money, it does not bode well for the future of the relationship. For starters, it is an indication of nurses that they are not very good with their finances. Second, he sends a message that they take you for granted, which is not a good thing when your relationship has just come out of the ground.

8. Focus almost exclusively on the intimacy of the relationship

At the beginning of the relationship, you will make a lot of things to do and, probably, more. But you should not neglect other items, including emotional compatibility. Finding common interests and be willing to listen to them when they have a difficult day will help strengthen the relationship.

9. Say the word "l"

While everyone determines when they love their partner at their own pace, you should never say, "I love you" until you fully trust that the feeling is mutual. Otherwise, your partner could feel guilty of not being able to react in kind with sincerity. For some, it could take 3 months while others could wait 6 months before saying these words.

10. Introduce them in your whole family

There is nothing wrong with asking your new boyfriend / girlfriend to meet a brother and a cocktail, but if you are only a few weeks in the relationship and that you already invite them to the celebration of your big - 80th anniversary, it's a very questionable. decision. You should put aside enough time to know you before taking this jump. The last thing you want is that family members know where the relationship is directed before doing!

11. Act as someone you are not

When you meet someone who has a potential as a girlfriend / boyfriend, the temptation to introduce you to being cooler than what you are. However, it is an impossible act to follow in the long term. It is best to simply be yourself and they will love you to love (and hope it eventually love you) for whom you are, otherwise they will not be in case you go.


Categories: Relationships
Tags: psychology
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